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DH disciplining my sonGRRR(venting)

Posted by on Jul. 31, 2007 at 7:43 PM
  • 15 Replies
I have been married over a year and with him off and on for over two.  We fight constantly, never agree on anything and the thing that bothers me the most is it really bothers me is the way he disciplines my son.  Tristan isn't his biological son and I feel like he over dramatizes every little thing Tristan does and yells at him for no reason, like today, he screamed at him for spilling some crackers, i don't mean yell I mean SCREAMED and scared Tristan half to death.  For the rest of the day we have been at each others throats and I have to work tonight (3rd shift) and I'm tempted to just call out, I shouldn't be afraid to leave him with the hubby but I just don't know what to do anymore, I don't want to fight with the hubby anymore but with the new baby on the way I'm afraid to do it alone.....am I just being a hormonal mess and over defensive?  Does anyone else have troubles letting their spouse/step parent discipline their children?  Anyways thanks for letting me vent.

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by on Jul. 31, 2007 at 7:43 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Dimples79
by on Jul. 31, 2007 at 7:49 PM
 Well my husband is my sons father & i don't agree on how he disciplines either, he hits & i don't, but when my husband  hits my son i beat the shit outta my husband, he's learning fast how it feels & that it's unacceptable..lmao...

I don't like when they scream like that at children & especially that your husband isn't his biological father , he needs to back of a bit & not over step his boundaries..


You guys have to have a long discussion on how you want your son to be disciplined & what's not acceptable..







TJones32
by on Jul. 31, 2007 at 7:50 PM
My hubby is my oldest step dad and it was really hard at first for me but when my hubby came into our lives my son was 8.  But you need to think of your son and if he is screaming at him for crackers I don't know if I would leave him alone with your son.  That is only my opinion and I think it's cuz I hear all those horror stories.  But he is your son and you do what makes you feel comfortable.

Hugs,
Tracee

Dimples79
by on Jul. 31, 2007 at 7:51 PM
yea i wouldn't feel safe leaving him  with my child..





nemiller
by on Jul. 31, 2007 at 7:54 PM
I would definitely tell him to back off.  He's not teaching your son to be responsible and well-behaved, he's teaching him to be fearful of making mistakes.  Does he really want a child that avoids him and resents him later?  My dad was like that with my brother, and they do not have a good relationship.  My brother avoids my dad like the plague and can't wait to move out.  I would explain to him your view.  What you consider misbehaving vs. making mistakes, and what punishments you consider appropriate (yelling is usually not the answer).

Tricia76
by on Jul. 31, 2007 at 7:55 PM
Yeah don't leave him with your hubby..I have seen to much stuff on the news.And I couldn't take that chance.But its all up to u.You gotta make the call..If ya know what I mean.



RoseHooker
by on Jul. 31, 2007 at 7:56 PM

Quote:

I have been married over a year and with him off and on for over two.  We fight constantly, never agree on anything and the thing that bothers me the most is it really bothers me is the way he disciplines my son.  Tristan isn't his biological son and I feel like he over dramatizes every little thing Tristan does and yells at him for no reason, like today, he screamed at him for spilling some crackers, i don't mean yell I mean SCREAMED and scared Tristan half to death.  For the rest of the day we have been at each others throats and I have to work tonight (3rd shift) and I'm tempted to just call out, I shouldn't be afraid to leave him with the hubby but I just don't know what to do anymore, I don't want to fight with the hubby anymore but with the new baby on the way I'm afraid to do it alone.....am I just being a hormonal mess and over defensive? 
Why are you with him then? I mean you say you never agree on anything, he's mean to your kid and is scaring him half to death. You can't trust him alone with your child and you are still with him. What is the real issue?
ceciliam
by on Jul. 31, 2007 at 7:56 PM
That is so sad...yelling at a baby like that.

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jill785
by on Jul. 31, 2007 at 7:59 PM
My ex husband was the same way with my son ( his stepson ) and I was pregnant with his son. My son could do nothing right and everything was always a battle. I know how you feel. Our marriage didn't work out. I just couldn't do it anymore. I know this doesn't help you but I don't want you to feel like you are alone.
mamaof2babies78
by on Jul. 31, 2007 at 8:00 PM
I dont like to hear that he was screaming at your son for spilling crackers...so not necessary.  If YOU do not feel comfortable leaving your son with him, then you need to trust your instinct and not leave him!  Another thing you should think about is...instead of being worried about having another baby and doing it alone, you should ask yourself if you are willing and wanting to bring another life into the situation that you are in. 
I strongly believe that people can change, if THEY want to.  So if you truly love this man and want to make it work, tell him that you think that you both should see a therapist together and alone.  If he is willing to do that, then give him a chance.  If he is not willing then you need to ask yourself if you are willing to live this way indefinitely.
GOOD LUCK!
sarahmomto3
by on Jul. 31, 2007 at 8:01 PM

awww, hun im sorry!! If you need to talk just message me!!!

I dont agree always the way that dh disciplines but thats something we talk about in private, not in front of ours kids! The older hes gotten then better and more mature he is and that has def. helped!!

I keep it real and thats a promise,I might be a bitchbut atleat im honest!

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