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lost and confused

Posted by on Dec. 15, 2008 at 2:09 PM
  • 3 Replies

first of all let me say hello to every one and i am so glade to finally be back in touch with every one... ok now to the problem i face...

    I have had it with the life i have and i want better for myself and my kids. but leaving the hubby is not easy i have tried many times and failed bad... we just dont see eye to eye on things that matter the most.. my daughter who is 11 has a very strong hate for her step dad and so does my 9 yr old son, the 6 yr old only knows him as dad although he is step dad to them all.. my daughter wants me to leave him so bad she is ready to pack herself and leave.. so i devised a plan.... just wait for my income tax and jump on a bus with what we can and leave the rest... destination unknown... family??? all i have is his family and his mom tells me i need to leave him  my life would be so much better... i just dont know what to do how do you just pick up 3 kids and leave your life behind.. i know i have to leave the state i have to get as far away from him as i can or i will be right back in a week.. but i know this isnt gonna work much longer...  i want my kids to feel safe in their home and i want our lives to be closer to the lord but  cant have this with my hubby of 7 yrs because of his life style and i really hate that i have changed and he hasnt and will argue that he dont need to... I just want out  but how do i get out.....

by on Dec. 15, 2008 at 2:09 PM
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Replies (1-3):
deenakate
by on Dec. 15, 2008 at 2:19 PM

Strength and Determination...

You have to set your mind to it and make the move, don't look back.

dk

 

Se7enTh1rt3en
by on Dec. 15, 2008 at 2:19 PM

Knowing that you have to leave is the easy part - actually following through is the hard part...but if it's gotta be done, it's GOTTA BE DONE!  You sound as though you already have a plan, now all you have to do is put it in motion.  Keep reminding yourself of all the reasons why you have to do it: your kids and their safety, you and your own safety...Dredge up every last reason you've decided to leave - ALL of them.  The more bad things you remember the better - as bad as it sounds - because it reaffirms your decision to leave, it makes leaving a little bit easier.

It's going to take LOADS of willpower to do it, but you've just gotta dig your feet in and stand your ground.  Stick to your decision, or he has all the power...If you go back to him, you're just reaffirming that he has the power to do whatever he wants to do.  Are you really going to hand over your lives and your children's lives to him?

I'll be keeping you in my prayers - and if you ever need anyone to talk to, know that I am here for you.

krista778
by on Dec. 15, 2008 at 2:20 PM

Ok let me tell you my story, it might help you. I am the second oldest of six(yes 6) my father is the bio father to us all. He is extremely abusive and a drug addict. My mother was with him for 25 years, that is a LONG time to be with someone like that. Any way my older sister and I had enough right before I turned 16 and told our mother we were leaving, taking all the kids and getting out. She freaked out and found a place to live within two days and we moved ALL our stuff in one day. We stayed in the same town but never went back and pretty much cut off all contact with him.

It was hard, but we all survived which we wouldn't have if we had stayed. I wish you all the best and stay strong, it can be done but will be hard. I hope this helps a bit. Good luck!

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