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Today I Will Pee!!! PIOG

Posted by on Jan. 27, 2009 at 11:05 PM
  • 20 Replies


There are many books telling you that pregnancy is the best time of your life.

This is not one of them.

Sometimes pregnancy sucks hardcore.

Some women spend more time hugging a toilet than their partner.
They go through eight emotions in the course of an hour.
They can't sit in chairs with wheels because their center of gravity is way, way off.
I have felt their pain.

Hopefully this book will make them laugh and realize that they are not alone.

And if you're one of them, force your partner to get you a pre-natal massage.
If they refuse, make their lives miserable.

(Also: congratulations!  You may be suffering now, but trust me, Motherhood is an incredible experience.
I wouldn't change it for the world.)

Today I will pee.
Every ten minutes I will drop all and flee
To the nearest lavatory or rest stop you see,
My bladder is smooshed, so today I will pee.

Today I will hurl.
I will hug the commode and watch the water swirl
As my intestines and stomach violently churl.
Doctor says it's a good thing.  Today I will hurl.


Today I will cry.
I will sob for an hour, with no idea why.
Don't make me feel better, you can't!  You're a guy!
My hormones are raging!  Today I will cry.

 


Today I will eat.
Ice cream, corn chips, pickles, and meat.
My gorging will seem an incredible feat!
This kid must be starving, so today I will eat.


Today I will not poo.
I'll sit and I'll sit and won't know what to do.
I've eaten four apples, had a salad too.
At least it's not hemorrhoids!  Today I will not poo.


Today I will sleep.
Look in on me at noon, I'll still be down deep
In a coma of some kind, so don't make a peep.
It's hard growing a person! Today I will sleep.


Today I will swell.
My shoes will not fit, my bra won't as well.
I'll curse at my jeans and condemn them to Hell.
It's only the baby, right?  Today I will swell.


Today I will nest.
I'll work in the nursery for hours without rest.
I'll fuss over curtains.  Baby must have the best.
Ooh, help me fold teeny jammies!  Today I will nest.


Today I will freak
On Childbirth TV it's "disaster week"
I called my OB and I started to shriek.
"Turn that crap off!" she said.  Today I will freak.

Take a guess...have some fun...see if you win.
http://www.expectnet.com/games/NoahHayse


by on Jan. 27, 2009 at 11:05 PM
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Replies (1-10):
MommyRivera
by on Jan. 27, 2009 at 11:07 PM

I love it! 

 



Ashlee-Mommy to Dallas, Gabriel, and baby on the way!


 


 


 


nonna
by on Jan. 27, 2009 at 11:07 PM

Soooo cute! 


Krystiana ~ Loving wifey to Nick, Momma to Juliana,
Stepmomma to Lillyana,
and growing a boy. EDD-2/20/09

briana_paige
by on Jan. 27, 2009 at 11:08 PM

I love that!

ms_mommy_sue
by on Jan. 27, 2009 at 11:08 PM

 That made me laugh, and reminded me why 2 was enough! lol

 

TessyCat
by on Jan. 27, 2009 at 11:09 PM

I love it! I must get it for all of my preggo friends LMAO

 

 

momofeddienseb
by on Jan. 27, 2009 at 11:11 PM

Thats really cute and true lol

Blinkie Maker
NursePaige
by on Jan. 27, 2009 at 11:58 PM

And yet people still ask me why I only have one. LOL. That was really cute.

typingLearn how to save money, use coupons, and find great deals at http://moneysavingstar.blogspot.com/  See you there!

KittyD
by on Jan. 27, 2009 at 11:59 PM


Quoting nonna:

Soooo cute! 


KittyD ~ Stop By My Page & Sign my Guest Book!

melskidsrgreat
by on Jan. 28, 2009 at 12:02 AM

haha! i'm so emailing that to my sister!  =)


LaNette000
by on Jan. 28, 2009 at 12:02 AM

 LOL, Like the cartoon!

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