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Introducing myself! Kinda long but had to do it!

Posted by on Jan. 21, 2009 at 11:48 AM
  • 3 Replies

The name is Barbara and I am a mother of 2 children Kimberlie 13 and Coty 10. I was diagnosed with BP when I was 18 after the loss of my daughter Machelle to SIDS.  No need to speak of my loss, I prefer it that way.  Anywho, I was severly depressed and then I became anorexic and then I decided that shopping and spending would help me forget.  Well my exhusband finally agreed to take me to the dr to see what was going on.  We talked about all the symptoms and the extravagance of how I was doing things.  It was then said I was manic depressive.  I began taking medication that seemed like it was literally burning a hole through my stomach.  I couldnt take it.  I became prego with my DD Kimberlie and I didnt take anything during that time.  I felt happy and I felt okay and so I went about as though things were "ok" when deep down I knew they were not.  I was hiding how I felt.  Well flash forward I had my son Coty and he was very ill for the first year of his life and of course I couldnt cope very well with al that I was being told.  I dealt with everything the best I could with NO medication which was not a good thing.  I later divorced my husband due to personal reasons and I went out on my own with 2 kids.  I was very irrational to say the least.  I went from having anything I could ever imagine to nothing but me and 2 kids.  I ended up dancing at a night club to provide for the lifestyle we were accustomed too.  While doing so I got caught up in the nightlife and of course as all BP's we arent supposed to do that. It truly isnt good for us!  Well I continued to dance and raise my kids and then I got a part time job for the w-2 form to file taxes and I was now working 2 jobs with 2 kids.  Well as time went on I stopped the drugs and began yet a 3rd job, yes 3rd job!  While working this job I met someone and he told me how much better I was than to be working at a night club and that I should consider stopping.  I ignored him and kept doing it because the money was great!  Well we began dating and he gave me an ultimatum and so I stopped and began just working the 2 jobs.  Well he noticed how my moods would go from one extreme to the next and how I fabricated things or how I would shop to no end not caring about a budget!  He talked me into going to see a dr and at that point I told him everything and about how I wasnt taking my meds and he said we are def going to the dr.  So I went and got back on meds and things started looking up.  I was taking my meds daily and everything was fine until he relocated after 5 years and being engaged and I couldnt go because of the kids and I didnt want to hold him back.  He went and we did the whole back and forth thing, it just wasnt working for me so I ended things and then I went on a rampage so to speak.  Went out all the time, partied when the kids werent with me every other weekend and I shopped like no ones business. I was completely manic and I didnt care!  I stopped my meds and just went about like it was no ones business.  I managed to continue working at the advertising firm where I was for about 5 years before they went out of business.  Of course that set me off on another rampage.  Well I moved back to my hometown and met someone from Myspace and we became really good friends.  We then ended up dating and I fell head over heels for him. We are engaged to be married April 4, 2009.  He has helped me learn to cope with everydays life and struggles.  He is my rock and Im taking my medicine regularly. Just recently my DD who is 13 was diagnosed as having BP as well. 

by on Jan. 21, 2009 at 11:48 AM
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by on Jan. 21, 2009 at 12:01 PM

 Thank YouI needed your post today!   

Reading your post has opened my eyes! I think I might be bi-polar, just living in denial and mis-diagnosis. I don't get suicidal thoughts. I do fear dying too soon. (almost did 10 yrs ago, had a brain anuerysm burst.) Now, I'm not doing well handling money or dealing with serious issues, like doctors appts.,keeping in touch with relatives, and club meetings I keep finding excuses to miss them.

~ Marie ~  

by on Jan. 21, 2009 at 12:04 PM


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by Ruby Member on Jan. 21, 2009 at 4:24 PM

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