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Parents or grandparents?? POLL

Posted by on Jan. 21, 2009 at 2:02 PM
  • 28 Replies

 

Poll

Question: Who is responsible?

Options:

parents

grandparents

shared responsibility

other (can there be an other-explain)


Only group members can vote in this poll.

Total Votes: 110

View Results

Im just curious if you think its the grandparents responsibility or the parents responsibility to make sure your child sees their grandparents. My ILs live over an hour away and they refuse to ever come to our house. They say its our responsibility to take DS to them. I dont agree. I think that if they want to see him they can come out here on our schedule! Im curious to see what other mommas think!
by on Jan. 21, 2009 at 2:02 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Expectingpeanut
by on Jan. 21, 2009 at 2:03 PM

I think that an effort should be made on both parts!

mama2jarednrae
by on Jan. 21, 2009 at 2:04 PM

I think both need to make the effort!

Dawn4175
by Platinum Member on Jan. 21, 2009 at 2:04 PM

me too

Quoting Expectingpeanut:

I think that an effort should be made on both parts!


Angelbabii407
by Silver Member on Jan. 21, 2009 at 2:07 PM
ok I want to clarify something, so I dont sound like a totally horrible person! We have offered to go out there on many occasions but they smoke in their home so I do not want to take my son there. We have offered to go to the mall, dinner, starbucks. and everytime they have said no that they only want him if he can come to their house. Does that sound fair at all?
MikeysMom51108
by on Jan. 21, 2009 at 2:07 PM

I think it should be a shared effort.

I'm in the same situation though. My MIL lives an hour away. While I was pregnant, I drove to her house all the time to see her and update her. When my son was born, we had to beg her to come see us. We even had to give her $40 to come up here. Then, we went down there twice after he was born so she could see him. Labor day was the last time we were down there. We got tired of being the ones to always make the trip. Until yesterday (when she came up here), Labor Day was the last time she had seen my son. She wasn't happy about it, but we told her we shouldn't always have to be the ones making the trip.


mstnbecki
by on Jan. 21, 2009 at 2:08 PM

well i voted shared but in this case its there responsiability to come to him in his smooke free home

Quoting Angelbabii407:

ok I want to clarify something, so I dont sound like a totally horrible person! We have offered to go out there on many occasions but they smoke in their home so I do not want to take my son there. We have offered to go to the mall, dinner, starbucks. and everytime they have said no that they only want him if he can come to their house. Does that sound fair at all?


sllytnkrbl
by Gold Member on Jan. 21, 2009 at 2:09 PM

I visit my parents weekly with the kids otherwise they'd never see them but there is a good reason, my parents take care of my grandmother who isn't mobile and nearing 90 so they can't leave her alone, plus I have a dog and my dad sometimes has reactions to her.  We make a point of seeing my parents because we don't know how long my grandma will be around and my dad also has heart problems and I am always afraid that something will happen.    My in laws on the other hand could stop by more often since they visit my sil all the time and they actually have to pass by my house on the way to hers unless they take the long way around, so we visit them once a month we figure they don't make the effort so neither will we.   I don't know what either set of grandparents is going to do when we follow through with our plans, we plan on moving to SC later on this year - we're currently in Rhode Island as are they.


Leni - Wife, Mom and NASCAR Fan




 

agunderman
by on Jan. 21, 2009 at 2:09 PM

i wouldnt take them over there if they are smoking in the house..they for one need to think about their grandchild...i would tell them or have your dh tell them that your not comfortable going to their house because they smoke in there..if they dont understand then thats their problem...

Quoting Angelbabii407:

ok I want to clarify something, so I dont sound like a totally horrible person! We have offered to go out there on many occasions but they smoke in their home so I do not want to take my son there. We have offered to go to the mall, dinner, starbucks. and everytime they have said no that they only want him if he can come to their house. Does that sound fair at all?


Night_Roane
by Platinum Member on Jan. 21, 2009 at 2:14 PM

My parents just expected me to bring the baby to them during Christmas. They never came when the baby was born, though, and they're financially very stable and we struggle greatly financially and they know that. I tried explaining that to them and my mother just said "If you love someone you find a way to make it work" I was kind of like WTF? What kind of effort have you ever made? I just said "It's a 12 hour bus ride - with a 4 month old!" They're totally inconsiderate to all the circumstances, though. Stupid really, cuz as I recall we never visited our grandparents. They always came and visited us.

Lilypie 1st Birthday Ticker
angieizzi
by on Jan. 21, 2009 at 2:17 PM

I believe it should be a shared effort. I do understand you not wanting to take him to their home if they smoke. If they can't at least make the effort to meet at a neutral spot then I wouldn't bother either.

What if you slept?
And what if in your sleep, you dreamed?
And what if in your dream, you went to heaven
and there plucked a strange and beautiful flower?
And what if, when you woke, you had the flower in your hand?
Ah! What then?
- Samuel Taylor Coleridge
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