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Men and money

Posted by on Jan. 2, 2009 at 2:38 AM
  • 4 Replies

Why are some men so obsessed with controlling the money? Mine goes is spurts and being that he is the sole provider for now I am ignoring him and his rants because it is not worth it to me to argue with him about it anymore.  I am  cleaning houses for some money. But he can get on these kicks about how he wants the bills paid a certain way and $100 a week should go far at the grocery store, etc., and be such a tight wad!  Moeny is truly extremely tight as it probably is for many other families so , according to his best friend since they were 4, this is Lee's way of handling his stress about it.  I swear I wish I owned an iron skillet sometimes. The thing is that 9 months ago when he made better money he had no problem with me having moeny to spend,etc. Now we are squeaking by and he is 2 weeks away from being jobless literally so I am guessing that he is just stressed about that and trying to make what is in the bank stretch.  I just get annoyed and resentful at his attitude over  money and the power he thinks he has.  I do not know why he thinks money makes him a man, Because when you die no one says "Oh, he was a great man of $35, 000 a year" or anything about that.  No one cares  about how much money you have in your pockets and I just think he is being ridiculous and while I have talked to him about it (which leads to him acting like he is about 12) I am just baffled because I know of a handful of other men that think this same way.   Yes we need money to live but controlling it doesn't make you God and it certainly doesn't make your s/o respect you.  Money is so the root of all evils. In my opinion he can be quite greedy.  When he goes back OTR because that is going to be about the only option, he has to leave money for bills and groceries.  We have no joint account because we had separate accounts and I closed mine after I stopped working the last time.  Not the brightest, I know. I have also made very poor choices in the past as far as a certain tax return used as a shopping spree and having to make a double house payment ONE TIME and he will never let me forget that. I was much younger and I wish I could get a do over but he is  not more responsible with money. Not when we get shut-off notices in the mail. Since he wants that power, I just hand him the bills and pray he gets them paid. At 35 heshould be able to remember when other bills besides the house payment are due.  I think he resents me being at home.  Maybe so but daycare is too high and his scehdule rotates so much from days to nights to being sent out of state (to install blinds, etc., at colleges) that I would be lucky to find something flexible and while my youngest is in the school system's prek it is 3 hours a day 4 days a week. I have to be there to get himon and off the bus and i have no back up help around so he can just suck it up for a little longer sicne the kids are mainly for me to worry about.

simple smileJane  aka Mamaford2

by on Jan. 2, 2009 at 2:38 AM
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by Ruby Member on Jan. 2, 2009 at 2:42 AM

hes just controlling it sounds like. if it werent for the money, it would be something else.


by on Jan. 2, 2009 at 2:50 AM

He does sound controlling.

I handle the bills for our house, as far as what is due-when-how much...I budget the paychecks according to the bills that are due, so I know that "X" amount of the check goes to "X, Y, and Z" bills, we have "X" for groceries, and "X" leftover for gas, DH's lunches, other odd expenses. If DH controlled everything--we would have no power, no water, no phones, and probably evicted. We use eachother's strengths to our advantage, and my budgeting the money is the best thing for our family. We also have the mindset that it is OUR money, regardless that HE is the one who works--it is OUR family, and I take care of the home front.

by on Jan. 2, 2009 at 2:57 AM


Lucky me, I get to handle everything. I am head of the household, and everything is in my name. My fiance doesn't even care! I think he feels like it's a weight lifted off of his shoulders. lol

He gives me friendly reminders of what needs to be paid, because I have forgotten. That works out pretty well for me.

by on Jan. 2, 2009 at 2:58 AM

Hey I feel you sister. My SO is exactly the same way. It makes me freaking insane!!! We had a joint account at one time and I used some of it to pay "my" bills and he freaked and closed the account. I have bills that haven't been paid for years and collection people call me all of the time. He just laughs about it and tells me to get a job. =-(  He doesn't appreciate me at all.I have seriously thought of divorcing him on many occasions because of this issue.

I feel that marriage is an all for one and one for all deal and being petty with money just breakes down the system.

Anyway...don't feel alone. If you ever need to chat please feel free to e-mail me. Try to hang in there until you are ready to make the big changes that you need to make to be happy. You count and you deserve all good things.  =-)

Love and light to you...

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