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to ppl who have been through divorce..PLEASE HELP

Posted by on Jan. 2, 2009 at 3:52 PM
  • 17 Replies

To give you all a little info..my husband is overseas..my birthday was on the 31st of this month..so i went out with my family to a bar and celebrated..he sent me a text saying happy new year..then asked where i was..i told him i didn't know when really i did..so he asked again where are you..i said at my mom's..then out of nowhere..he says to me..I WANT A DIVORCE..so..here i am SAHM of 3..and I have no clue where to begin looking for a lawyer..or where to begin period..he says he doesn't want to go through a lawyer anymore but that he wants us to come to an agreement..so if any of you have any advice please help..if not..please bump..and please don't BASH ME..i already feel like crap

 

Thanks In Advance

by on Jan. 2, 2009 at 3:52 PM
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Replies (1-10):
themacs4
by on Jan. 2, 2009 at 3:53 PM

Is he really sure that is what he wants?  If so, I would go through an attorney to have things in writing signed by the judge just in case something were to ever come back on you or him.  Have you talked to him since?

Carolbrady100
by on Jan. 2, 2009 at 3:57 PM

I did my divorce myself. I dont know what state you live in, but if you look up district court website for whatever state you live in, you can download all the paper work to file. It gave me all of the information on how to fill it out and what all I needed. All I had to do was pay a $250 filing fee. You will also need a parenting plan. Good luck!

ImransMom
by on Jan. 2, 2009 at 4:00 PM

Get a lawyer.  I don't know you or your husband, but it would be in your best interest to get yourself a lawyer.  Chances are he won't challenge you for custody of the kids, but you may end up getting more child support/alimony if you have a lawyer.  How are you supposed to hold him to an agreement that wasn't ordered by a court?  Good luck.

smilingmomma
by on Jan. 2, 2009 at 4:02 PM

i am a military wife {soon  to be ex} pm me  fo info  my divoce  has been messy and dragged out , he to is over seas  actaully  stationed in italy...pm me to talk

mrsjmomma
by on Jan. 2, 2009 at 4:03 PM

Because of one incident?  I'm assuming there has to be more to the story. I understand lying is the worst thing DH could do to me but it seems a little overboard!  Are you sure he's serious?

3lilqts
by on Jan. 2, 2009 at 4:05 PM

Time to lawyer up honey. I am so sorry for what you are going through.  Did he even try to explain where this comment was coming from?  it would be extremely hard to hold him to any verbal agreements you guys come to or anything like that.. I think anyways.  I'd go for the lawyer.

Amberwavessss
by on Jan. 2, 2009 at 4:06 PM

Texting... 

 

So you said You didn't know where you were and you didn't mean it.  How do you know he meant what he said?  That's not the sort of thing that gets settled via text message. 

mommyof11050307
by Ruby Member on Jan. 2, 2009 at 4:08 PM

If you can i would call him and find out whats going on. Im not sure if your hubby i smilitary since you said he is overseas. If he is military there are certain laws your going ot have to follow depending on your state. I know the spouse has to be back stateside if hes deployed to a war zone for so many monthes before you can file for divorce. I;'d talk to a lawyer first if i were you.

KBKmykids3
by on Jan. 2, 2009 at 4:08 PM

So first of all there are ways to get an attorney through the state if that is an option you may need. Also you need an attorney. My ex and I tried to do it between ourselves but in the end we were both represented. Are you sure this is what he wants? Were you afraid to tell him you were out with family or is it a trust issue? Well I hope it all works out for you!

Wifey To Him Mommy To Them In Love And Lovin It

Mom_to_Owen
by on Jan. 2, 2009 at 4:09 PM

I work in Family Law as  a paralegal ( i am NOT a lawyer)

BUT- I would highly reccomend retaining an attorney for several reasons:

1: you have children.  You need to make sure the parenting plan will work and be fair;

2.  Child support- same reasons

3) You are a SAHM- You can try asking for spousal maintenance from him since you have relied on him for so long and raising the children.

Many times people lose out on so much because they want to save money.  The men always manipulate the women.  Ask friends and family for the money.  You will be surprised how many will be willing.

On a side note:  Divorce is a major step.  Have you considered counseling?  The military prob offers this for free,

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