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My husband signed up to go back to Iraq!

Posted by on Dec. 17, 2008 at 6:13 PM
  • 49 Replies

Last night when we were going back to bed my husband told me that he had put in to go back to Iraq a couple days earlier. Now mind you I had NO clue he was going to do this. I mean he mentioned it like once before, and I asked him if he was serious and he said "no, not really" and he didn't bring it up again. So I'm pretty upset that he made this decision without even talking to me. His excuse is for the money, but I know we're not doing bad financially. Yes we may not Porsche's lining the front of our mansion, but we live pretty well. We don't have problem with bills or anything like that. Even if an emergency comes up we have plenty of savings. So why for the money? That cannot be the reason.

As mad as I am at him I'm actually becoming more and more worried about his state of mind. He won't talk about what happened over there. I know he came extremely close to dying a couple times because his friends who were over there told me. But other than that I know NOTHING. I've asked him to go to a therapist if he can't talk to me. Personally I don't care who he talks to, just as long as he's talking! I don't think going over there again is going to solve any of his problems that's for sure.

Sorry to vent on you all. I never did this before but I made a vent awhile back in a post and a woman told me to vent to ya'll anytime I wanted so I decided to just do that. I need some positive encouragement right now. This is just so much. He's gone so much. I don't want him gone another year especially when he's like this. And we were trying to have another baby so this is even worse because I don't want to go through another pregnancy well he's in Iraq. I'm actually hoping now that I'm not pregnant. He just got home on Halloween and I thought we'd have all this time for our family. Now I feel like I'm just waiting for my time to end.

Who needs Ken? I have a GI Joe!

 

by on Dec. 17, 2008 at 6:13 PM
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Replies (1-10):
21noahsmama21
by on Dec. 17, 2008 at 6:19 PM

OMG, no wonder you're upset!  It's scary enough when they get sent over, but to volunteer?  Wow.  I mean, I'm thankful for what he does, my husband's a soldier too, and I'm glad that he feels the drive to serve our country that he obviously loves.  But I can't imagine my husband ever signing up to go over there without at least TELLING me first.  And you are right, there may be some underlying psychological thing going on in his head.  Not that he is crazy, I'm not saying that at all, but I don't know.  It just seems strange to me that he wouldn't talk to you about it first before signing up to go back, and that in combination of him not saying anything about what went on over there is also cause for concern.   I don't know what really to tell you, other than to maybe try to talk to him more about it.  Be cautious, and nice about it.  And if he doesn't want to, don't force the issue.  Maybe dealing w/ things for him means to completely clam up about it.  Maybe he doesn't want to worry you, and it's easier to forget things that happen if you don't talk about it, ya know?  Good luck hun and MANY hugs coming your way!!!

Megan214
by Bronze Member on Dec. 17, 2008 at 6:19 PM

I'm sorry. My DH is a SPC in the Army. It sucks sometimes. Good luck and ALWAYS vent when you need to. good luck

sunshinemommy08
by on Dec. 17, 2008 at 6:21 PM

Thank you so much for that advice and encouragment! And I definitely needed some hugs! Thanks :)

Quoting 21noahsmama21:

OMG, no wonder you're upset!  It's scary enough when they get sent over, but to volunteer?  Wow.  I mean, I'm thankful for what he does, my husband's a soldier too, and I'm glad that he feels the drive to serve our country that he obviously loves.  But I can't imagine my husband ever signing up to go over there without at least TELLING me first.  And you are right, there may be some underlying psychological thing going on in his head.  Not that he is crazy, I'm not saying that at all, but I don't know.  It just seems strange to me that he wouldn't talk to you about it first before signing up to go back, and that in combination of him not saying anything about what went on over there is also cause for concern.   I don't know what really to tell you, other than to maybe try to talk to him more about it.  Be cautious, and nice about it.  And if he doesn't want to, don't force the issue.  Maybe dealing w/ things for him means to completely clam up about it.  Maybe he doesn't want to worry you, and it's easier to forget things that happen if you don't talk about it, ya know?  Good luck hun and MANY hugs coming your way!!!


Who needs Ken? I have a GI Joe!

 

sunshinemommy08
by on Dec. 17, 2008 at 6:21 PM

Thanks :)

Quoting Megan214:

I'm sorry. My DH is a SPC in the Army. It sucks sometimes. Good luck and ALWAYS vent when you need to. good luck


Who needs Ken? I have a GI Joe!

 

courtcecil
by on Dec. 17, 2008 at 6:26 PM

Hi, I am sorry to hear about your dh. I am an AF wife and my dh is going on his 3rd deployment over there in Feb. He will only be gone for 8 months but that seems like an eternity so I feel for you.

I do not know how the Army works but don't they have to be home a certain amount of time before they can go again? Even volunteer? I was under the impression (could be wrong) that they had to be home for some minimum time. I thought it was as long as their last deployment. For instance, if he was gone for a year he had to be home a year?

I realize that even if that is the case - a year is not long enough... My dh does not talk about many of the things that happen over there either. I did not even find out he won a medal until I found it accidently when we were moving...

I hope that something happens that keeps him from going so that he can be home with his family. Good Luck!

4cuteboys
by on Dec. 17, 2008 at 6:27 PM

Mine volunteered too this time, but we talked about it and i agreed, he'd never do it though without me being okay with it, but it still sucks just the same. it helped us out financially though, we got a $2500 grant with him going this time. im sorry. times are tough. iraq is scary.. hugs to you! it will get better

RmeWifey01
by on Dec. 17, 2008 at 6:30 PM

Sorry to hear he has a soft spot for that place. Does he feel he has some sort of unfinished biz over there? The good news is if he just got home on halloween then he has to stay put until at least the end of January whther he likes it or not b/c there is a 90 day stabilazation rule. Hopefully that gives you some time to talk him out of it. Also, if you suspect he is suffering from PTSD then go talk to his CO or BC and let them know so they can order him to go to counseling before returning to that warzone. He will, no doubt, be tourked that you wentover his head but hopefully he will see it as beneficial to both his family and himself. My hubby volunteers for these death-wish-missions too so don't feel alone. Mine got back in Oct. '06 and we pcs'd here to NYS on Nov.30/06, and he was with his new unit maybe until Feb. '07 when he volunteered to go to Afghanistan for 6 more mths. So yeah, don't feel like you are the only one!!!

sunshinemommy08
by on Dec. 17, 2008 at 6:36 PM

Yeah that's what he said. He wouldn't leave until at least January. I'm scared though that since he volunteered if he changes his mind it'll be too late. Can he back out of it in a couple of weeks? Or is he now in a position that he WILL go if they need him to go.

Quoting RmeWifey01:

Sorry to hear he has a soft spot for that place. Does he feel he has some sort of unfinished biz over there? The good news is if he just got home on halloween then he has to stay put until at least the end of January whther he likes it or not b/c there is a 90 day stabilazation rule. Hopefully that gives you some time to talk him out of it. Also, if you suspect he is suffering from PTSD then go talk to his CO or BC and let them know so they can order him to go to counseling before returning to that warzone. He will, no doubt, be tourked that you wentover his head but hopefully he will see it as beneficial to both his family and himself. My hubby volunteers for these death-wish-missions too so don't feel alone. Mine got back in Oct. '06 and we pcs'd here to NYS on Nov.30/06, and he was with his new unit maybe until Feb. '07 when he volunteered to go to Afghanistan for 6 more mths. So yeah, don't feel like you are the only one!!!


Who needs Ken? I have a GI Joe!

 

sunshinemommy08
by on Dec. 17, 2008 at 6:38 PM

From what I understand about the army it's six months to go to another country (besides the one you're at) but anywhere after 90 days for going back to the same place.

I could be wrong on that, but that's what I was told.

Quoting courtcecil:

Hi, I am sorry to hear about your dh. I am an AF wife and my dh is going on his 3rd deployment over there in Feb. He will only be gone for 8 months but that seems like an eternity so I feel for you.

I do not know how the Army works but don't they have to be home a certain amount of time before they can go again? Even volunteer? I was under the impression (could be wrong) that they had to be home for some minimum time. I thought it was as long as their last deployment. For instance, if he was gone for a year he had to be home a year?

I realize that even if that is the case - a year is not long enough... My dh does not talk about many of the things that happen over there either. I did not even find out he won a medal until I found it accidently when we were moving...

I hope that something happens that keeps him from going so that he can be home with his family. Good Luck!


Who needs Ken? I have a GI Joe!

 

sunshinemommy08
by on Dec. 17, 2008 at 6:38 PM

Thank you so much!

Quoting 4cuteboys:

Mine volunteered too this time, but we talked about it and i agreed, he'd never do it though without me being okay with it, but it still sucks just the same. it helped us out financially though, we got a $2500 grant with him going this time. im sorry. times are tough. iraq is scary.. hugs to you! it will get better


Who needs Ken? I have a GI Joe!

 

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