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OMG....people amaze me...abortion is black and white huh?

Posted by on Jan. 25, 2009 at 12:47 AM
  • 71 Replies

This will be drama I'm sure but I don't give a sh*t anymore.  I posted this long ago, but after WAY too damn many conversations both in real life & on here about abortion I feel the need to post it again.  I swear if I see "keep your legs closed if you don't want a baby" one more time I'm going to be sick.  For all of those of you who believe that abortion is always murder, who think it should be outlawed completely....put yourself in my place & try for one second to grasp the fact that this issues is not as black & white as you want it to be.  Not always is it simply the case of someone who doesn't WANT a baby, & regardless of the fact that those cases may not be the norm, they still exist.  I would personally never encourage someone to have an abortion, especially not as a form of birth control, but TRY to understand that the very same laws that allow them to do so are the same laws that permitted me to have a choice in what was the most difficult decision of my life.  So...here ya go.....one more time....

 

 

When I was 16 weeks pregnant I found out during the exciting "find out the sex" ultrasound that my daughter had Anencephaly...if you don't know what that is feel free to Google it.  I refuse to post pics of it on here as they are distrubing.  A second & third & fourth opinion later there was no "maybe they're wrong," she was going to die and there was NOTHING I could do to change that.   And I pray to God that none of you are ever in that situation....but until you have to face the reality that your child IS going to die, until you have had to face the possibility of 9 months of pregnancy knowing that buying anything for that child will only being going into a grave with them rather than a nursery, until you have had to answer the congratulations & questions from strangers about your pregnancy & how excited you must be, until you have had to face the fact that you ARE going to bury your precious daughter you have absolutely NO room to criticize anyone who has been in that horrible horrible place.  And yes, there are others who chose a different path than I did, and that was right for their family, not mine. 

I am consistently shocked that as mothers, any one of you would dare to criticize a mother who has had to bury a child.  I know all too well that until you're there you don't know, but even before I was there I could never imagine judging a parent who had to make such an agonizing decision. 

I realize everyone has their opinions, and you are entitled to them.  You are able to express what you feel you would do in such a situation.  If asked for advice, you are entitled to express your thoughts.  You are not however entitled to be nasty, and hurtful, and call us murderers.  You are not entitled to attack those of us who have had to make this decision, whatever your thoughts may be and most certainly not in the name of God who is the only one who can judge us all.

I love my daughter.  I would have loved to have had time with her.  However, given my life at that point and what I knew about her condition I chose to let her go.  My daughter would never have gained consciousness, she would have been blind, deaf & possibly unable to breathe on her own.  In my mind, to bring her into this world so that I could hold her & have that time would have been selfish...mind you I'm not calling those who have done this selfish, but personally that's how it felt...again, to each their own.  Someone has told me previously about a 2.5 year old with the disorder who lived on life support until she died of a heart attack.  That is not how I wanted my daughter to live, especially knowing that that is all there would ever be for her, there was no chance she would "get better & wake up."  I didn't feel it was fair to anyone, her, me or my family especially my then 18 month old son.  Others see things differently, and I respect that.  Once again though, I do not respect you casting judgement on the decision I made.

To anyone who says this could have been misdiagnosed...I strongly urge you to go look up the condition & pictures of it, I warn you again though, they are disturbing.  There are many brain malformations & disorders that can absolutely be misdiagnosed.  The chances of misdiagnosing this one....especailly 4 times....is slim to none.

Check your judgements because you seriously don't have a damn clue what you're talking about unless you've been there...and if you HAVE been there & continue to judge, well then shame on you as well.

 

by on Jan. 25, 2009 at 12:47 AM
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Replies (1-10):
marilyn623
by Gold Member on Jan. 25, 2009 at 12:50 AM

i'm sorry. some (ALOT) of people will never "get it".


101InfantryWife
by on Jan. 25, 2009 at 12:50 AM

Not sure if you read my comment to you in the other group before it was locked, but dont feel that you have to explain yourself to any of those high and mighty soap box moms..

I understand you did what you had to do.. I dont know how some of those extreme moms can say theyd carry a baby like your daughter to term... how hard that must be!

I support you and your decision. Hugs

LisaKelz
by on Jan. 25, 2009 at 12:51 AM

I am very sorry you had to go through this! Im sure you did love your daughter!!! The post you are talking about though- MOST of us were only offended by those who chose to abort their baby when it had no problems. I did not & would not judge you for the decision you had to make.

Blue_Orchid
by on Jan. 25, 2009 at 12:52 AM

I am truly sorry that you had to live through such a tragic experience.  It is a nightmare situation that no mother should ever have to face.  My condolences.

 

im sorry

mommy2-3kiddos
by on Jan. 25, 2009 at 12:52 AM

Nope...and I feel sorry for them.  It's got to suck to be that closed minded....

Quoting marilyn623:

i'm sorry. some (ALOT) of people will never "get it".


 

proud_mami_of_3
by on Jan. 25, 2009 at 12:52 AM

I'm sooo very sorry that you and your family went through that. I..... well there really aren't any words to say. Although I my opinions may not always align w/ anybody else's as a mother I can sympathize w/ what a hard decision that was and what it has cost you......

God bless you sweetheart and for those that judge you...... their day will come when they have to stand before God and give an answer.

 

TalaziaMae
by on Jan. 25, 2009 at 12:53 AM

Im sooo sorry...


MikeysMom51108
by on Jan. 25, 2009 at 12:53 AM

Your story sounds familiar--I think I may have seen it before. Either way, I am so sorry you had to go through that. I cannot (and don't want to) imagine what that must have been like.

This type of story is just one more reason I remain pro-choice. Thank you for sharing, and as long as you know that you did what was right for you--don't worry what others say about it. You're such a strong woman.


CasandraFinlay
by on Jan. 25, 2009 at 12:54 AM

Hugs, chica!

mommy2-3kiddos
by on Jan. 25, 2009 at 12:54 AM

I did....and thank you :-)  Like I said this was an old post...but I felt it needed to show up again lol.

And I know people who have carried Anencephalic babies to term.  I have no issue with that for them...but for me, the best decision was to let her go...

Thanks for the hugs :-) I need them today...it's been a rough one...might be why I'm so cranky on here lol.

Quoting 101InfantryWife:

Not sure if you read my comment to you in the other group before it was locked, but dont feel that you have to explain yourself to any of those high and mighty soap box moms..

I understand you did what you had to do.. I dont know how some of those extreme moms can say theyd carry a baby like your daughter to term... how hard that must be!

I support you and your decision. Hugs


 

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