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advice needed

Posted by on Jul. 31, 2007 at 12:37 AM
  • 6 Replies
I'm new here but I come seeking advice about a situation I've got at home with my neighbor. I live in an apartment complex, and my backyard is a wonderful area for all the kids to come play. One of my neighbor friends is a stay at home mom like me so we enjoy coffee and play dates with the kids on a regular basis. As an extra boost and also to help a friend she was providing child care for her upstaris neighbor. The first incident happened on Easter when her then 5 year old, and the 6 year old she watches were caught in the bathroom with his pants off and her kissing him below the belt. We discussed it with the kids, and even got his parents involved.

But it happened again but this time with her 4 year old daughter and the same boy. They were caught in the bedroom with him teaching her how to kiss him down there. Now at first glance this doesn't seem like it's my problem at all, However, the father of the young boy is now avoiding me and my kids and telling his kids to stay away from us, telling his new child care provider not to allow his kids outside with mine, and to not talk to me. He's telling his family and friends that his son wasn't involved, and that my daughter is trying to teach his son this stuff. My daughter hasn't been involved in this situation till he is telling friends and family that my husband and I allow our kids to watch porn and watch us be intimate.  His allegations to his family are not true as the other mother can attest to.

My concern is that an outsider such as his family and friends who don't know me or my family will get involved or try to get authorities involved. I'm not worried about any case findings they may find because we don't do what he says, but I can't approach him and talk to him to ask him to stop because he avoids me. I know that in legality this is slander and we could persue court actions we just can't afford that for something so small though. Is tehre anything my family can do to prevent this situation from blowing much more out of proportion and to protect my daughter from his malicious slandering of her name?
by on Jul. 31, 2007 at 12:37 AM
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Replies (1-6):
mysweetJBs
by on Jul. 31, 2007 at 12:57 AM
That sucks that because of false accusations you & your child are involved.  I think the best thing to do is just stay away from him & definitely his son.  Altho you may have it in your heart to want to help this boy, who obviously has a "strange" home life, it would be best to stay away for the sake of your own child.  If it's affecting when you & your kids can go outside for the communal playground, that sucks.  Try your best to go opposite his kid's play time if you can.  If it's impossible to avoid him then maybe you could drop him a little note by his door when you know no one is home saying as simply & diplomaticly as possible that your child has nothing to do with past occurances and that you'd appreciate him leaving your family out of neighborhood gossip.  Avoid & stay on guard.  Maybe he'll move soon.  :)
Brandywine79
by on Jul. 31, 2007 at 1:10 AM
Thats what I was thinking also...about the note. What about the childs mother, or someone else you see there often? Could you maybe speak with one of them about it and let them talk to him? It really sucks that he would do that...and its scarey. B/c just like a cheating person it seems he is trying to take the spotlight off himself and point it at someone else to cover his tracks...know what I mean? Do you know anyone w/in the child welfare system? Or maybe you could call and just ask questions, anonymously about what you should do.

I really dont think it is that serious....but you might. Seems like he is kind of embarrassed...maybe the boy did walk in on his parents and now he is embarrassed b/c he knows that he saw it from them?? IDK!!! Either way he shouldnt have brought your family into it.
Caeriah
by on Jul. 31, 2007 at 1:19 AM
Ohhhh a note, I hadn't thought of that. I may try that next time it becomes an issue. In all honesty it's not effecting my kid's play time but it's effecting his kids. His lack of respect for me also means he feels it's ok for his kids to disrespect me. Thanks
Caeriah
by on Jul. 31, 2007 at 12:23 PM
The mother is out of the picture, due to cps involvement. I've contacted CPS annonymously to ask questions about the situation already, the young boy isnt' doing any harm or considered to be a "sex offender" till 8 years old. And I'm not looking to get the boy labeled as a sex offender I just want the slander from the dad to stop. As far as what the dad is saying Child services can't get involved in that.
brandyblx
by Platinum Member on Jul. 31, 2007 at 12:43 PM
 About a year ago we had something sort of similar happen to us.A foster family down the street is taking care of a brother & sister.The little boy is constantly at my house playing with my 3.When they sent his sister to this same family she started coming to play,too.I kept catching her locking herself in bedrooms with my middle son(he's six).We kept telling her to stop or go home(at this point it was just intuition)About 8 months ago my husband caught her  removing my sons clothes and showing him what to do with his.... this little girl is going to be 13 in a month or two...I finally had to notify child services,because she would look for him at the bus stop!!!!!!! Brian(my son)doesn't understand why he can't play with her anymore....
littletandme
by on Jul. 31, 2007 at 12:47 PM
What I want to know is how come a six year old boy knows about having little girls kiss him down there?  That's what is bothering me.  I'm sorry you have to be in the middle of this.  I hope it works out and no one gets hurts.

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