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should i tell her how i feel, fight it, or pick my battles? kinda long piog

Posted by on Dec. 15, 2008 at 12:48 PM
  • 11 Replies

THIS IS LONG BUT HERE GOES: i was raised w/ religion forced upon me.. i chooes not to raise my son in any particular relgion, i do  beielve there is a god but thats it.. I dont call him any patricular name and we dont go to any church or conform to any religon. and we are happy that way. when our son gets older we have decided that he can follow any reglion he wishes.. he will be allowed to expolore all of them and make the decison of which one( if any ) works for him, but until then we will not push or promote any 1 relgion or god but we will do our best to honeslty answer any ?s he may have or direct him to someon who can.

well my mom and dad are strictly christain and they told me when my  2 yr old son comes over there  he will be read the kids bible, told about jesus, and made to pray ( sit quietly),  and they will make sure he knows who Jesus and God are..ect.. i do not agree with this but it is her house, should i say something.. or deal with it, do i have a right to butt in or should i respect her rules in her home.  She lives anout 1 hr and 1/2 away so he doesnt see her every but he sees her enough that this matters, they always want him to come over for the weekend, but i am leery about it becuase they wont respect how i feel and are still trying to force it on me again at 22 when i have made up my mind.i dont want to deny my son his only gramma cuz of this  but i dont feel she is respecting me either . has anyone gone through this? should i just let it go, should i say somthing, should i just make her come over here,  i dont want this to tear apart our family but i feel i she should respect how i want to raise MY son even if she doesnt agree with it cus I am his mother and not her, im so  confsused about what to do here adivce plz thanks for reading this!

by on Dec. 15, 2008 at 12:48 PM
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Replies (1-10):
MikeysMom51108
by on Dec. 15, 2008 at 12:51 PM

I think she needs to respect your beliefs about this.

My husband and I converted to Judaism, but the rest of our families are not Jewish. They think it's silly that we don't eat pork and that we don't want our son eating pork either (until he's old enough to start making those decisions himself anyway). Well, we told our families that if they cannot respect our beliefs, he wouldn't be allowed over there. That's how I think it should be.

Good luck.

lillitigator88
by on Dec. 15, 2008 at 12:54 PM

me and my husband are the same he is athiest and I am on the fence we want our daughter to make her own decision and his parents are christian and pray at the table church 2x on sunday every wednesday night sunday school kinda people.. not a bad thing just not for mee...  If they try to shove it down my dd  throat they will only see her when we are present she is my child and I make the decisions they will not be allowed to shove their personal beliefs down our dd throat they have their own choices when it comes down to it your ds is your ds and  he should be raised how you see fit. I personally would not put up with it is a big issue and they should respect your stance on it.  this is a battle to pick

25beengoodtome
by on Dec. 15, 2008 at 12:55 PM

Mt honest opinion, It's great,your parents are stepping up and teaching your children to think about God, Jeseus, and their beliefs.  You might not choose to "push" religion, but your children deserve the oportunity to learn about this whenever they can. I'd just monitor what they're preaching.

4LifeTupperware
by on Dec. 15, 2008 at 12:56 PM

I would allow it.    With him only seeing them once in awhile, and it not being in his life all the time, there is no harm in it.  At least he will be learning about it from someone that he trusts, so if he does have questions about that part he has a place to go other than you.

 

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Melanie, Wife for 14 years and a Mom, to 13 year old daughter, 10 year old son, 3 year old son, 10 month old son and two angel babies that would also be 10 months old, and two angel babies we lost early on in there tiny life's. Co-Mama to a little Girl that lives in Kenya, and Tupperware Consultant!   "Only one life, will soon be passed, only what's done for Christ will last."          

mammak
by on Dec. 15, 2008 at 12:57 PM

Your parents should be taking a back seat to your beliefs at this point. You are the parent and you decide how to raise your child not them. If they can't respect that then i wouldn't be letting my kids go over...I wouldn't want to have to explain why its like that over there or back track when they come home. If you want to raise your child a certain way then they need to respect that.

zillionaire
by on Dec. 15, 2008 at 1:02 PM

Definitely pick your battles with this one.  Your parents are only teaching him what they believe, and it is an important part of who they are as people and as his grandparents.  Now, if they wanted to take him and get him baptized or something... then put your foot down.  But if they want to teach him about the bible or take him to sunday school when he is visiting with them, it will all be a part of his becoming informed so that he can make his own decision when he is ready.

I had an aunt like that... she was very religious so she took us to church with us every chance she got.  I had fun going to sunday school with other kids my age, but I remember her church being very intolerant and I disagreed with so much that they believed in.  I think it helped make me a more balance and well-rounded person.  To this day, I believe pretty much as you do.  But I came to this conclusion after seeing all sides.

My MIL is pestering the shit out of me to have my daughter baptized.  It means a lot to my SO, so we will probably do it.  But because WE want to, not for her.  She wants me to be baptized before we get married, and I've totally put my foot down there.  It's not going to happen.  

NiahandAvasmama
by on Dec. 15, 2008 at 1:03 PM

that is really tough...it seems like they will be introducing him to that anyway, i don't think there is much you can do, except not let him over there. you can try to talk to them but i wouldn't count on too much being accomplished. i don't think it will do any harm though and this is a way for him to learn about other religions. my in-laws are jewish and if they want to teach my girls about hanukah and their other beliefs it wouldn't bother me. you said he doesn't see them all the time, i don't think they would be able to influence him to be a christian if you guys don't follow that. my parent weren't religious and i went to church wih my grandmothers every sunday and i like you believe that there is a god and thats about as far as it goes.

lovebugs_mom
by on Dec. 15, 2008 at 1:09 PM

Honestly, I would just drop it. You said yourself that you don't really care if picks one religion or another, so why should it bother you if your mom wants to teach him about hers? I mean, it seems like it might be a little bit hypocritical for you to say its okfor him to learn about religion, just not Christianity. They aren't going to hurt him at all, just teaching him what they believe.

ermka
by Gold Member on Dec. 15, 2008 at 1:11 PM

i feel the same way you do about things.. my mother feels the same way your parents do. Expcet my son goes to her house almost every weekend. I'm not pushing any particular beliefs on him, but if he chooses to believe the things that he's taught at my mothers house, then that is what he can believe. If he doesn't understand something, i'll answer questions for him, if he asks to pray at dinner and before bed.. i do these things with him. I'm not so against it that i'll refuse to do anything religiously structured...  but when i was growing up i had church forced upon me, and when i asked questions, i was told that if i was a "certain" type of christian, then this is what i HAD to believe, therefore, i've decided that organixed religion isn't something for me. However, i'll give my son and daughter... even though they're young, the option of going to church if they choose... if you're giving him the option to believe what he chooses.. i think you also need to keep his options open, and not shut him off from a choice he may or may not choose to make.

mommyof11050307
by Ruby Member on Dec. 15, 2008 at 1:15 PM

Your the parent not them. If they start to push it again tell them if they want to see their son it will be at your house only and only when you are there. Your not denying their grandparents they are the ones doing this and not respect your beilfs.

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