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Is it selfish to only want one child?

Posted by on Jan. 27, 2009 at 2:11 PM
  • 33 Replies

I have a beautiful 3 year old daughter, she is of course the love of my life and I have always said that I didnt want anymore children. I like being able to give her all of my attention. Recently my daughter has been begging me for a baby sister or brother. She doesnt have any family or friends here besides daycare because my fiance is in the military so we move around.  He is also gone alot sometimes months at a time and I work full time so I think it would be alot more difficult to handle two kids on my own than one but I am starting to consider having another child and I feel that maybe I'm not being fair to my daughter because she would benefit from having a sibling. A friend even told me that I am being selfish by not having another child.  I would like to hear some opinions. Thanks!

by on Jan. 27, 2009 at 2:11 PM
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Replies (1-10):
lenalove
by on Jan. 27, 2009 at 2:13 PM

It is not selfish. You are the onecaring for another child, not your friend or anyone else. It is YOUR decision. I have decided not to have more kids also.

                                 

MommyRivera
by on Jan. 27, 2009 at 2:15 PM

You are doing what is right for YOU. If you want just one child, then nobody else should have any input in it.  

 



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CannonMom
by on Jan. 27, 2009 at 2:17 PM

I don't think that its selfish just be sure that is what you want.

Razzle_Dazzle30
by on Jan. 27, 2009 at 2:17 PM

I don't think it's selfish at all!  You're doing what's best for you and your family and that's about as unselfish as you can get :) 


zillionaire
by on Jan. 27, 2009 at 2:19 PM

Of course, you're not being selfish.  Have the number of children that is right for your family.  Personally, I don't think you should have more children than you can carry to safety, but that's my own rule.

I only have one, and I want more, because I think siblings are healthy for children to have.  It takes some of the pressure off them.  Having your parent's full and undivided attention can be a little intense.  On the other hand, I kinda like having time with her all by herself.  I like it being the two of us + daddy.  So we're going to let nature decide for us.

missbobbie
by on Jan. 27, 2009 at 2:20 PM

I originally wanted three kids but then this one arrived and has given me HELL!! I could not see going through this ever again with a toddler around nonetheless. I will only have one child and it is not out of selfishness it is out of practicality for not wanting to go insane.

aluvk4evr
by on Jan. 27, 2009 at 2:21 PM

I don't think it's selfish either. I have sort of come to terms (after 4 miscarriages) that I'd be happy with just the 3 of us. But I'm having a harder time convincing dh of that idea. He wants more. When? I don't know, lol. I understand what you feel because you get into a comfortable routine, you get more sleep now, and finances are where you want them, and other things just fit perfectly now.

shelljeff
by on Jan. 27, 2009 at 2:21 PM

I know how you feel.  My daughter asked Santa in 2007 for a baby brother.  We found out the Friday before Christmas that we were expecting.  Not planned (failed birth control).  We could not have been happier to have a second child.  I too thought that it would be so difficult because my husband travels for work and I too work full-time.  To be honest, it has been such an easy transition.  My three year old is such a great helper.  It is all what you feel is right for you and your family though.  Good luck in your decision =)

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my2girls516
by on Jan. 27, 2009 at 2:22 PM

After I had my first, I knew I was going to have another.  I felt I wanted at least 2 kids. 

I do not feel it is selfish to have more kids then what you want.  It's your life.  Also, if you have a child now your DD will probably not become close with the baby until they are older.    I think it is abnoxious that someone would tell you you are being selfish for only wanting one child.

StillMagnolia
by on Jan. 27, 2009 at 2:23 PM

I honestly love having two children and I really hope they will be as close as they are when they get older as they are now but having said that~ that's me and my family~ Your family is "YOUR" family. No one has any right to call you selfish.  If you are content with one child and that's all you really want then I think that's great.  You can give your one baby the world.  Definitely nothing wrong with that!  Have a great day! :o)

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