The Broken Ones... A Word to Christians concerning Sexual Abuse, Satanic Ritual Abuse, & Multiple Personalities
What are your thoughts after reading below? Please be nice.... more questions following. Thank you for reading!
A Word to the Church - What is Missing in the Church? (written by me, about 4 years ago)
think this is a strange question. But ask any sexual abuse survivor
and, albeit in different wording and with tones of their own pain, you
will no doubt hear the same answer.
First, let me tell you what is not missing in the church.... deeply wounded people. I do want to say that most of the Christian churches I have attended are filled with sincere, God-loving folks. But it would shock most of them to know that there are hurting people sitting right in their pews. These are people who have spent most of their lives suffering in silence, and that silence is further encouraged by the church.
Well-meaning Christians tell hurting people, 'It's in the past - just get over it!' Why do we as Christians sing the song, Precious Memories? The words say, 'Precious Memories ....how they linger-how they ever flood my soul. In the stillness of the midnight, precious sacred scenes unfold.' Some may say, don't dwell on the past... but that song is proof to me that everyone has memories, just some are not as precious as others. If they can have their memories, then why shouldn't the wounded also have a right to sort through theirs too? We are not doing this alone, and it's not easy. Even JESUS has scars.... I don't think He has amnesia, or wonders how those scars got there when He looks at them.
If you look at the dynamics of the wounds inflicted by childhood sexual abuse, it is a wound like no other. That person has been violated in the worst possible way. It is a violation of relationship and trust, especially if the abuse was by a family member or a close friend of the family. They most likely have learned to survive the abuse by dissociating from their pain and the events that caused it.
Let's say this person comes to the Lord and 'surrenders all' to Him, finding the love their lives were so void of before. They grow in grace and in the knowledge of the Lord and His Word for several years. And then as an adult in their 30's or even older, their past catches up with them - they find out that there was more to their 'all' than they were ready to admit in the beginning.
What is really happening here? Their loving Heavenly Father has carefully prepared them for this crucial time. He now is requiring them to take a look at the deeper issues in their hearts. Up till now, they have been nurtured and sheltered from their past, but the Lord doesn't allow us to sit in denial when we are faced with the past. That would be one and the same as living a lie, and 'all liars shall have their part in the lake of fire.'
There is more than you think to the verse that says, 'Train up a child in the way that he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.' Why does the Word of God say that? He knows that children are impressionable. They are meant to be loved and nurtured. What they are taught and what they experience early on stays with them until they are old.... if you depart from your past, you are living a lie! But the truth is, you will not depart from what you were taught in your childhood. Yes, the Lord can and does heal our pasts, but it is nonetheless, still there! We cannot erase it... that was proven by our efforts to erase it by dissociating. The effects were always there.
This is where things get difficult. Most likely, this person has friends, brothers and sisters in Christ, who they have become somewhat close to. But now, a person who may have seemed to have had it all together (on the surface, anyway... ) is suddenly 'losing it.' She tells the secret of her painful past... and present. She expects compassion, love, prayer, and support... but most likely what she receives is pity, then a sort of self-righteous attitude of 'just get over it.' Would they say 'just get over it' to their 3 year old daughter or granddaughter who had been violently raped or molested? No! Absolutely not!
You may ask what a grown sexual abuse survivor has in common with the child who has been violated in such a way. Well, in a way, the adult survivor is just as much a child as the 3 year old, especially if they have dissociated from it for so long. When they are required by the Lord to face their truth, THEY WILL FEEL THE PAIN OF IT -- there's just no way around it! And they will feel it just as though they were that 3 year old (or at whatever age/s the abuse/s occurred) and just as though it were happening all over again. They will be faced with their own emotions - ones they have tried to separate themselves from for years! This is the time in their life when they NEED their brothers and sisters in Christ most. This is where the body of Christ can really shine!
What is missing from most Christian churches? I believe I speak for us all when I say.... We need a listening ear with a compassionate heart attached when we need to break the silence - yes, with our tongues! We need to be able to tell! The greatest weapon of the enemy in our lives has been silence. As long as we are kept silent, then we are held captive by what silenced us. This is where we overcome... when we speak our truth/our testimony. Oh, it may not be so pretty right now. But we are just in the middle of our story and the Lord really does have a beautiful ending for us!
What is missing in the church? Patience and longsuffering! Our Heavenly Father is not impatient, why should His people be any different? It is He who has orchestrated the events that have required us to journey into our past. It is His way of restoring what the locusts and the cankerworms have devoured.
What was missing from our lives as children was security, nurturing, and love. What does Father God do when a dissociator finds herself reliving painful events from her childhood? He cries with her. He patiently waits until she comes to the place to where she can trust Daddy-God not to hurt her as her earthly daddy did. He longs to hold her, but that may have been a terrifying thing for her when she was living in abuse. Experience taught her to distance herself from intimacy so as not to be hurt again. Father God, being the loving Daddy that He is, wants us to know the joy of experiencing closeness with Him. He allows us to 'become as a little child' and learn to trust Him as Abba Father! He says, 'Suffer the little children to come unto me for of such is the kingdom of Heaven.' He never turns us away!
Please, pray for an understanding heart. We don't need you to understand everything we are going through in our process, but please allow us our process! Don't try to silence us, turn a deaf ear/heart, treat us as if we have a disease or some default, accuse us of some great sin because we feel pain! Please don't place a time limit on what is the work of the Lord to begin with. Most likely, there will not be one miraculous event that marks healing but a series of events and gentle nudges from Father God, like an eagle mother with her fledglings before they take their first flight. Life for any Christian is a learning process, and the same goes for the sexual abuse survivor.
We all have our faults and hang-ups we have to overcome. What we don't need is guilt over something that was not our fault. What we do need is the freedom to speak without being condemned. We may need a hug when we need a safe place to cry, and grieve. We don't need eloquent speeches and philosophical words, but we do need to be prayed with and encouraged in the Word of God when we may not be thinking and feeling so 'grownup.' What we don't need is abandonment and rejection. But what we do need is a faithful friend. What is missing in the church? Jesus with skin on!
Will you receive us? We are the little ones who remember everyday the pain we endured... and we endure it still.
We cry... will you hear us? We hurt... will you hold us?
We are sometimes afraid... will you still love us?
We are learning to trust Daddy-GOD... He says He will not hurt us:) We like that:) We have HOPE:)
'The LORD is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart; and saveth such as be of a contrite (crushed) spirit.'
Also... if someone in your church came to you and asked for prayer, confiding to you that they'd experience SRA (satanic ritual abuse) would you turn them away? What would be your response? Would you pray for/ with them? Would you be willing to support them thru their healing? Would you be willing to learn all you could about what they are going thru? What if they said they had multiple personalities? What, then, would be your response to them? I'll share in another post, something I wrote to my close GOD-sent friend... something GOD showed me, which I titled "Triage."