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I Think I Made a BIG Mistake

Posted by on Dec. 17, 2008 at 9:50 AM
  • 16 Replies

I was a SAHM for almost a year....I just started working 2 weeks ago full time. We were getting by money wise, but extra income helps out a lot especially with the cost of everything rising. Plus I thought having some adult interaction would be great. I think I made a mistake though. I really hate being away from my daughter and only seeing her a few hours a day. It's killing me. My family watches her so I know she's well taken care of, but I want to be the one taking care of her. I really want to quit my job and stay at home until she's in school. But I can't quit...this is a good job and I don't want to make them mad and have a bad reference for the future when I do get another job. Plus everyone will see me as a failure. I don't want to let anyone down.

Has anyone else gone back to work and then quit to be a SAHM again? Or am I just nuts. I really miss my baby. I know everyone says I'll get used to it, but I don't want to get used to it. I want to be with her.

 



 

I Married My High School Sweetheart!

by on Dec. 17, 2008 at 9:50 AM
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Replies (1-10):
nikkikry
by on Dec. 17, 2008 at 9:52 AM

Please ladies...I need advice.

 



 

I Married My High School Sweetheart!

Denecia
by Gold Member on Dec. 17, 2008 at 9:53 AM

I got a job at nights only part time but I hated the fact that I wasnt the last person my dd saw at night. So I quit I just told them that  my dd was more imporant and they understood. I dont think I will go back to work until she goes to school. It breaks my heart to leave her. Good luck and just do what you think feels right.

MikeysMom51108
by on Dec. 17, 2008 at 9:56 AM

You need to do what's right for you and your family, without worrying about what other people are going to think.

Quitting to be a SAHM does not make you a loser. A lot of women (myself included) just don't have "what it takes" to be a SAHM. It's a harder job than anywhere you could be working, though I'm sure you know that.

Also, your employer cannot give yo ua bad reference in the future. Even if you walked out of there today with no notice--they are not legally allowed to give a bad reference. They can refuse to answer questions, but they cannot flat out tell a future employer that you were a bad worker or anything like that. If you are going to quit though, give them 2 weeks notice, it's just the proper thing to do.

Good luck mama!

Wistful
by on Dec. 17, 2008 at 9:56 AM

What about just working part time? Maybe in the mornings or afternoon?
I would talk to your boss and let them know the trouble you are having with the transition and see if they can work with you. Good Luck!

Lilypie Breastfeeding Ticker

pam228
by on Dec. 17, 2008 at 9:57 AM

why not give it a few more weeks,see if it gets better,if not then quit.(make sure your so is ok with your decision)

amymarie0315
by on Dec. 17, 2008 at 9:59 AM

I agree with this completely!

Quoting MikeysMom51108:

You need to do what's right for you and your family, without worrying about what other people are going to think.

Quitting to be a SAHM does not make you a loser. A lot of women (myself included) just don't have "what it takes" to be a SAHM. It's a harder job than anywhere you could be working, though I'm sure you know that.

Also, your employer cannot give yo ua bad reference in the future. Even if you walked out of there today with no notice--they are not legally allowed to give a bad reference. They can refuse to answer questions, but they cannot flat out tell a future employer that you were a bad worker or anything like that. If you are going to quit though, give them 2 weeks notice, it's just the proper thing to do.

Good luck mama!


nikkikry
by on Dec. 17, 2008 at 10:01 AM

I planned on only working part time when I started looking for a job...but then I came across this job in the paper and it is the perfect job for me and the pay is pretty decent, but it's full time. I pretty much got the job hands down. I wasn't ready for full time though. I think I could completely handle a part time job....but they need a full time person where I work. The only part time jobs I've seen around here are pretty much fast food and restaurants.

Quoting Wistful:

What about just working part time? Maybe in the mornings or afternoon?
I would talk to your boss and let them know the trouble you are having with the transition and see if they can work with you. Good Luck!


 



 

I Married My High School Sweetheart!

jaycee1124
by on Dec. 17, 2008 at 10:03 AM

My advice would be that you set a date that is a bit in the future but not too far out and stick with it until that date. At that point re-evaluate. Have you settled into a routine that allows you time with your daughter and to work? Are you still struggling? How are you emotionally? Financially? Determine if you should continue working or start staying home again. If you're going to stay home be sure you give your two weeks notice...you don't want to burn that bridge!

nikkikry
by on Dec. 17, 2008 at 10:04 AM

My hubby already knows that I'm unhappy being away from dd all day long, but he doesn't understand since he's been working from the beginning. He doesn't get that I really miss her. Plus he knows we need some extra money to get by. If I could find a decent part time job before quitting then he might not be so against it.

Quoting pam228:

why not give it a few more weeks,see if it gets better,if not then quit.(make sure your so is ok with your decision)


 



 

I Married My High School Sweetheart!

PurpleNurples
by on Dec. 17, 2008 at 10:05 AM

I feel your pain!  I recently went back to work after approx.  12 yrs. of being a SAHM.  I have to say, it sucks!  I cried and cried, and felt like such a horrible person, and still do sometimes.  I was working full time, but cut back to 2and a half days a week.  I also have family waching my 2 yr. old, and picking my 5yr. old up at school.  I know that this is hard, but you will get in a routine, and it will get easier.  Now, I look forward to going to work, and it has given me a sense of self worth.  I feel like I am teaching my children that there is nothing wrong with hard work.  I wish I knew what to say, b/c I know exactly what you are going through.  You get home, and still have to do all the same BS housework, when all you really want to do is sit on the sofa and love on your baby.  You feel like someone else is raising your children, and that somehow in the midst of all of this, you are going to disappear from your children's hearts.  But, you start to see that there are more hours in the day than you really knew, and the time you do get is sacred.  Don't forget Mama, that things change every day. Who knows what tomorrow will bring!  Nothing will ever change the fact that you are her mother!  ((hugs))

flying bunny

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