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I need as much advice as I can get....please help!!

Posted by on Dec. 15, 2008 at 2:59 PM
  • 26 Replies

Ok, I watch this little girl and her brother, they are 6 and 5.  ( i also have 3 kids ages 5,3 and 10 months and expecting our 4th in March)  Any way,  on occasion I have seen this little girl, rub her private area, and I kinda did a double take, and let it go.  This was going on for a couple of weeks.  I mentioned it to her mother and she blew it off, saying "well, sounds like she getting more action than me!!"  Which I couldn't believe.  Now recently, she has been taking the babys teethers and vibrating toys, and putting them on her private area, and I have even seen her gyrating on a foam baseball bat.  Weird I know.  I have taken her aside and asked her to please stop doing that in front of the other kids, or save it till she gets home, but it never fails, she will be sitting there watching TV and start again.'

Now I have a 5 year old, and of corse she found out if she touches herself there, it feels good.  My husband and I never discouraged it, we didn't want to embaress her, or make it seem like, it is a naughty thing to do.  We simply told her there is a time and place for it, and it is not when company is over. 

So do I bring it up to her mother again, and explain that she is now using objects?  Or am I over-reacting, it's a completely normal thing to do??  But at 5??  And to that extent??  Please help it is really starting to make me uncomfortable.

by on Dec. 15, 2008 at 2:59 PM
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by on Dec. 15, 2008 at 3:01 PM

I'd just remind her each time that she needs to stop and that is something for her to do alone at home. I'd ask the mother for her help in reminding her daughter to do it alone at home.

by on Dec. 15, 2008 at 3:02 PM

At 5 I would think it's normal but I would bring it up to mom. She needs to talk with her daughter, like you did, about when and where it's ok. This has to be ackward but if the wrong person sees her doing it, it could lead to more trouble. Good luck!

by on Dec. 15, 2008 at 3:03 PM

From what I've read it's totally normal at that age, but children need to be taught that it isn't something you do around other people, just like with your daughter. I think maybe you should try talking to her mom again.

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by Platinum Member on Dec. 15, 2008 at 3:03 PM

Could it be that she just has something like an infection or something.... I'm just trying to detour from anything that could indicate abuse or any sort...

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by on Dec. 15, 2008 at 3:03 PM

Sad thing is that the parent does not seem concerned.  If it is making you uncomfortable (which it would me) than I would mention to the mom that it is becoming an issue and the others are picking up in it.  It is also a health issue if she is placing these items on her privates.  I would be very stern with the mom on that.

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by on Dec. 15, 2008 at 3:04 PM

I think she probably has just discovered the joys of toys in a new way, and it will be a short-lived phase. It's not exactly sexual as in adult sexuality. It's not like she's thinking, "let me masturbate with this new vibrator!", it's more of an innocent "feels good" type of thing at that age, and totally normal and age appropriate.

by on Dec. 15, 2008 at 3:05 PM

My peditrician told me this story.

His 2 1/2 year old was in her car seat and when his wife got out of the car, walked around to the car seat to get her out, his daughter said, "i'm not done yet".  She didn't want out of the car seat, b/c she was pressing her vagina, in the diaper, up against the strap between her legs.  It felt good and she wanted it to continue.

I've been told its normal for them to explore. They forget until they are reaching puberty. 

by on Dec. 15, 2008 at 3:06 PM

Just keep reminding her and keep her mother informed. When my oldest son found it I swore he was going to pull it I told him not in public and not in front of other people.

by on Dec. 15, 2008 at 3:07 PM

it is very common at her agebut she needs to learn that it needs to go on in the bathroom, and also that the babys toys are the babys...

the moms response is unexcusable!!!

by on Dec. 15, 2008 at 3:07 PM

i would kindly remind the little one that its not a good thing to do in front of other people. i would keep an eye on her, at that age it shouldnt happen i dont think. seems kind of young. have you noticed her trying to do it to anyone else other kids or dolls while you are watching her? im trying to figure out what to do my daughter was 5 is 6 now and  touched (poked at my younger daughter) i ? her and she said her dad touched her, the next day said she was lying she just wanted him to go to prison for hitting mommy.... we are no longer together. i found this out after the separation. she said she was lying after saying something happend. so i dont know how to handle the situation. just be watchful.  good luck.

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