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Need help, kinda long but please read

Posted by on Jan. 25, 2009 at 11:33 PM
  • 9 Replies

So my SIL is living with me and she's got two kids. Her oldest and my oldest are the same age, and actually they grew up together. Her youngest (we'll call him JJ)and my youngest (Tony)are about 1-1/2 years apart, hers being the younger one. He's 16 months and mine will be 3 at the end of March.

So here's my vent.....

JJ has a tendency to bite, push, hit, shove, pinch and yell. Tony does these things as well. So both children should be disciplined for these actions, right. Well SIL doesn't seem to get it. She just picks JJ up and moves him away from Tony.

Me on the other hand, I put Tony on a time out, or spank his butt (yes I spank, only one swat on the butt more to get his attention then to inflict pain) and I explain to him what was wrong and why it was wrong. Most of the time this works, I just have to be consistent.

SIL and JJ have been here now since the week before Thanksgiving, and I'm not seeing the change in my son that I would normally see after discipling him for the same action for so long.

I am starting to get soo irritated had SIL because I feel SHE SHOULD DO SOMETHING ABOUT HER CHILD!

My Tony has permanent SCARS on his chest from her JJ biting him!!

He had to go on antibiotics because the doctor says that human bites are sometimes more dangerouse then dog bites.

I need help. I think that Tony isn't getting the point about hitting and pushing, because he doesn't see JJ getting in trouble for it. Am I wrong?

Is it too much to ask that my SIL at least do something instead of say "OH, JJ" and then put a bottle in his mouth and hold him.

Good Grief, the kid is 16 months old, he can be taught right from wrong.

Am I asking too much? Does anyone have any suggestions?

 

by on Jan. 25, 2009 at 11:33 PM
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Replies (1-9):
zantonysmom
by on Jan. 25, 2009 at 11:36 PM

really, no one? Please, my SIL is driving me crazy, I can't kick her out, that's just not an option, so what do I do?

JAX_Mami
by on Jan. 25, 2009 at 11:36 PM

that's a tough one. i'm drawing a blank...other than telling her to leave I don't know. Parents don't respond well to other parents telling them how to parent. good luck and here's a bump!

                          

BUT

zantonysmom
by on Jan. 25, 2009 at 11:39 PM

Thanks, I know, and I don't want to hurt her feelings or anything, I just need to do or say something

Quoting JAX_Mami:

that's a tough one. i'm drawing a blank...other than telling her to leave I don't know. Parents don't respond well to other parents telling them how to parent. good luck and here's a bump!


zantonysmom
by on Jan. 25, 2009 at 11:41 PM

I'm giving myself a bump, hopefully someone can help

jennymitchell
by on Jan. 25, 2009 at 11:42 PM

I agree.  Your SIL might start biting and pushing you if you tell her she's not parenting right.  Maybe just mention that you are conerned about JJ's behavior towards your son.  Good luck!

Quoting JAX_Mami:

that's a tough one. i'm drawing a blank...other than telling her to leave I don't know. Parents don't respond well to other parents telling them how to parent. good luck and here's a bump!


        

AWannaBeMommy
by on Jan. 25, 2009 at 11:44 PM

It may not be the best approach but tell your son to stick up from himself, not that I condone violence but your son giving him a little smack when her kid tries to bite him may be just what he needs. Or allow him to remove himself from the situation in an are with toys and things he likes that the other child is not allowed to be in.


Calebsmommy1219
by on Jan. 25, 2009 at 11:46 PM

I say that if she is living in YOUR house then you have every right to say something to her.

MissAndrea125
by on Jan. 25, 2009 at 11:49 PM

You really need to throw some major hints, like "Isn't there anything you can say or do to get him to stop?" And remind her that when your kid does that, he gets a little pop on the butt atleast. Kids that young respond to that deep voice "NO! Not nice!" type of thing, in my opinion. Or a sharp "HEY! NO NO!" Hell if it were me, I'd even say it to someone else's kid if they bit my kid, then I would pick my kid up and walk away.

zantonysmom
by on Jan. 25, 2009 at 11:49 PM

Thanks you guys, I'll try both of those. I think I'm going to have to talk to my DH and tell him he needs to let his siter know she's got to go soon, because my kids are starting to get seriously hurt

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