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would I be going too far with your child? piog

Posted by on Jan. 25, 2009 at 12:40 PM
  • 22 Replies

I have it on good authority some of the ninety teens I am bussing to NYC from the suburbs for my dd's sweet 16 party are going to try to bring booze on in tiny bottles or water bottles or someway concealed.

I plan on having my chaperones say the following on the high school campus where they get on the buses (dropped off by parents, sitters, etc. I heard already sometimes having had drinks).

We are saying: Here's the Deal:  Right now, anything you have on you will be put in a bag and you will not get in trouble--anything remotely that might be alchohol or a susbstance or refreshment.,  The club supplies all refreshments--so all juice, water, refreshment of any type can be turned over here--it may not be brought in alchohol or not..

However, the Club has very strict rules which we have no control over.  There is surveillance all over the club, in addition to chaperones and security everywhere.  If you are seen even in a bathroom stall drinking or taking anything, we have no control over what the security can do with you.  They may call the police.  We cannot stop them--it is not our facility. 

So, now we are going to check you in as they will at the club--only they will even be stricter--

Now kids have to open their handbags, pockets, etc. and they will be checked for alchohol.

I have alerady called all the parents and told them I am checking before the bus--and they are grateful.  Kids have been taken away drunk by ambulance in the past etc. 

My dd said to me--when I said look, honey, just be straight with me:  are they going to sneak in booze.  She said yes.  Not my friends.  They aren't that stupid. Bus number one is ok--but some kids on bus number two probably will.

I said do you care how hard I come down on them?  She said, no.

One mother she didn't want to be the bad guy--so she sat all night at her sweet sixteen party with a girl who had the "flu" but was really drunk.

Anyreaction, tips or input appreciated.  Almost all parents are trusting me to keep their kids safe and out of the way of a boozed environment.  I gave them my word.

 

by on Jan. 25, 2009 at 12:40 PM
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Replies (1-10):
AllforColin
by on Jan. 25, 2009 at 12:43 PM

No you wouldn't be going too far! I would want my child to be held accountable! I would also want to be told about it!

                                                                  

MommyOnLI
by on Jan. 25, 2009 at 12:43 PM

question... you are chaperoning 90 teens for YOUR daughters sweet 16, but when you asked her if anyone was planning on sneaking booze she said yes, but NOT HER FRIENDS?  whos friends are they then?  if its your daughters sweet 16, i would think she knows all of the kids that are going

GreenMtGirl
by on Jan. 25, 2009 at 12:43 PM

No.. 

there should be no alcohol at an event like that... the teens are under 21.. You would be the one held responsible if anything were to happen to those kids while at this event...

Being a parent is not about being a friend.. it is about being a parent.

MissiHampt
by on Jan. 25, 2009 at 12:44 PM

I don't think you have any choice.  These kids will be under your care, therefore your responsibility.  If anything should happen, you could be held liable....even as far as being charged criminally.  You have to dol whatever it takes to keep the kids in your care safe, for your own sake as well as theirs.

please forgive me that my responses are slow and my punctuation is lousy.  i'm recovering from surgery and can only type with one finger....but i'm a true cafemom addict and just can't stay away!



 

nonna
by on Jan. 25, 2009 at 12:46 PM

Nope, I don't think you're going too far.  You're searching them, with prior warning and letting them know about the security measures at the club.  If any of them have an issue with it, then they can miss the party. 


Krystiana ~ Loving wifey to Nick, Momma to Juliana,
Stepmomma to Lillyana,
and growing a boy. EDD-2/20/09

TheresaMomof9
by on Jan. 25, 2009 at 12:47 PM

Honest? I wouldnt let my teen go to your party. No offense, but that's too many kids to watch over...just asking for trouble in my opinion. But no, if you're going ahead and doing it, the stricter the better.

T.

jaxTheMom
by on Jan. 25, 2009 at 12:47 PM

No, it's absolutely not going too far.

Mom2LiamNMolly
by on Jan. 25, 2009 at 12:47 PM

Sounds to me like your daughters friends aren't the most desirable... and if you believe she doesn't drink, too... you are a very naive mom!!!

                 motherhood-quote21


Stefanie - Mommy to Liam Patrick 07/07 (IUGR) and Molly Kate 06/08 (IUGR, Pre-Natal Stroke, Developmental Delays, and Failure to Thrive) and Wife to Mark since 2/17/2006

itssweetness
by on Jan. 25, 2009 at 12:47 PM


Quoting MissiHampt:

I don't think you have any choice.  These kids will be under your care, therefore your responsibility.  If anything should happen, you could be held liable....even as far as being charged criminally.  You have to dol whatever it takes to keep the kids in your care safe, for your own sake as well as theirs.


itssweetness

linda4
by on Jan. 25, 2009 at 12:47 PM

I would say thank you for caring so much and trying to keep that away from teens. I also say if the parents already know that you are going to do this and they have no problem with you doing this then do it. It is so worth it in the long run. My youngest daughter will be 17 y/o on the 29th and wants to have a party at a Hotel but she wants no adults and I keep telling her it is not going to happen.

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