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The Broken Ones... A Word to Christians concerning Sexual Abuse, Satanic Ritual Abuse, & Multiple Personalities

Posted by on Oct. 24, 2008 at 12:55 AM
  • 40 Replies

What are your thoughts after reading below?  Please be nice.... more questions following.  Thank you for reading!

 

A Word to the Church - What is Missing in the Church?  (written by me, about 4 years ago)

Some may think this is a strange question. But ask any sexual abuse survivor and, albeit in different wording and with tones of their own pain, you will no doubt hear the same answer.

First, let me tell you what is not missing in the church.... deeply wounded people. I do want to say that most of the Christian churches I have attended are filled with sincere, God-loving folks. But it would shock most of them to know that there are hurting people sitting right in their pews. These are people who have spent most of their lives suffering in silence, and that silence is further encouraged by the church.

Well-meaning Christians tell hurting people, 'It's in the past - just get over it!' Why do we as Christians sing the song, Precious Memories? The words say, 'Precious Memories ....how they linger-how they ever flood my soul. In the stillness of the midnight, precious sacred scenes unfold.' Some may say, don't dwell on the past... but that song is proof to me that everyone has memories, just some are not as precious as others. If they can have their memories, then why shouldn't the wounded also have a right to sort through theirs too? We are not doing this alone, and it's not easy. Even JESUS has scars.... I don't think He has amnesia, or wonders how those scars got there when He looks at them.

If you look at the dynamics of the wounds inflicted by childhood sexual abuse, it is a wound like no other. That person has been violated in the worst possible way. It is a violation of relationship and trust, especially if the abuse was by a family member or a close friend of the family. They most likely have learned to survive the abuse by dissociating from their pain and the events that caused it.

Let's say this person comes to the Lord and 'surrenders all' to Him, finding the love their lives were so void of before. They grow in grace and in the knowledge of the Lord and His Word for several years. And then as an adult in their 30's or even older, their past catches up with them - they find out that there was more to their 'all' than they were ready to admit in the beginning.

What is really happening here? Their loving Heavenly Father has carefully prepared them for this crucial time. He now is requiring them to take a look at the deeper issues in their hearts. Up till now, they have been nurtured and sheltered from their past, but the Lord doesn't allow us to sit in denial when we are faced with the past. That would be one and the same as living a lie, and 'all liars shall have their part in the lake of fire.'

There is more than you think to the verse that says, 'Train up a child in the way that he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.' Why does the Word of God say that? He knows that children are impressionable. They are meant to be loved and nurtured. What they are taught and what they experience early on stays with them until they are old.... if you depart from your past, you are living a lie! But the truth is, you will not depart from what you were taught in your childhood. Yes, the Lord can and does heal our pasts, but it is nonetheless, still there! We cannot erase it... that was proven by our efforts to erase it by dissociating. The effects were always there.

This is where things get difficult. Most likely, this person has friends, brothers and sisters in Christ, who they have become somewhat close to. But now, a person who may have seemed to have had it all together (on the surface, anyway... ) is suddenly 'losing it.' She tells the secret of her painful past... and present. She expects compassion, love, prayer, and support... but most likely what she receives is pity, then a sort of self-righteous attitude of 'just get over it.' Would they say 'just get over it' to their 3 year old daughter or granddaughter who had been violently raped or molested? No! Absolutely not!

You may ask what a grown sexual abuse survivor has in common with the child who has been violated in such a way. Well, in a way, the adult survivor is just as much a child as the 3 year old, especially if they have dissociated from it for so long. When they are required by the Lord to face their truth, THEY WILL FEEL THE PAIN OF IT -- there's just no way around it! And they will feel it just as though they were that 3 year old (or at whatever age/s the abuse/s occurred) and just as though it were happening all over again. They will be faced with their own emotions - ones they have tried to separate themselves from for years! This is the time in their life when they NEED their brothers and sisters in Christ most. This is where the body of Christ can really shine!

What is missing from most Christian churches? I believe I speak for us all when I say.... We need a listening ear with a compassionate heart attached when we need to break the silence - yes, with our tongues! We need to be able to tell! The greatest weapon of the enemy in our lives has been silence. As long as we are kept silent, then we are held captive by what silenced us. This is where we overcome... when we speak our truth/our testimony. Oh, it may not be so pretty right now. But we are just in the middle of our story and the Lord really does have a beautiful ending for us!

What is missing in the church? Patience and longsuffering! Our Heavenly Father is not impatient, why should His people be any different? It is He who has orchestrated the events that have required us to journey into our past. It is His way of restoring what the locusts and the cankerworms have devoured.

What was missing from our lives as children was security, nurturing, and love. What does Father God do when a dissociator finds herself reliving painful events from her childhood? He cries with her. He patiently waits until she comes to the place to where she can trust Daddy-God not to hurt her as her earthly daddy did. He longs to hold her, but that may have been a terrifying thing for her when she was living in abuse. Experience taught her to distance herself from intimacy so as not to be hurt again. Father God, being the loving Daddy that He is, wants us to know the joy of experiencing closeness with Him. He allows us to 'become as a little child' and learn to trust Him as Abba Father! He says, 'Suffer the little children to come unto me for of such is the kingdom of Heaven.' He never turns us away!

Please, pray for an understanding heart. We don't need you to understand everything we are going through in our process, but please allow us our process! Don't try to silence us, turn a deaf ear/heart, treat us as if we have a disease or some default, accuse us of some great sin because we feel pain! Please don't place a time limit on what is the work of the Lord to begin with. Most likely, there will not be one miraculous event that marks healing but a series of events and gentle nudges from Father God, like an eagle mother with her fledglings before they take their first flight. Life for any Christian is a learning process, and the same goes for the sexual abuse survivor.

We all have our faults and hang-ups we have to overcome. What we don't need is guilt over something that was not our fault. What we do need is the freedom to speak without being condemned. We may need a hug when we need a safe place to cry, and grieve. We don't need eloquent speeches and philosophical words, but we do need to be prayed with and encouraged in the Word of God when we may not be thinking and feeling so 'grownup.' What we don't need is abandonment and rejection. But what we do need is a faithful friend. What is missing in the church? Jesus with skin on!


 

 

 

Will you receive us? We are the little ones who remember everyday the pain we endured... and we endure it still.

We cry... will you hear us? We hurt... will you hold us?

We are sometimes afraid... will you still love us?

We are learning to trust Daddy-GOD... He says He will not hurt us:) We like that:) We have HOPE:)

 

 

'The LORD is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart; and saveth such as be of a contrite (crushed) spirit.'

Psalm 34:18

 


  Also... if someone in your church came to you and asked for prayer, confiding to you that they'd experience SRA (satanic ritual abuse) would you turn them away?  What would be your response?  Would you pray for/ with them?  Would you be willing to support them thru their healing?  Would you be willing to learn all you could about what they are going thru?  What if they said they had multiple personalities?  What, then, would be your response to them?  I'll share in another post, something I wrote to my close GOD-sent friend... something GOD showed me, which I titled "Triage."


by on Oct. 24, 2008 at 12:55 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Rebecca1379
by on Oct. 24, 2008 at 12:58 AM

Very well said, I completely agree!

Trust_HIM_Ps57
by on Oct. 24, 2008 at 1:10 AM


   Song:  The Broken Ones (by Lauren Talley)



Thank you...  I'm not seeing very many people clicking thru on this... thank you for your time  :)  Much appreciated!

Quoting Rebecca1379:

Very well said, I completely agree!

Parental Rights Violated - a Child Murdered!

The End of Time - Educate Yourself! (with info on SRA & multple personalities)

gemerald
by on Oct. 24, 2008 at 1:20 AM

Wow, that was a lot of text. The unfortunate truth is that your perception is correct. However, I do believe that it is unintentional. Most Christian people try to encourage one another to look forward and move onward.  There is nothing wrong with dealing with our past but there is something wrong with dwelling on our past. Many people who have suffered serious traumatic experiences in their past tend to dwell heavily upon it, which prevents them from moving on, from being happy, and ultimately makes them a bitter or frightened person.

I agree with many things that you said but one thing in particular I do not agree with. It is up to each individual of whether they want to deal with their past or not. If a person choses not to deal with their past and completely ignore it or block it out doesn't necessarily mean they are "lying to themselves thus making them a liar and going to be casted into a lake a fire" -- I think that's a bit over-the-top. Besides, things like that are very personal and God will deal with people on their individual level and no one should force someone to deal with their past.

Yes, some people do need emotional and spiritual support, as adults, when dealing with things from their past. I do believe that members of the church should provide that support. But, the church shouldn't "baby" the adult and allow them to dwell and dwell upon things to the point that they become as what I mentioned earlier.

Ya know, we can't save the entire world but we can make the world a better place one person at a time. You seem very passionate about this topic, which is great. You can be that person who would lend a listening ear to help a fellow brother/sister out. But more importantly, you want to think on a broader spectrum than that...not only christian people suffer with this type of traumas and non supportive surroundings... almost everyone you know has some type of trauma in their childhood so extending some love out their way is a great thing too plus it will encourage them to get involved with the church.

Have a great night.

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Trust_HIM_Ps57
by on Oct. 24, 2008 at 1:44 AM

Wow...  that is allot of text, as well - teehee!  I'll respond within your text, in this color.  ;)

Quoting gemerald:

Wow, that was a lot of text. The unfortunate truth is that your perception is correct. However, I do believe that it is unintentional. Most Christian people try to encourage one another to look forward and move onward.  And sadly, most in the Church do not understand (and are not willing to understand) what process it takes to move onward!  Moving onward means healing... healing comes with TRUTH/knowing the TRUTH ...not in pretending!  The Church seems to be afraid of the tough issues... and it is time they wake up!  There is nothing wrong with dealing with our past but there is something wrong with dwelling on our past. This is a common misconception (misjudgment) ...that just because a person is facing their past, that they are dwelling upon it.  This is the most hurtful thing a Christian could say... that sounds very very judgmental and insensitive.  Please do pray for more understanding.  This is the very reason I've written this!  I never told before, but when I did, all the sudden I was "dwelling"  ...makes NO sense at all!  Certain memories are blocked away, even though they still effect our lives daily... but when GOD requires us to face them (for our healing) we are NOT dwelling on our past... especially being that we didn't choose our past, and we didn't choose to have to block it out, and we didn't choose to now have to walk back through so that we can fully heal and be WHOLE as GOD intends!  ;)   Many people who have suffered serious traumatic experiences in their past tend to dwell heavily upon it, which prevents them from moving on, from being happy, and ultimately makes them a bitter or frightened person. You could not be farther from the TRUTH, friend!  This is only the perception of a person who has not been thru much (sorry....  should I be sorry that you never experienced such things??)  ...indeed, those things ARE HEAVY!!  That is why HE said, "Bear ye one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of CHRIST!"   I am more joy-filled now than I ever was, because in walking through this process of healing the LORD has shown me things about Himself many people never get to see!  HE is absolutely AMAZING and BEAUTIFUL!!!!!  I have seen Him... I've seen His wings!  ...been held by Him, and have seen His tears close-up!  (Touched with the feeling of our infirmities!  He felt it ALL!!  ...not only our pain, but that of the whole world throughout time!  Wow!!  When we saw that, we were so moved by it that we tried to wipe away His tears... but they would not diminish!  We told Him we wish we could go be with Him!  But we knew it was not time yet!)  He is so VERY compassionate!!  He is very near!!  But still yet, He never intended us to walk on this side of Heaven alone (in the physical sense)!!  We would not trade these experiences with Him for anything in the world!  It is worth it... walking with Him along this path of healing, no matter how long it takes!  It's exciting... He is AMAZING!!!  Is there pain?  YES, without a doubt!!!  MUCH!!  Undeniably so!  But how many of you women would say that the pain of carrying a child 9+ months and then, that of childbirth, is worth it, after you've felt the JOY of holding that little life?!!?!  Do you get what I am saying??

Yes, I agree that most christians try to be compassionate... hopefully, they will be willing to listen & learn where there needs to be more understanding so that their actions are not hurtful to others.

I agree with many things that you said but one thing in particular I do not agree with. It is up to each individual of whether they want to deal with their past or not. If a person choses not to deal with their past and completely ignore it or block it out doesn't necessarily mean they are "lying to themselves thus making them a liar and going to be casted into a lake a fire" -- I think that's a bit over-the-top. Besides, things like that are very personal and God will deal with people on their individual level and no one should force someone to deal with their past. I understand what you're saying, and really, I didn't mean it in the sense that every single person MUST face their past... or else!  I meant it in the sense that, when GOD Himself requires us to face things, it is for a reason... and to choose not to do so, would be choosing to live a lie (denial).  When you are looking right at something, and GOD says, "this is your truth"  and you tell Him He's wrong and choose to turn the other way, you are choosing to live a lie.  Yes, GOD is patient, but He would not require us to do something that we could not do, or was not ready to do. 

Yes, some people do need emotional and spiritual support, as adults, when dealing with things from their past. I do believe that members of the church should provide that support. But, the church shouldn't "baby" the adult and allow them to dwell and dwell upon things to the point that they become as what I mentioned earlier.  No one is asking to be babied! ;)  Personally, I believe (many times, not necessarily you) this is a cop-out from someone who does not have the same love and compassion CHRIST has... and from people who are afraid or (sorry) lazy christians who'd rather be christian in name, but not in deed.  Jesus wept... I've seen His tears!  His Word says allot about these things.... it is not good for man to be alone (can mean husband/wife, or otherwise, IMO) ...two are better than one ...a 3-fold cord is not easily broken!  ...weep with those who weep; mourn with those who mourn   ...bear ye one another's burdens, and so (or in doing so) fulfill the law of CHRIST (the law of CHRIST is LOVE!  JESUS said that the 2 great commandments were to love the LORD your GOD with all your heart, might, and soul ...and the 2nd is like unto it = love your neighbor as yourself... and ALL the other laws hinge on these 2 commandments!  Yes, the Law of CHRIST is LOVE!  If we say we love GOD and love not our brother, we are a liar. 

LOVE constrains us to go the extra mile.  Why is it that those who've been hurt the most, are the ones most willing to go the extra mile... to help along the ones who are more uncaring?  What I am saying is this:  I've been trying to get this point across to "the Church" for 4 years now ...and others before me have done the same.  We're the ones babying "the Church"  ...not the other way around.  Yes, I'm passionate about this, because I see so many people hurting, and GOD's people need to care!  NOT JUDGE!  I do love ...even those who say they love, but their actions show the opposite!  It just hurts my heart! 

Ya know, we can't save the entire world but we can make the world a better place one person at a time. You seem very passionate about this topic, which is great. You can be that person who would lend a listening ear to help a fellow brother/sister out. But more importantly, you want to think on a broader spectrum than that...not only christian people suffer with this type of traumas and non supportive surroundings... almost everyone you know has some type of trauma in their childhood so extending some love out their way is a great thing too plus it will encourage them to get involved with the church.  Actually, I have reached outside the church ...for years now.  But with my experience within the church, I've noticed that there needs to be more compassion toward people who are already within the church, because somehow, it is more unacceptable for Christians to feel pain??  This is the reason so many within the church are still silent about their pain, and why so many who were once in the Church are not any longer... because of judgmental people.  Just being honest. 

This is NO SMALL MATTER... it is true that every person will stand before GOD and answer for their own choices, whether they chose Him or not.  BUT... it is equally true, that the blood of MANY will be REQUIRED at the hands of the Church!!  We, too, WILL answer for OUR actions toward these hurting people! 

I hope that by my sharing my own experiences, SOMEONE ....even a handful(??) will understand, or at least try to. 

Have a great night.  Thank you!  You have a great night too!

Triage!! The Mission of the Church!

      


MommyLinda33
by on Oct. 24, 2008 at 1:50 AM

wow that was a lot.. i skimmed thru most of it.. just a lot.. lol

Well this is my story.. I was brutally gang raped in college.. I was in the hospital for 2wks because of it.. it was really bad.  So when I got home I went to my church, I was raised Roman Catholice.  I went to talk to someone since after the trial and everything I was emply.  Well.. I sat down with 2 priests and 2 nuns.. and after telling them everything that happened.  I was told that I had to pray for my sins.  That I had created.  That the rape was my fault and that I had to pray for my forgiveness. 

So after telling them to go sit and rotate I left the church and never to return again.  I believe in myself and my family.  And that's it. 

Please don't tell me I should believe in "him".. and blah blah.. because I have tried and after 15yrs without "him" in my life I'm just fine.  I believe in angels of my mom and my aunt and uncle.. I believe they grant me the serenity I need.  Thanks.. please try to respect my faith...

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Trust_HIM_Ps57
by on Oct. 24, 2008 at 2:00 AM

I do...  and my heart breaks into a million pieces to read this!!!!!!  I'm SO SO SORRY!!!!!!!!!  I love you....  I do wish I could've been there, I really do!!  :(

Quoting MommyLinda33:

wow that was a lot.. i skimmed thru most of it.. just a lot.. lol

Well this is my story.. I was brutally gang raped in college.. I was in the hospital for 2wks because of it.. it was really bad.  So when I got home I went to my church, I was raised Roman Catholice.  I went to talk to someone since after the trial and everything I was emply.  Well.. I sat down with 2 priests and 2 nuns.. and after telling them everything that happened.  I was told that I had to pray for my sins.  That I had created.  That the rape was my fault and that I had to pray for my forgiveness. 

So after telling them to go sit and rotate I left the church and never to return again.  I believe in myself and my family.  And that's it. 

Please don't tell me I should believe in "him".. and blah blah.. because I have tried and after 15yrs without "him" in my life I'm just fine.  I believe in angels of my mom and my aunt and uncle.. I believe they grant me the serenity I need.  Thanks.. please try to respect my faith...


KittyD
by on Oct. 24, 2008 at 2:01 AM

it's too long for me to read but, a bump 4 u

KittyD ~ Stop by my page & sign my Guest Book!

LovinIt247365
by on Oct. 24, 2008 at 2:04 AM

I'm not really into the religious aspect of this post, but I know what childhood abuse is like and I know the wounds I've carried around in silence for most of my life.  I also know that I've been expected to "grow up and get over it."  It sucks. 

MommyLinda33
by on Oct. 24, 2008 at 2:06 AM

Thank you.  It was really tough.. back then I was 19 and my family wasn't sure what to say and when they said something it was wrong.  I had to make hard choices at 19yrs old and I live with them daily.  I take solice in that Karma is a B*tch..lol  when I think of the 4 evil beings that took my soul.  But I don't think of it much.. anymore. 

This years anniversary will be very hard, its the first w/out my support system, my mom.  But I will try to remember the good points.. my milestones..and my daughter. 

Quoting Trust_HIM_Ps57:

I do...  and my heart breaks into a million pieces to read this!!!!!!  I'm SO SO SORRY!!!!!!!!!  I love you....  I do wish I could've been there, I really do!!  :(

Quoting MommyLinda33:

wow that was a lot.. i skimmed thru most of it.. just a lot.. lol

Well this is my story.. I was brutally gang raped in college.. I was in the hospital for 2wks because of it.. it was really bad.  So when I got home I went to my church, I was raised Roman Catholice.  I went to talk to someone since after the trial and everything I was emply.  Well.. I sat down with 2 priests and 2 nuns.. and after telling them everything that happened.  I was told that I had to pray for my sins.  That I had created.  That the rape was my fault and that I had to pray for my forgiveness. 

So after telling them to go sit and rotate I left the church and never to return again.  I believe in myself and my family.  And that's it. 

Please don't tell me I should believe in "him".. and blah blah.. because I have tried and after 15yrs without "him" in my life I'm just fine.  I believe in angels of my mom and my aunt and uncle.. I believe they grant me the serenity I need.  Thanks.. please try to respect my faith...



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Trust_HIM_Ps57
by on Oct. 24, 2008 at 2:06 AM

About 5 years ago, memories of very traumatic abuse started resurfacing for me... I was met with allot of painful responses within my church where I was a member for over 13 years!  I almost believed their LIES when they told me I was bad, defective, not wanting to be healed (because if I did, I would be already/I must not have been trusting enough or believing enough!), dwelling on my past, and a number of other accusations!  Their words brought even more pain and damage to my already bleeding, hurting heart!  Oh, how I hated myself for failing!!  But still yet, I cried out to GOD and He sent me a true friend!  She is not an abuse survivor ...though she has known pain.  But she has been the most intrumental tool in the LORD's hands to bring healing to my heart!  I want to share how the LORD showed me my friend before we met in person.  :)  GOD is amazing!

I will simply post a message here that I've previously written:


I dreamed that I arrived at a church, where I was met at the doors by 2 blond haired women, wearing nurses' uniforms and stethescopes.  They said not a word, but led me inside, down a hall, and placed me in a room where I was to put on a hospital gown.   (This represents vulnerability.)  When they returned, they still spoke not a word, but laid me on my back on a hospital bed.  The one woman with the longer blond hair laid on the hospital bed to my left, shoulder-to-shoulder with me,  but still did not say a word.  Then, the other woman leaned over from my right, and placed her stethescope on my chest.  (My heart had been physically in MUCH pain!)  She then looked over at the other "nurse" and said, "She was born with this;  This has been from birth." 

The statement, "She was born with this;  This has been from birth"  was referring to my being born with DID (dissociative identity disorder... alter personalities).  If you have questions about how that can happen, please feel free to ask!  The second part of that statement, "This has been from birth"  refers to my being born into SRA (generational).

That was the totality of the dream... come to find out, the one who was "shoulder-to-shoulder" with me(?)  ...this was my friend I was soon to meet ...and she at that time, had a friend who was praying with her while she ministered in Biblical prayer counseling.  (My friend is a trained prayer minister as well as teaches psychology in a college.  She ministers to women and children, sometimes men... in prayer counseling, called Theophostic Prayer Ministry.  Her friend would be in on the ministry meetings and pray while she ministered.)      

Upon our first meeting, my friend "L" was completely shocked, as she met some of my alters ...one little one in particular.  She had never ministered to a multiple, and was unsure if she was the one GOD wanted ministering to me.  We were to meet the next two days as well.  And the next day only confirmed her feelings of inadequacy!  The third day, she and her friend requested we meet outdoors in the fresh air so that she could talk to me about her concerns.

When she mentioned her uneasiness and reservations..... what immediately came out of my mouth was, "The LORD will teach you!"  It was TOTALLY unlike me to speak out like that, but I had such a peace about her and us working together... and plus, the previous night, I was reading in my Bible and came across Ps 32:8, "I will instruct thee and teach thee in the way which thou shalt go:  I will guide thee with Mine eye."  And I wrote L's name and the date next to it! 

When I said those words to her, she looked over at her friend, with laughter and amazement!  Why??  Because the night before, she had been up praying before she went to bed, asking the LORD if she was the right person to work with me... it was really bothering her!  And after she was asleep sme time, the LORD woke her up... about 3am, and spoke to her from Ps 32:8 ...and she, too, wrote my name and the date next to that verse in her Bible!  Amazing, huh?! 

There was a time when I could not speak, or even read or write the "L" word (LOVE) without becoming physically sick, and getting a migraine! The LORD revealed this to L ....that the concept of love was a very very difficult one for me (and my insiders/alters).  She would not even say, "I love you" to me, until the LORD specifically revealed to her it was safe (for me) to hear that!  She showed that, though, with her actions... she, herself, is NOT of a background such as mine, or anything close to it!  She has had many life challenges, but not SRA or multiplicity.  But the LORD has used her more than ANY person in my life, to further my healing!  The LORD helped me allow a heart connection to her.... something so so very scary for me!  But He said it was safe and okay... and He showed me how.  That was this past spring.  I'd never been able to allow my heart to connect to a person...  it just was not safe!!  If we loved, we'd be punished!!  Things and people taken away....  we could not risk that!  My hands tingle as I write these things... always do when I think (or remember) someone might be hurt, because we loved when we were not supposed to!  BUT...  these are all things we are being freed from!!  The LORD is patient with us! 

(Please understand... when things get a bit difficult for Kim and some others, we step in to help... so she is near by, but we are helping her write this!  Maybe, sometime, we will give a little "crash course" on us!)  We just wanted to explain to you that you do not need to be "expert" in anything... just LOVE HIM, and LOVE PEOPLE!!!  :)  I/we think you can do that pefectly well... with His help!!  ;)

We would like to share some of our writings with you!  When things are difficult, the LORD helps us write... as we pour out our heart in writings, He speaks, and then we write what He gives!  He is AMAZING that way!!! 

Daughter of the King! A message of HIS love!

Maybe, we will post it in a separate post as well.  :) 


For more on this, please see my journal entry on this.  It is much the same as what you see here, only toward the latter part, I have the actual application to how the Church should function... this is titled "Triage!!  The Mission of the Church!

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