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Marital problems...kinda long

Posted by on Jan. 27, 2009 at 10:46 PM
  • 17 Replies

So, I have a 6 year old and a 7 month old, I have been married for over a year.


This morning I asked my husband why we dont ever find time to be "together". He says bcuz we have two kids, he still finds me attractive and so on.

Tonight, we get into a big argument bcuz I asked him to thro the rag he threw up in (babys poop diaper smell made him gag) into the laundry on his way to bed, he calls me mean. I asked what was mean about that? HE just says youre such a bitch. I keep cleaning the kitchen and toss the babys toy into his high chair. I guess DH thought that was mean again, so he throws the tv remote and storms out saying bitch and so on. So like an idiot I follow him outside and ask WTH? He just says I am immature, spoiled, bitch, who is too dense to get it. I ask him to explain what I was doing that was mean, he says he cant put it into words. But, I am just neer going to change and a stupid bitch who is too dumb to understand. Then I tell him to quit using me as his dishrag, the person who loves me most is not supposed to say hateful things to you. He tells me not to talk to him that way. And that we dont ever have sex bcuz I am a bitch, and he storms off.

I am just so confused, how can everything always be my fault. I am starting to feel really bad about myself, and well I could go on for days.

I love him and of course dont want to lose him. He is so perfect sometimes, being so kind and loving. Others, a monster....he has BiPolar disorder. I just dont know what to think.

But, I hate walking on eggshells, keeping the kids quiet so he doesnt snap, neer saying how I feel  or hurt not to cause a fight. All alone..........


by on Jan. 27, 2009 at 10:46 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Ms.Dean
by on Jan. 27, 2009 at 10:50 PM

No husband should ever call his wife a stupid bitch. SOunds like he is an ass and maybe you should either A. seek counseling so amybe he can learn to behave properly B. Kick his ass to the curb. Good luck with everything.

WrknMommy
by on Jan. 27, 2009 at 10:55 PM

Thanks for the reply. I just dont know what the heck to think. I dont believe in divorce, I hate hurting, but want to fix it. I think counseling is a good option

redautumn2
by on Jan. 27, 2009 at 10:56 PM

He is way out of line with the way he is talking to you.  Of course, I don't know how you talk to him...but wow, I can't imagine my hubby saying such things and living through it...LOL.

mindyannjohnson
by on Jan. 27, 2009 at 10:58 PM

I'm sorry you are having a tough time. My marriage has been pretty sucky lately. Did he have a bad day at work or is he stressed out about something? Is he taking his meds regularly? If he is like this ALL of the time, maybe his meds need to be adjusted.

Don't feel bad about yourself. You did NOT do anything wrong!

JMVITT
by on Jan. 27, 2009 at 10:58 PM

You shouldn't let him talk to you that way and if he does have Bi-Polar is he not taking his meds to control it?  I have a friend with the disorder and she never steps out of line unless she means it because she is medicated.  I sure hope it's him being dumb and not taking his meds.  I would definatly seek counseling and if that doesn't work it wasn't meant to be.  I am sorry you are going through this!

WrknMommy
by on Jan. 27, 2009 at 11:00 PM

You know I have even told him after fights in a calm manner that I do not like name calling, and I have NEVER called him any name...it is the biggest disrespect.


He obviously doesnt care, bcuz everytime he gets mad, the names come out.....

Tonight was the first time in fight, I told him to quit using me as a rag, talking to me that way.

It felt good, but it will never stop

HopeMamma
by on Jan. 27, 2009 at 11:00 PM

I think that is very uncalled for. Because he is bipolar though I can understand it only because my sisters mom has that and she is the same way. It only gets worse though and it is very scary at times. I think you should try counseling and maybe see if there are any meds he can be taking to help that if not then I would say do what is best for you and your kids you don't want them around that and you don't want him to start that with the kids either. I hope things get better for you and your family. Do what is best for your kids first and you!!!

jenr97
by on Jan. 27, 2009 at 11:01 PM
I'm so sorry you have to try to deal with this. If he's BiPolar, has he been diagnosed, and is he on meds? One of our friends is now, and he doesn't have those horrible mood swings anymore, but I know 2 others who aren't on medication, and their's can be bad. I've also heard that they can control it with their diet, maybe when he's calm again he would be willing to try. The one we know on his medication almost lost his wife and kids. That's what made him go to the doctor. She was ready to leave. I hope he gets better for all of you. Jennifer
WrknMommy
by on Jan. 27, 2009 at 11:02 PM

He takes lithium, and it just seems to work for awhile and then tapers off, like his dosage needs to be changed, they added wellbutrin, but it doesnt help.

He has big anger issues, beats people up and gets in trouble for his bad attitute and temper all the time...so I guess it cant all be me huh!

WrknMommy
by on Jan. 27, 2009 at 11:05 PM

The thing is, he doesnt believe he is eer the problem, never aplogizes....says its me me me me


But, sometimes, most times, he is sweet, silly, calls me and tells me how much he loves me, it is jekyll and hyde...........arggggggggg

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