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Irresponsible husbands!

Posted by on Jan. 27, 2009 at 12:18 PM
  • 5 Replies

 My husband and I have been married going on 4 years in March, and we had our first child last March.  About a year before I became pregnant my husband lost is job and decided that he wanted to take a break.  He was on unemployment for six months and then when that was up he finally decided to get another job.  He worked for about 5 months and then lost that job in September 2007.  At that point I was 3 months pregnant  and that added a lot of stress to our relationship.  A month before our baby was due, of course, he lost his job again and it has almost been a year since he's worked even though he says he's looked everywhere for a job.  I worked up till the time that I delivered.  After continuously arguing everyday about the situation, I moved back home with my parents in July. I was tired of going to work all day then coming home and taking care of the house as well as a newborn and having no help.  I hoped that leaving would be an eye-opener for him but it doesn't seemed to have worked.  At this point I feel like I'm ready to throw in the towel.  I don't get any help from him and I feel so disgusted with him even if he did change I don't think I could go back.  I just don't know what to do.

by on Jan. 27, 2009 at 12:18 PM
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Replies (1-5):
mommytotaylor
by on Jan. 27, 2009 at 12:22 PM

i am sorry that you are going through a hard time, your hubby sounds like my brother, luckly for me i have a hubby who loves to work and go to school and i am able to stay home with dd,i am looking for work now though due to bills and such, goodluck to you though

79andi
by on Jan. 27, 2009 at 12:24 PM

 It is hard to find a job nowa days, but I found one on Craig's list.  Look for something that is in his field or something that he wants to try.  As for leaving, that is hard to say. Did you talk to him and ask why he doesnt want to work? Maybe it is a self-esteem problem. Let him know that you will help him find a job, but you feel drained when you are the main provider and caretaker.  Ask him how you can help to get him back on his feet, maybe he just needs a little encouragement and help. My DH gave me instpiration when I wasnt sure where to look for a job or what to do, it helped me, and I knew he was concerned.

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babyblujems
by on Jan. 28, 2009 at 9:37 AM

My sister and her boyfriend have that problem.  But the difference is she is on disability and they live with his parents.  They don't have enough money to be on their own and he says that he doesn't want to leave her alone, or that he doesn't have a way to work, all of us have offered to drive him.  The worse part is that their place is filthy because her boyfriend's mother refuses to clean.  I'm scared someone is going to call CPS on them.  i don't have any advice except that if you are that disgusted and he won't change for you maybe you should get a divorce

tinaandavasmom
by on Jan. 28, 2009 at 9:52 AM

.I am sorry . I can relate, my ex husband never could keep a job, so he joined the army thinking that would be a piece of cake. I wish you the best of luck.

Making the decision to have a child - it's momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking outside your body.
Elizabeth Stone

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