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Would she really hurt my son? *maybe don't read around your kids*

Posted by on Dec. 17, 2008 at 11:24 AM
  • 22 Replies

My husband is very wary of my grandmother because she's said some things that unnerved him. When my son was born she was giving us all kinds of advice about how to take care of him and stuff, just trying to be helpful but it really made him worry. Mainly it was stuff like when we give him a bath we should pull his foreskin back to clean it (which I know you're not supposed to do). At first I thought it was just her being old because she gave her son up for adoption so she didn't have him very long and maybe that's what they did back then. But then he told me how she would talk about how babies can get an erection and how when she bathed her son while she had him he would brush against her and get and erection. It really does sound wierd to me. For one why does she feel the need to say this stuff? Now, she looked after me every day for the first three years of my life and I'm pretty darn sure she never did anything to me, but my husband refuses to let her be alone with our son. And he DEFINITELY won't let her change him. She get her feelings hurt easily and it's hard trying to come up with excuses not to let her babysit him. Now that we're both working we leave our son with my Mom and then my Grandmother comes up to her house to see him. We did taht because then my Mom could watch her and make sure she didn't do anything (even though I still don't think she would). He won't even let me put diaper cream in the diaper bag because he doesn't want her touching him if she changes him (since we can't help that cause he can't stay in one diaper all day). I understand his concern but even though everything she says sounds creepy I want to think it's just her being old and not knowing what's appropiate information. Still, what if he's right? I hate thinking this about my grandmother.

by on Dec. 17, 2008 at 11:24 AM
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Replies (1-10):
necro1134
by on Dec. 17, 2008 at 11:27 AM

i honestly just think its her being old..the erection thing is true though, so it may sound weird but maybe in a way she was just letting you know so you wouldnt feel weird about it? i have no idea, but i dont think she would do anything to your son.

Robbin74
by on Dec. 17, 2008 at 11:29 AM

bump

AFWifeNMom
by on Dec. 17, 2008 at 11:29 AM

I could be just an over protective fatehrly thing, but it could be a parents instinct. I would say that you should respect your husbands wishes. Maybe you could talk to your Grandmother about the things she says. I know you said that her feelings get hurt, but what is more important in this case?

whiteprincess2k
by on Dec. 17, 2008 at 11:31 AM


Quoting necro1134:

i honestly just think its her being old..the erection thing is true though, so it may sound weird but maybe in a way she was just letting you know so you wouldnt feel weird about it? i have no idea, but i dont think she would do anything to your son.



mommy_of-2
by on Dec. 17, 2008 at 11:32 AM

Okay I have boys and they both get erections sometimes....That is normal.  If a big boy can why would you think that little ones don't.  The first time I did call my son's doc and was like what is the matter with him...He giggled and told me....I don't know about the foreskin thing for babies but why wouldn't you clean under it?  I worked in and elderly home as a CNA and I always did for the men with foreskin...I just made sure it went back in place when i was done...otherwise it got stinky and a white gunk...Even my youngest gets that white gunk and he is circumcised...If I don't pull back and wash where he his baby fat covers...I think she was just trying to be helpful...

MyBelovedOnes
by on Dec. 17, 2008 at 11:36 AM

The foreskin does not retract on babies.  It needs to be left alone until it naturally detaches which is usually near puberty.  Of course a grown man has to clean under it (or in your case, you had to do it) but that is because he is grown.  If you force the skin back, you can cause serious problems.  If you have not already, check out the Raising Intact Boys group for more info.

Quoting mommy_of-2:

Okay I have boys and they both get erections sometimes....That is normal.  If a big boy can why would you think that little ones don't.  The first time I did call my son's doc and was like what is the matter with him...He giggled and told me....I don't know about the foreskin thing for babies but why wouldn't you clean under it?  I worked in and elderly home as a CNA and I always did for the men with foreskin...I just made sure it went back in place when i was done...otherwise it got stinky and a white gunk...Even my youngest gets that white gunk and he is circumcised...If I don't pull back and wash where he his baby fat covers...I think she was just trying to be helpful...


dragonfly24
by on Dec. 17, 2008 at 11:38 AM

I think she was just trying to maybe let you know things you might not have thought of. Yes you really do need to pull back the foreskin and clean the area cause urine and powder and diaper rash cream can get in there and cause all sorts of problems. I have two boys and yes even little bitty newborns get erections they can't help it. I think she was just letting you know that because it may have freaked her out and she wanted to save you the freak out. I don't think she is going to do anything to your son. I think she was just trying to be a help.

TIA(31)  DH(38) T-MAN (10) T-BONE (5) LAYLA BUG 08-25-2008!!!!


mommytiffini
by on Dec. 17, 2008 at 11:38 AM

that is an awful assumption to make about your grandmother. but you never know, some people are sickos. when my son was circumcised the doc told me to fold the skin back to clean it. i didn't want to hurt him, so i didn't really clean that area too much. but when i took him to the doctor to check, she pulled the skin back and he had an infection, so i agree that you need to keep it clean, atleast while they are new born and the circumcision is new.  and yes, little baby boys do get erections that is totally normal. i think your grandmother was just warning you. it can be akward especially if you haven't been around too many baby boys before. if you are worried, invest in some nanny cams or something.

bastianmami
by on Dec. 17, 2008 at 11:43 AM

My dh comes from a family that has had molester's in it so I am a little overprotective myself. I think it is good to be cautious and you should trust your husbands instincts. Don't just brush away what he is saying.




"Real isn't how you are made," said the Skin Horse. "It's a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become real."
                                                                                  -The Velveteen Rabbit.
                       

marina069
by on Dec. 17, 2008 at 11:46 AM

i don't really know, hopefully she wouldn't hurt him, but i have to agree with your husband, so what if he is being overly cautious, that's what parents are supposed to do, better to be overly cautious and paranoid than something happen to your baby, i'm sorry if this is harsh but i think your husband is right

Lauri, mommy to 2 princesses

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