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Posted by on Jan. 27, 2009 at 2:35 PM
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I have been with my husband 10 years this september and married 5.  We currently have 2 children a 17 month old and a 2.5 year old.   I am currently at a crossroad in my relationship and am not sure if I have the corage to change anything ) or should just stay in this relationship knowing that unless I leave him nomatter how hard i try i will never be able to change his personality and in return know that i will never fully be happy.  I just don't know what to do...  For those of you who don't know I took my DH to the ER Thanksgivving day due to what turned out to be major depression (he stayed in the psych unit a week).  Anyway after a week he came home which in my opinion was way to soon and he see a dr. that prescribes his meds 1x a week and he see a talking therapist 1x a week.  He wasn't cleared for week until last week (so he was off work over a month).   He was prescibed Welbutrin and that was it... I am on more medications then him for anxiety... i am so emotionally tired and draind.   I just don't know what to do and how long ican keep this marrage going so one sided.  i am lonely.  I wish he was back in th psych unit because he had started to talk and become more open.  .  He has been diagnosed with adjustment disorder with mixed emotions.  I have started going to therapy and I see that he is the same man i married.  He has the same behaviors he has always had and that no matter how hard i try to adjust for him he will never change.  Unfortunatly i got sweft up in the feeling of someone showing attention towards me that i fell for a selfish, self-absored guy that loves his family but we will never be a priority for him.  It is a very sad reality but it is what i am faced with now.  I am at a cross road right now; i can stay with him knowing that i will never get the type of relationship with him that i wish i had; or i can try to work up the corage to leave him and face being a single mother with my children going back a forth between to families.  We are starting couples therapy in a couple of weeks but apparently his therepist has told my theripist that I am his problem.  (of caourse she couldn't tell me that but she will say things everynow and  then.  This is also where I learned that i am valedated with many of my concerns and that he is Narcissism.  SO i feel better about things.  I would love for us to work and to remain married to him and keep our family in tact, but if he will never change and doesn't think he is a problem with our relationship i don't think i will every be treated like i think i should be... Please give me words of encoragment or advice. 

I am not making any descissions until we do a couple of joints couseling sessions... 

by on Jan. 27, 2009 at 2:35 PM
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by on Jan. 27, 2009 at 4:42 PM

IMO. you two need a good pillow fight. It won't be a fix all, but it will be fun for the moment. and sometimes that little moment of fun can open a door you didn't know was there. Forget the crap in life, forget the stresses, the depressions, just have fun for a moment.

If you want you can PM me too 

by on Jan. 27, 2009 at 5:30 PM

I know right!!! We have been having a date night 1x a week for about a month now that we are making a priority which is nice and helping.  We were not doing dates hardly at all but we are making it a effort now which is nice.  Thanks

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by Ruby Member on Jan. 28, 2009 at 11:34 AM



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