Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Hubby problems.. HELP...

Posted by on Jan. 2, 2009 at 11:20 AM
  • 16 Replies

For those of you who do not know my name is Hannah I'm 19 and I have a 8 month old baby boy and em expecting baby #2. My hubby for almost two years now decided to tell me at some 3AM he's not in love with me anymore. He says I'm an awesome mom and wife and that he doesn't know why the fire has went out. I'm sooooo broken and lost. I would have never thought this would ever happen. I have put my all into this marriage and now what do I do. All I can do is cry and cry and cry. I have nobody I can talk to. When we went to bed after 6 AM he decides he wants to make love, uh of course I didn't. My hubby just told me that he loved me but was not in love with me why in the world would I want to make love. I told him NO and that I no longer feel like I'm apart of him no longer his wife and it's killing me. He turned his back and said I love you and then tried again.. What do I do? I still think he's in love with me deep down. I think he's just stressed out money wise. IDK or am I trying to come up with every excuse possible because I love him with all of my heart. but how can I love someone so much that doesn't even love me back. Sorry if there's typo's but I can't really see cause my eyes are just way too watery. I need some advice bad. Someone help please...

by on Jan. 2, 2009 at 11:20 AM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
fl_girl
by on Jan. 2, 2009 at 11:24 AM

oh hun im sooooo sorry. i wish i could help you. i know your hurt and upset right now but try sitting down with him asd ask him why and what changed? have an adult conversation. ask him about marriage counsling. if you want to talk mp me and i wll give my reg email address

                  hugs

godsgirl26
by ♥Char2theMaine♥ on Jan. 2, 2009 at 11:27 AM

sorry this is happening u to yall should sit down and talk communation is the key if u ever need to talk just message me stay strong girly and stay postive fight for your marriage.hugs

awmw06
by on Jan. 2, 2009 at 11:28 AM

I'm so sorry hon. I know that hurts. Sit down with him and talk to him. Tell him how you're feeling, and ask him why? You at least have that right, to know why....If you need to talk, just let me know. pm me. I'll be here. I know you're hurting. and right now, you need to talk. keep your mind off of it if you can. try to keep busy, or watch comedy shows or something. so sorry mama. let me know if you need me. hugs.

in loveholding balloons

mferruz
by on Jan. 2, 2009 at 11:31 AM

Love changes over time.  It isn't going to stay the way it was when you first met (at least not for most people).  He is probably having a hard time adjusting to ups and downs of marriage including the emotional aspect.  I always say that my H and I have upswing and downswings.  During an upswing we are very connected and things are very similar to how they were when were dating.  In a downswing we are more involved in other aspects of our lives, we know we are still committed to each other, but for whatever reason *we* are not a priority to ourselves and our connection is more of co-parents then lovers.  It took us awhile to get used to fact that marriage isn't easy and you don't always feel "in love".  I think counseling would be good idea if he would go.

Hugs to you!

LisaNKen
by on Jan. 2, 2009 at 11:32 AM

If my husband told me that I would help him pack his bag and get out!!! No sleeping with me sex or not! It means he has someone else but is using you for convenience.  Of course I would cry and be heart broken, but I would not let that ruin my self esteem.  You are better than that I am sure. 

expecting boynurse

mommy228
by on Jan. 2, 2009 at 11:34 AM

maybe you could just talk to him and suggest that you guys go to a marriage counseler. my hubby and i did it when we thought we should just give up and it really really helped us. we are now more in love than ever :) maybe just tell him that you love him so much and that you want to be able to say you tried everything to make it work. if you can just get him to try it it could really help you. If you have any questions shoot me a message! i'd be more than happy to talk about what my hubby andi went though and how the councelling worked :)

Good luck honey, i hope it all works out for you and i wish you the best!


Tylersmum06
by on Jan. 2, 2009 at 11:34 AM

In about 2 weeks it will be a year since my DH told me that. I asked him why being very sensitive and compassionate with him and he proceeded to tell me that there was someone else. Now mind you I had miscarried about a month prior to him telling me this and then he was laid off from his job right around this time. i don't know if that is the case with ya'll or not, but my dh and I went to counseling and I took him to court for custody of our DS and since then he hasn't even looked at another female unless they are family.(At least not around me) I would say sit down and talk to him about it I am here if you need to talk, as I have already been through this. I'm very sorry, but sometimes men are just stupid and don't realize what they have till its gone! Good luck momma!

mommy228
by on Jan. 2, 2009 at 11:36 AM

i don't think thats true. it sounds to me like life is stressing him out. sounds just like what i went through. and the only thing he can think of to get out of the stressful situation is to get out of the marriage because in  his mind thats whats causing it. he's probably scared and doesnt know what else will work. Counselling could help with this.

Quoting LisaNKen:

If my husband told me that I would help him pack his bag and get out!!! No sleeping with me sex or not! It means he has someone else but is using you for convenience. Of course I would cry and be heart broken, but I would not let that ruin my self esteem. You are better than that I am sure.



Mellhanks
by on Jan. 2, 2009 at 11:36 AM

I'm sorry honey it can be hard being young with a baby.  Maybe he is just a bit overwhemlmed right now.  With baby #2 on the way it may be a bit of a scare.  Did he say why he doesn't feel in love with you?

bMastives
by on Jan. 2, 2009 at 11:37 AM

I think most couples go through something like this around this time....If you can, convince him to stick it out. yes, the honey-moon stage is over. It's time for the real love to come through. It IS there, but you have to work to find it.


Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)