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Frustated Mom...Do you ever question you parenting skills?

Posted by on Jan. 2, 2009 at 5:31 PM
  • 4 Replies

I have a 9 yr old and he argues about absolutely everything with me... whether its about cleaning his room to doing homework.. I get really frustrated with him and then my voice escalates, My husband and I belive in discplining our child with words or we take his video games away or something like that. But sometimes I wonder if I am to hard on him, but then i think about how my mother was and i think i am too soft on him. , my husband says that I am to hard on him and that I should give him some space  which makes me feel inadequate as a mother. Should I just back off and not be on him all the time about having his room clean. But if i do back off will he become lazy and disrespectful as an adult.

by on Jan. 2, 2009 at 5:31 PM
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by on Jan. 2, 2009 at 5:37 PM

I know what you mean and my son is only 5. I think you should keep on him for the most part. The one battle I did back off on was his room. As long as there's no food or drink or anything that will attract bugs, I let it go. But stuff like homework is so super important. Without a proper education, it's almost impossible to make a good living these days.

I question my parenting skills everyday. Nobody's perfect and we just do the best we can. Just pick your battles with your kids. A messy room will not make him lazy and disrespectful.

by on Jan. 2, 2009 at 5:43 PM

My son is ten. His room left up to his own devices is a dump. He cleans it when asked. He's a kid.

Now, that said...his room is neatened up daily by him before school begins. He has a laundry on the floor, bed is made, toys off the floor.

By cleaning, I mean everything sorted, put where it really belongs, no mess on his desk top, changing the linens, etc. I don't make a big issue out of this. It is his space. We let him pick his room color as a reward for good grades, and he picked a shade of blue so dark you'd swear it's black. I pick my battles, and cleaning isn't one of them. He is a very respectful kid, though. He says 'yes ma'am, no ma'am' etc...he wouldn't think of talking back. We discipline with time out or taking away privileges. He has never been hit in his life.

We have the teen years to muddle through. I'm not going to take everything to task at this age, and have him shut down, or start hating me now. I'd rather reason with him to a degree, and have some mutual respect so the later years hopefully leave us both sane and alive.

Good luck. :)


by on Jan. 2, 2009 at 5:46 PM

I had to respond to your post because of how "there" I am today. I've had a challenging day with my 4 and 2 year olds and found myself crying on the couch convinced that I'm a failure as a parent. Ahhhhh - the trials and tribulations of parenting.

Good luck to you!!!!!

And one on the way - coming in June


by on Jan. 2, 2009 at 5:51 PM

I know how you feel and my son is not quite 7 yet.  Everything is an argument lately and I am tired of it.  I have gotten to the point that every time he talks back he goes to the corner for a bit.  It has helped but not cured the problem.  I also think your DH is wrong to tell you that you are to strict.  Having expectations and consequences for bad behavior makes good adults in the end. 

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