Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

CrossRoads...

Posted by on Jan. 27, 2009 at 2:35 PM
  • 3 Replies

I have been with my husband 10 years this september and married 5.  We currently have 2 children a 17 month old and a 2.5 year old.   I am currently at a crossroad in my relationship and am not sure if I have the corage to change anything ) or should just stay in this relationship knowing that unless I leave him nomatter how hard i try i will never be able to change his personality and in return know that i will never fully be happy.  I just don't know what to do...  For those of you who don't know I took my DH to the ER Thanksgivving day due to what turned out to be major depression (he stayed in the psych unit a week).  Anyway after a week he came home which in my opinion was way to soon and he see a dr. that prescribes his meds 1x a week and he see a talking therapist 1x a week.  He wasn't cleared for week until last week (so he was off work over a month).   He was prescibed Welbutrin and that was it... I am on more medications then him for anxiety... i am so emotionally tired and draind.   I just don't know what to do and how long ican keep this marrage going so one sided.  i am lonely.  I wish he was back in th psych unit because he had started to talk and become more open.  .  He has been diagnosed with adjustment disorder with mixed emotions.  I have started going to therapy and I see that he is the same man i married.  He has the same behaviors he has always had and that no matter how hard i try to adjust for him he will never change.  Unfortunatly i got sweft up in the feeling of someone showing attention towards me that i fell for a selfish, self-absored guy that loves his family but we will never be a priority for him.  It is a very sad reality but it is what i am faced with now.  I am at a cross road right now; i can stay with him knowing that i will never get the type of relationship with him that i wish i had; or i can try to work up the corage to leave him and face being a single mother with my children going back a forth between to families.  We are starting couples therapy in a couple of weeks but apparently his therepist has told my theripist that I am his problem.  (of caourse she couldn't tell me that but she will say things everynow and  then.  This is also where I learned that i am valedated with many of my concerns and that he is Narcissism.  SO i feel better about things.  I would love for us to work and to remain married to him and keep our family in tact, but if he will never change and doesn't think he is a problem with our relationship i don't think i will every be treated like i think i should be... Please give me words of encoragment or advice. 

I am not making any descissions until we do a couple of joints couseling sessions... 

by on Jan. 27, 2009 at 2:35 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-3):
Christy644
by on Jan. 27, 2009 at 4:42 PM

IMO. you two need a good pillow fight. It won't be a fix all, but it will be fun for the moment. and sometimes that little moment of fun can open a door you didn't know was there. Forget the crap in life, forget the stresses, the depressions, just have fun for a moment.

If you want you can PM me too 

jjlwallace
by on Jan. 27, 2009 at 5:30 PM

I know right!!! We have been having a date night 1x a week for about a month now that we are making a priority which is nice and helping.  We were not doing dates hardly at all but we are making it a effort now which is nice.  Thanks

CafeMom Admin
by Ruby Member on Jan. 28, 2009 at 11:34 AM

wave

Hi
jjwallace,

You may also want to visit these CafeMom Groups:

Advice for Moms

Marriage and relationships


If you have a question or would like to share advice with other moms, just click the "Answers" tab at the top of every page on CafeMom. You can use the search bar at the top of every page to search for specific information.

Enjoy the site!
\The CafeMom Admin Team

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)