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feel rejected and ugly..PIOG

Posted by on Dec. 15, 2008 at 10:22 PM
  • 6 Replies

So let me start by saying that I have a low self esteem when it comes to my weight. I have retained almost 50 lbx. from my pregnancies and am not happy with my self.  That being said it seems like my husband isn't really attracted to me anymore.  He used to not be able to keep his hands off of me and now he NEVER wants to be intimate with me anymore.  He hardly ever is intimate with me maybe once or twice a month.  If I try to he will smack my hands away!  Well today I came home with the kids (from work) and I go in the bathroom to go pee and there is a porno in there. At first I was a little confused and he didn't know what to say but it quickly made sense what he was doing in the bathroom with the porno (it has all kinds of sex scenes on the back).  I don't mind him watching porno but I do mind when I am not good enough for him but some stupid movies and pictures will do it for him.  I don't know what to do. I feel rejected and hurt.   It would be one thing if he didn't turn me down and watched porn's but that's not the case.  I have asked him if he is still attracted to me and he always says "what kind of question is that?" or " don't be crazy" but never a yes or no and his behavior towards me never changes.  I don't know maybe I am overreacting.

 

Thanks for letting me vent!

by on Dec. 15, 2008 at 10:22 PM
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Replies (1-6):
momcat437
by on Dec. 15, 2008 at 10:27 PM

You know, beauty comes from within.  I could say "well, just lose weight!" but I know it's not that simple!  What you can do is to start a little at a time--maybe change your hairstyle, add a little make-up--anything that will make you feel just a little better about yourself.  When you feel good about yourself, you can't help make others feel good, too!  Maybe you can think of a few tricks in the bedroom that you haven't used in a while to get his mind back to where it should be!  The main thing is don't give up on yourself!  You're a beautiful lady, no matter what your weight, and you have to believe that, and once you do, the rest will come easily!  Good luck to you, mama, and God bless!  We love you!!

magenta2325
by on Dec. 15, 2008 at 10:29 PM

My advice is try to spice up the bedroom life! Send him dirty texts all day so he can't wait to come home. Add some naughty pics also. Call and talk dirty. Slip a note in his pocket, so when he finds it and reads it he is like whoa. Maybe look up a few new techniques online to try on him. As for the the magazine guys will be guys and pictures and videos is usually what does it for them they are visual beings. Thats why sending him dirty pics may get him thinking. Good Luck!!

PugBug_117
by on Dec. 15, 2008 at 10:31 PM

After he smacks your hands away do you just give up? Some guys like persistence and aggressiveness....my husband was just telling me today actually that I need to be more aggressive and that when he tells me no....he means yes.

pam228
by on Dec. 15, 2008 at 10:35 PM

at least he's nice about it. i'm sort of in your shoes,except my bf has no problem telling me how "nasty" i am. how he can't enjoy having sex with me,but it's fine if i get him off while he lays there and enjoys it. i just caught him watching young girls on youtube,he has no clue why i'm upset over it. in his eyes it's ok,because i don't turn him on. i've lost 15lbs,but he hasn't noticed,so it's like i'm just sitting around being lazy.

men just suck! too bad they weren't the ones that gained weight when we have babies. isn't it enough we have to carry the baby for 9 months,then go through the horrible pain of labor. lack of sleep for how long? now we get treated like sh** by the men we love,while they play the victim?! i give up!!!!!!

AGAMOMMY
by on Dec. 15, 2008 at 10:37 PM

I know how you are feeling I have been feeling the same way lately with my weight gain and with my looks,hubby hasn't been withholding sex or anything but my self esteem had started to hiyt rock bottom,but I started to go to the gym and make sure that no matter what I felt like I would put on something nice and do my hair and put on some makeup or just some lip gloss, and it really made me feel better about myself. Me and hubby started to have even more sex and would send each other text messages and I even sent him a little dirty video of myself and doing those little things has helped my self confidence alot. He probably feels that you are not happy with yourself and that is making him push you away because you are uncomfortable you are making him uncomfortable as well.

MixedCooke
by on Dec. 16, 2008 at 5:06 AM

Yep, my husband does that to me too!  Get your own toys if he wont satisfy you.

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