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Am I doing the right thing...?

Posted by on Jan. 27, 2009 at 5:17 PM
  • 7 Replies

Well, my dd is 6.  A few weeks ago she was complaining on and off about her stomach hurting.  It got to the point that I ended up bringing her to the after hours clinic on a Saturday....  After some careful deduction and being told by the pediatrician that her tummy's soft, etc etc etc and she seems fine (no fever, vomiting, etc...) I realize that she's most likely causing the stomach cramps on her own.  She has learned how to fake burp, where she pulls air into her stomach and lets it back out.  I don't think she was getting all the air out and it caused her to have cramps.  We had a long talk about the fake burping and she hasn't been doing it since...at least as far as I know...NOR have I heard one more complaint about her stomach hurting.

So yesterday while doing hw, she told me her stomach was hurting.  She went to the bathroom, maybe her stool was a little soft but nothing else...so she came back to do her hw and ran off to the bathroom again.  I let her lay on the couch and gave her some cheerios and then she was practically bouncing off the walls so I made her do her hw.

Then today, we're doing her hw and all of a sudden her tummy hurts again.  I told her, well, you still need to get your hw done.  2 minutes later she wants to know if we can go for a walk when she's done.  I told her to stop talking and finish her hw... the MINUTE she's finished she's running all over the house acting like she's 100% A.O.K.!

I stop her and confront her because either she's lying about feeling good or lying about her stomach hurting.  She has to "think" about it for a minute and then says, I'm lying about feeling good? 

So she's in the shower now, at 5pm.  I'm going to feed her toast and then send her to bed.  I'm torn about whether she's lying to me about her stomach hurting.  I figure that if it IS hurting than it's better to send her to bed...and if she's lying about it, than being sent to bed by 6pm is TOTAL punishment...

I feel like I'm doing the right thing, and I'm not putting her in a corner for lying or anything... but I guess I need some validation?  What would you guys do in this situation....where you're not sure either way that your child is lying but is *pretty sure* that they are?

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by on Jan. 27, 2009 at 5:17 PM
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Replies (1-7):
DakotaRose
by on Jan. 27, 2009 at 5:22 PM

 Tummy aches call for toast, no butter, crackers, maybe chicken broth, no noodles.. staying in bed, no tv, no games, only time she should be up is to goto the bathroom and that should only take about 5 min. then back to bed.... make her miserable, if shes sick she wont complain

Supervane
by Platinum Member on Jan. 27, 2009 at 5:24 PM

so does the tummy always hurt when its homework time?

edenchai
by on Jan. 27, 2009 at 5:56 PM

That's my plan lol.  I just hate not believing her, which is why I think I have this huge *mean mommy* feeling right now. 

Though this happens extremely rarely, it does tend to happen during hw time.  and when I say rarely, I mean RARELY.  I do believe her about yesterday and her stomach hurting but I really think that today she tried it knowing that she got to stop doing her hw. 

Quoting DakotaRose:

 Tummy aches call for toast, no butter, crackers, maybe chicken broth, no noodles.. staying in bed, no tv, no games, only time she should be up is to goto the bathroom and that should only take about 5 min. then back to bed.... make her miserable, if shes sick she wont complain


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mooremom
by on Jan. 27, 2009 at 6:04 PM

You just have to teach them the difference between a lie and the truth and the consequences of their actions. Actually, it wouldn't hurt for you to check out that book, "The Boy Who Cried Wolf". I would also ask for other books related to truth and honesty.

BTW, I think you are right on. And I agree with the above poster about making it uncomfortable for her.

Mezmer
by on Jan. 27, 2009 at 6:08 PM

Agree.

Quoting DakotaRose:

 Tummy aches call for toast, no butter, crackers, maybe chicken broth, no noodles.. staying in bed, no tv, no games, only time she should be up is to goto the bathroom and that should only take about 5 min. then back to bed.... make her miserable, if shes sick she wont complain


                                                  ~*~Amanda~*~


Joanna_M
by on Jan. 27, 2009 at 6:13 PM

I think you've got the right idea here. Wheather she is lying or not this works perfectly and hopefully she'll figure out that she can't use it as an excuse.

If it helps I used to "feel sick"  at school everyday after lunch, when I was about her age so that my mom woud come pick me up and I could go home. Well, mom quickly wised up and when I went home I got tost and had to stay in bed all day. That put a stop to my shenanagins.

dragonfly24
by on Jan. 27, 2009 at 6:16 PM

ok, don't freak out when I tell you this but, my 10yr old went for about a year off and on with a stomach ache and he would fuss and whine and then be fine a few minutes later. I did an ER trip or two thinking it was appendix and they kept saying no he is ok. Well after several boughts of this almost a years worth he got sick one weekend, stomach hurting throwing up, fever etc we took him to the ER and they did an MRI and thought his appendix had some fluid around it and was concerned so they took him in for an appendectomy. When they got him open they discovered his appendix was fine and that what the problem was is that he had an intestinal band, all babies are born with them but they go away with age and his did not it had wrapped around his intestine pinching it off and we almost lost his intestine. We had caught it just in time. They went ahead and took out the appendix but Thank God we did what we did. I did the same thing you did and he would be constipated and sometimes he wouldn't be and he would have a stomach ache one minute and be fine the next so I thought he was trying to get attention. Just watch her and if it continues press for more tests.

TIA(31)  DH(38) T-MAN (10) T-BONE (5) LAYLA BUG 08-25-2008!!!!


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