Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

how do you know? rape subject involved.

Posted by on Dec. 17, 2008 at 10:33 AM
  • 11 Replies

So i'll try not to make this to long. Just real recently I have had the feeling that I was molested when I was younger. My dad was dating this lady and she had 3 boys. The 3 boys and my brother were all older then me. I just really remember being at her house in one of the boys room and I remember the older boy fingering me. I was only like 12. I know my brother was in the room as well as all the other boys. I know nobody stopped it, I don't know my feelings about it at the time. I know i've always gravitated towards whatever guy likes me. I was never choosy and I slept around a lot. I lost my virginity at 14 got pregnant when I was 15 and I really feel like it all stemmed out from this. I am like 90% sure this happened. I don't know why I never talked about it or thought about it before now. Anyway what do I do? Anything? How do I find out what really happened? Does it really matter anymore? How do I talk to my brother when I have theses feelings. Does he remember what happened? I just don't know.

by on Dec. 17, 2008 at 10:33 AM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
ganfield_c
by on Dec. 17, 2008 at 10:35 AM

as a guy he probably wont remember, though he could i wold ask. as for not remembering, you brain probably blocked it out being a traumatic experience and something could have triggered it. i would maybe see someone about this and see what happens.  good luck sweetie

 twin girls  expecting baby

Faia
by on Dec. 17, 2008 at 10:38 AM

i believe u when u say it happened. becaused when i turned 19 and moved away from my mom i started dreaming about my stepfather touching me. so i know u not making it up. yes it has happened and u should just ask your brother to see if he know or remember it it wont hurt to ask. but he might have suppressed that memory just like u did.

Justina Faiatattoo

jaycee1124
by on Dec. 17, 2008 at 10:39 AM

Step 1 - talk to a therapist. Follow professional advice from there on out as to how to handle it and talk to him about it.

Sirenabella
by on Dec. 17, 2008 at 10:42 AM

Sometimes we forget or block things that are too traumatic for us to deal with. Even if later we try to rationalize it as sounding too simple. Then something can happen to trigger the memory. Anything. Could have been something very small. I would suggest finding some sort of therapy/counseling to talk about it (if you want to) and see if you can bring it into clear focus so that you can move through it and deal with it fully.

ribbons4curls
by on Dec. 17, 2008 at 10:45 AM

yea I just don't know if it even matters. All the damage was done during my teenage years.  That's when I let it all go. I no longer sleep around I am married. My dh and I have an ok sexlife. So I dont know if I really want to bring it all back up I just can't stop thinking what if my brother was involved? Ew. Or what really happened? Did something more happen? Idk. Guess I got some thinking to do if this is worth reliving or not.

Faia
by on Dec. 17, 2008 at 10:46 AM

what if u have no money i mean who do u talk to then? i try to talk to everyone about it because it feels better getting the whole thing out and shedding some light to a dark situation

Quoting Sirenabella:

Sometimes we forget or block things that are too traumatic for us to deal with. Even if later we try to rationalize it as sounding too simple. Then something can happen to trigger the memory. Anything. Could have been something very small. I would suggest finding some sort of therapy/counseling to talk about it (if you want to) and see if you can bring it into clear focus so that you can move through it and deal with it fully.


Justina Faiatattoo

jaycee1124
by on Dec. 17, 2008 at 10:49 AM

Contact your local social services board or mental health board...they'll be able to direct you to free or low cost counseling.

Quoting Faia:

what if u have no money i mean who do u talk to then? i try to talk to everyone about it because it feels better getting the whole thing out and shedding some light to a dark situation


diana1481
by Bronze Member on Dec. 17, 2008 at 10:51 AM

I am so sorry you had to go through that. My 15 year old niece was molested by her own father. She slept around and now is almost 4 months pregnant. Those kinds of things can mess you up.  You should talk to a therapist, so it doesn't come back to affect your marriage.


sweetbabylogan
by on Dec. 17, 2008 at 10:54 AM

when i was younger i really liked this boy in my neighborhood. well i was riding my bike around trying to find him. and as i was headed towards the end of the road i see another neighbor boy running as fast as he could down to the creek. when i got down there i saw the most disgusting thing- i will never forget it. the boy i liked was sitting on top of my little sister- she was 11 at the time- with his penis in her mouth. she was screaming and crying trying to get him off of her. i only saw it for a second before the other boy tackled him and started beating on him. he ended up getting sent away. and we found out it has happened before with other girls. my sister DOES NOT remember it at all. she doesn't even remember that boy period. it was so traumatizing- her brain completely blocked it out. as a teenager i had some awful things happen to me as well. i'm not as lucky as my sister though- i remember every detail and i will never forget them. i'm sorry you've has these memories come back to you. i hope you get them sorted out and can put them behind you.

ribbons4curls
by on Dec. 17, 2008 at 11:01 AM

I don't even know how I would tell my husband I was going to go see a therapist because I thought this happened when I was 12. I just wouldn't even know about starting that conversation.

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)