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Should my b/f stick up for ME or his MOM???

Posted by on Jan. 21, 2009 at 1:58 PM
  • 21 Replies

My b/f & I live w/ his mom (she's bedridden..had an aneurism 7 yrs ago..paralyzed on her left side).  Mentally there is NOTHING wrong w/ her.  Okay so we moved back to the house in Oct...she sees my dd (her grand dd) everyday since we now live there...however my mom lives 45 min. to an hour away so I usually visit if not twice a month than once month b/c she needs to be in my moms life as well.  Well everytime my mom picks me up so that I can stay w/ her for a weekend his mom starts crying & making  a big fuss.  Thanksgiving she TOLD me that she wanted my dd to stay w/ her so I said fine...but for X-mas I told her that I was spending it w/ my mom b/c its only fair...she started crying etc. etc.  I'm like WTF!!...she gets to see her everyday but the minute I want my mom to see her she starts crying...so about a month ago I noticed that whenever I would say good morning to her she wouldn't say anything in return...when  my mom came over one day & spoke to her she didn't say anything either..I brought it to my b/f attention & told him that it was rude & either he says something to her or I will...so anyway..that passed...well now..more sh*t to deal with..last week when I came down w/ my dd to feed her breakfast I said good morning like I normally would & the first thing that comes out of her mouth is "PUT SOME PAJAMAS ON MY BABY" in an authoritive manner.  My dd had on a onesie..I had taken off her long johns b/c she was sweating.  So I told her those were her pajamas & I walked away...she put me in sh*tty mood...I don't like being told what to do & I damn sure don't like someone claiming that MY baby is theirs...so later on that week I was upstairs giving her a bath & she throws a temper tantrum & when I'm done yelling at her I hear his grandfather (who is a phoney ass man) tell her that I was SPANKING HER!! WTF!! so when I'm done I go downstairs & she says to me "DID YOU BEAT MY BABY?" I looked @ her & wanted to scream but instead I said "No I did NOT beat MY baby nor do I EVER beat MY baby" & I walked upstairs.

Now I'm at my moms now b/c I needed to get away from their for a while--I don't like being told what to do with my child nor do I like being questioned...I told my b/f & he told me to shrug it off my shoulders!! Well NO i'm not b/c by her asking me that she must think some way of me as a mother..but what my b/f family doesn't know..he just started being a good father in sept.  I've been doing everything for my baby since she was born...but all of a sudden now that we live at his moms he wants to play the good daddy role for them.  Am I over reacting?? Or do I have a right to be mad? And what do you think my b/f should be doing??

by on Jan. 21, 2009 at 1:58 PM
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Replies (1-10):
MommeeTo4
by on Jan. 21, 2009 at 2:02 PM

 I think you have every right to be mad, but you are also living in her home, I know that still doesn't give her the right to act like that though, good luck on this one

rmattes
by on Jan. 21, 2009 at 2:02 PM

I think you should be moving out. That is not a good situation for anyone. As for your b/f....IDK what to tell you. He's between a rock and a hard place, esp since you are living there. Sorry I can't be more help. GL!

                                                                                

101InfantryWife
by on Jan. 21, 2009 at 2:02 PM

Is there anyway you can stay at ur moms? While the thought is nice, for you all to live with is mom and take care of her, I dont think its a good idea.

Babies can sense tension and its not good for your DD.. I would tell your BF that you are not wanting to deal with this anymore, and he has a choice to make

I think you two need to either stay at your own parents home, or if you can afford it, get your own place..  Its too much mama.. ive been there

101InfantryWife
by on Jan. 21, 2009 at 2:03 PM

BTW ur child is adorable

MrsCarlet
by on Jan. 21, 2009 at 2:04 PM

You have every right to be mad.  Your BF needs to stand up for you and tell his mom to treat you with respect.  That would piss me off.  I am  sorry that you are going through this.







 

theosmom23
by on Jan. 21, 2009 at 2:04 PM

i would be irate.  i'd expect my significant other to stick up for me, especially on issues about parenting, because it is your child with him, and the parenting decisions you make together are the only ones that matter.  his mother does not get a say.  and the thing about her making a scene when you visit your mother is just ridiculous.  yes, i'd be mad LOL. 

HappyMommy71
by on Jan. 21, 2009 at 2:04 PM

Yes I do have intentions on moving to my moms but where my mom lives I need a car so I'm waiting for income taxes to come in than I plan on moving out.

Quoting 101InfantryWife:

Is there anyway you can stay at ur moms? While the thought is nice, for you all to live with is mom and take care of her, I dont think its a good idea.

Babies can sense tension and its not good for your DD.. I would tell your BF that you are not wanting to deal with this anymore, and he has a choice to make

I think you two need to either stay at your own parents home, or if you can afford it, get your own place..  Its too much mama.. ive been there


heartstolen08
by on Jan. 21, 2009 at 2:05 PM

woooo do u have my mil haha. Mine is that same way. She is always questionsing my parenting, but not really to my face, she will ask her mother (who pretty much trys to run the family) should I feed him this or should I put this on him, when I am right there, she wont ask me, she asks her mohter!! Im his parent not either of them!! And my bf always tells me to let it go or say something to her but if i say anthing she will start a fight and them my bf will get mad, forget that. And I do everything here, I feed, bathe, and play with our son, he onyl wacthes him if he has to, he wont watch him so I can shower or eat or go anywhere I have to ask someone else or have him with me. But when they are around, he trys to act like father of the year!! I hat eit, and they sit there and praise him and Im  like are you serious?? sry, I had to vent, just reminds me so much of my home life. Oh and my mom lives 40 mins away and his lives not even 10 and they always try to hog my son even though my mom is way better with him then they are and honsetly I think he likes my mom better.

TinaNichole
by on Jan. 21, 2009 at 2:06 PM

I think you guys should move out. Get your own space. It'll be good for everyone involved. It'd be sad if the relationship between your in-laws & you and your daughter got permanently ruined

Lilypie 1st Birthday Ticker
arkaye13
by on Jan. 21, 2009 at 2:07 PM
You have every right to be mad. She is YOUR baby. His mother is just being a pain in the ass and needs to be put in her place. Either your b/f does it or you do it. Stay with your mom for a while if you are able to do that. Sorry your situations is sucky right now. Good luck.
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