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My SD is loosing control fast and I cant stop it, I'm FURIOUS!!! kindof long, some cursing.

Posted by on Jan. 27, 2009 at 7:36 PM
  • 132 Replies

 

Poll

Question: What should I do??

Options:

Just let it go momma and mind your own business.

Reinforce your rules...what goes for one goes for all.

Beat her butt!! Momma, shes 15..too young for him

Get over yourself. Shes not your kid. and shes 15, shes almost grown.


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Total Votes: 220

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 My step daughter is 15. She lives with her granny, but is here with us alot of the time. We found out a while back that she had been sneaking around with this 21 year old man..so when I told her daddy, he thew a big fit about it, like I did expect him to do...but then, as the time has gone by, he has been taking her to see him, his reasons being that as long as he is there with her he knows the guy cant try anything and that he will get tired of it and move around to someone else..And I can see where he might think that he is keeping her safe, but what I cant get him to understand..that she is already sexually active, has been for over a year, so if, or should I say when, she wants to go have sex with this man, do you really think she is going to be dumb enough to ask her naive daddy to take her??? Hell no, she is going to do what she was doing before he started taking her and sneak around with other people to get there......!!! Well, alot of times he will tell me he is going to go one place and turns out he takes her to see this guy, yes, I hate the lying....but I know he does it because he knows that if he tells me where he is going that I am going to start raggin on him about my beliefs........I cant help it...I belief that it is wrong on sooooo many levels!!!!

so I dont say too much to him about it, even though even when he lies to me, I already know where he is going, because she always calls and asks him while I'm around, like she is just rubbing it in or something....

Well, it hadnt been such a big problem until a week ago...

She was staying here at the house that night, to watch the kids while me and SO were at work, well, I get a phone call from a friend of mine that she had taken some things to my kids for their rooms to decorate here in the new house, and that she had that MAN HERE IN THE HOUSE ALONE WITH JUST HER AND MY KIDS!!!!! ok..so I lost my cool called her, and told her she better get that son of a bitch out of my house within the next 5 minutes, or I was calling her daddy. Well 30 minutes later here they all come walking in where I work and him buying them candy, icecream, soda, etc. ...........God, it made me sooooo mad!!!!! So I told her to get her little ass home, with the kids and that man had better hit the road as soon as he dropped them off...she said, Yes maam...

Then a little while later my friend stops by again and the asshole is still here!!! she tells him its time to go and he tells her he aint goin no where!!!!! So she stayed until he left, and then SO calls me at work because SD has called him crying.....so I told him that I dont care if she was crying, she disrespected my home, and disrespected my kids by having him there and disrespected us by waiting for everyone to go to work and calling him to come over!!

 

So, I had already been upset about that..then, 2 days ago, he calls me at my friends house and tells me he will be back in a little bit he was going to nacadoches to get his game fixed at game stop...to make a long story short, he calls me on his way back, and amber was with him so I asked did you get your game fixed, or did you take her to see that grown man ???? Well, we were discussing the situation and the little heifer wants to go blurt out...."I DONT KNOW WHY THE FUCK SHE IS WORRIED ABOUT IT, LAST TIME I CHECKED MY LAST NAME WAS ROSS, NOT WILLIAMS...."

OK.....LITTLE GIRL....I thought I was gonna loose it right then and there....cause I have been the only momma that this little girl has had for the past 4  years because her mom dont have nothing to do with her...and she wants to go and disrespect me like that???

Well, she had been talking about moving in with us ever since we moved to the new house 2 weeks ago...

and last night SO tells me that I can make other plans for her room because she has changed her mind about moving in if I am going to be such a controlling bitch!!! and thats fine with me...hell, if the only reason she wanted to move in here is because she thought that she was gonna get to fill a grown womans shoes and do what the hell she wants, she has another thing coming!! Im not that kind of mother, and the same rules that go for my children would go for her..and I wont be disrespected in my own home, rather she lives here or Not!!!!!

 

Now, dont get me wrong, I love her with all my heart, and I dont want her to hate me, but I dont agree with what she is doing and I refuse to back down....

any advise?

 

And let me add....if you want to bash me as a mother or my SO saying he is not a good father etc. etc...

save your breath....we are not bad parents......SO may need some direction in his ways...but he loves his kids and is not a bad father!!

 

 

Tha Name is Melissa. I am the mother of 3 lovely children, 2 boys and 1 girl. My DD is a SURVIVOR of sexual abuse, and we are dealing with some emotional problems due to it, but we will pull through like we always do. My favorite color is red. I love photography and photo manipulation. I am a member of several photo editing groups. I am not a girly girl, Most people say I am just plain Jane..but I like it that way. I am in a bi-racial relationship, and I believe that Love is not a color. I love my SO for who he is not for what color he is and I will not tolerate racial slurs against me or my children.




 







 

by on Jan. 27, 2009 at 7:36 PM
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Replies (1-10):
mooremom
by on Jan. 27, 2009 at 7:42 PM

Your husband is trying to be her friend and not a parent. She is going to end up pregnant and he is going to be known as grandpa.

torijadekylie
by on Jan. 27, 2009 at 7:42 PM

I wouldn't back down. But thats my opinion.

nanaT2
by on Jan. 27, 2009 at 7:43 PM

OTHER.....Kick both DH and SK out. You can't fix stupid 

jennie300
by on Jan. 27, 2009 at 7:43 PM

i have a 19 year old girl,and beleive me,it dosnt get any easier.i told my daughter,i am the queen of this fucking castle,and let her know strait up who is boss.i dont blame you for being pissed, thank god now she is going to collage,and has snapped out of it,but it was realy tuff for about 3 years,just stand firm,and dont back down.

AandCsmomBrandy
by on Jan. 27, 2009 at 7:46 PM

I would be calling the cops on the 21 y/o if I were you. does your husband not realize that he can legally get into trouble for allowing his DD to continue a relationship with someone that old (even a non-sexual one). who is he going to blame when she gets pregnant???

luv_my_xiya
by on Jan. 27, 2009 at 7:47 PM

lmao...so true

Quoting nanaT2:

OTHER.....Kick both DH and SK out. You can't fix stupid 




 

Mommy_to_CTN
by on Jan. 27, 2009 at 7:47 PM

I would be furious!  For one, I think it's sick that your SO is helping her have a relationship with a 21 year old man.  My dad would have seriously hurt the guy if it had been me.  Second, how dare her bring that man into your home.  You should have called the cops.  It is your home and he did not have your permission to me there so that is trespassing, not to mention statutory rape.  And for her to rub it in your face by showing up at your work with that man and YOUR KIDS is beyond disrespect.  I wouldn't trust her to watch your kids again and I would be glad she's not moving in with you.  She's a bad influence on your kids, especially if you have any girls.  You can't control if your SO taked her to see that man, but in your home, you absolutely have a say in what goes on.  If she brings him there again, call the cops.  Also, she sounds really trashing to be using that kind of language in regards to you.  I would be so mad at your SO for allowing her to disrespect you like that.

breastfeedingplaying soccer girlblowing bubbles

        Noelle                Caitlin                    Taylor

inluvwdross
by on Jan. 27, 2009 at 7:48 PM


Quoting mooremom:

Your husband is trying to be her friend and not a parent. She is going to end up pregnant and he is going to be known as grandpa.

I have already told him that ..she is already on BC that granny got her put on.....but hubby already knows what happens, hell he has 4 of his own, and his oldest is already a mother and he has a 5 year old granddaughter that he never gets to see bcause she didnt like the way he tried to tell her what to do........so he knows....

I dont wanna have to raise another child, and that is what is going to happen, but Im not just saying for me, I was a teen mother, and I know how hard it is..I dont want that for her.

Tha Name is Melissa. I am the mother of 3 lovely children, 2 boys and 1 girl. My DD is a SURVIVOR of sexual abuse, and we are dealing with some emotional problems due to it, but we will pull through like we always do. My favorite color is red. I love photography and photo manipulation. I am a member of several photo editing groups. I am not a girly girl, Most people say I am just plain Jane..but I like it that way. I am in a bi-racial relationship, and I believe that Love is not a color. I love my SO for who he is not for what color he is and I will not tolerate racial slurs against me or my children.




 







 

starleigh21
by on Jan. 27, 2009 at 7:51 PM

 Screw that!!! If it was one of my step-daughters, i'd be calling cps, the police, anyone who would do anything, and if dad got mad at me OH WELL!!! He can hit the road too, like the above said, you can't fix stupid! What's daddy gonna do when 15 year old daughter comes home knocked up and he didn't do any preventive measures!!!!!

katzmeow726
by on Jan. 27, 2009 at 7:52 PM

Frankly I'd call the cops on this guy.

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