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Need advice Please on potentially suicidal ex

Posted by on Dec. 15, 2008 at 11:33 PM
  • 21 Replies

So my sons father is in prison, well because I put him there. He's an abusive asshole and before you continue to  read, I will NEVER give him another chance ever. BUT, he writes my son a letter once a week and I of course read it before putting it up for my son to make sure there is nothing I would never want my son to read.His fathers a dumbass like that and puts stupid stuff in letters. My son will be one next week.

So this weeks letter was a nice letter. I was very impressed. It was a birthday letter to my son, in which he was apologizing to my son for not being here for his 1st birthday, but then adds "I'll be there for the next one". and if all goes well, he will be out for the next one and if he continues counseling and such I may give in and tell my lawyer to go for supervised visits weekly, until further notice.

At the end of the letter, he adds another piece of paper addressed to me. I do not write him back. I have once and that was when he asked me a direct question about his son. He asked how Jayson's health has been. Jayson has asthma. So I wrote him back, one paragraph and told him how our sons health has been. The page at the end reads and I quote

"Michelle, How are you doing? I hope all is well. I wish you would write me and let me know how my son is doing and I'd like to know how you are doing as well. Are you seeing anyone? Is there any chance I can make things right? I love you and miss you so much! I am so sorry for everything I have put you and Jayson through. If you don't write me back, I'm just going to end it all! I can't live my life without you. You mean everytihng to me. The anniversary of my moms death is the 29th. 5 years. If you don't write me back, I'm going to do it that day. My mom was the only one that loved me, so I'm going to go be with her, unless you really do love me. Please tell me you still love me. I will not continue my life without you."

So here's my dilema.. as much as I hate him, I don't think anyone should commit suicide. No one should die before their time IMO.So on one hand I want to call the prison and have them put him on suicide watch he is bi-polar schizophranic. On the other hand I don't think he'll really do it, but I want to write his ass back and tell him not to make my son empty promises if he's going to kill himself just do it already. That's how pissed off he has me.

What would you do??

by on Dec. 15, 2008 at 11:33 PM
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Replies (1-10):
by Gold Member on Dec. 15, 2008 at 11:36 PM

It is his form of controlling you. Call the prison, even tho they are supposed to monitor mail they may have missed that. And leave it at that. It is not your fault or responsibilty to care for him anymore.



Proud Wife to Michael & Proud Mom to "Tank", Airen, & Chase

by on Dec. 15, 2008 at 11:37 PM

Honestly, I think I would inform the head honcho at the facility he is at. They have a right to know, considering he is in their care. Then after all that is said and done, I would have choice words for him regarding my child.

by on Dec. 15, 2008 at 11:37 PM

I would just call the prison.

He is probably trying to suck you into being with him again.

Goodluck to you and your son, you seem like a strong woman:)

by on Dec. 15, 2008 at 11:38 PM

I have no advice for you.  I'm kinda clueless.  So here's a bump.


by on Dec. 15, 2008 at 11:39 PM

if you think he will do it then you need to call the classification supervisor at the prison hes at. they will be able to assess what to do after that.

by on Dec. 15, 2008 at 11:39 PM

this is emotional blackmail. if you are honestly concerned he might do something call the prison they can deal with it. You take care of you. dont be sucked in its only a manipulation

by on Dec. 15, 2008 at 11:39 PM

If he was serious about suicide he wouldn't tell you, this is probably more of a threat/ lashing out hoping to get a response form you.  I would let the prison know, he could make an attempt (call for attention) that could be dangerous.  I wouldn't respond to him about it any more then you usually do or you reward the behavior.



by on Dec. 15, 2008 at 11:40 PM

I know it can happen, but the jail has pretty good supervision!!!!

ALSO it sounds a little dramatic, howabout his son, has he even given HIM a chance to LOVE him??? I would write him back and tell him he needs to get his head checked he has a child now and needs to act like a father, tell him you cannot and will not forgive him, I am about 95% positive he wont do it, but do NOT play into it, that will be a lifelong thing for you to deal with if you do, do not act like you care ONE BIT!!!!

My sons' dad calls me all the time and tells me he is going to kill himself, his brother did kill himself when he was 19 and since my ex is a pisspoor excuse for a father, and a worthless excuse for a man, he always tried to play on my emotions, I wont say he never attempts it because he does, but ONLY enough to get attention, never enough to die......

CALL THE JAIL, tell them that you have a potential suicide letter, and want to get him help, they are able to intercede!!!!


Good Luck!

by on Dec. 15, 2008 at 11:42 PM

i would call the prison and let them know about it but i wouldnt write him back, i think that it could just be a ploy so that you start talking to him again....i would be pissed too if he wrote a letter to my son saying that he will be there for his next b-day and then write to me and tell me that hes going to kill himself if i dont write him back....i wouldnt write him back unless it has to do with your son....

by on Dec. 15, 2008 at 11:42 PM

call the prison and tell them. He is probably lonely and wanting to manipulate you do not fall for it...

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