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like really, why me?!

Posted by on Jan. 27, 2009 at 11:59 PM
  • 11 Replies

ugh, im ganna rant here...

im so tired of always being sick. when i was 16 i got pregnant, i ended up with pre eclampsia. i had my daughter a month early due to my kidneys and liver failing, my blood pressure being so high and all the weight gain (which is normal for pre eclampsia) since i had that my health is horrable. i had to have a csection because my uterus is so tilted. it even bothers me to have sex. but w/e. im now 20 and since having my daughter i had horrable pains in my right ribs. doctors always told me i was fine and that it was nothing, well it was, i had biliary diskensia. a disease which causes a muscle to not work properly. it would block my bile duct and my bile would flow back into my gallbladder causing a gallbladder attack a couple times a week causing me to go to the hospital or sleep by a toilet crying for years. now i have my gallbladder removed and i dont have gallbladder attacks anymore, but i still barf bile and have really bad dieria, i hate this heart burn, i hate this acid reflux, i have it everyday. there is nothing more they can do for me besides remove my stomach and feed me threw tubes because on top of that, i have a motility disorder which causes my stomach to digest slow. NOW ive been getting back pains. its my kidneys. i got a really bad kidney infection that makes me pee myself! ive had these on and off since i was four. i see a urologist and now i need surgery again! because my uterus is squishing my bladder making my urine go back up into my kidneys causing pain everyday in my back. it never ends! im so tired of being sick, overweight and i have so much trouble lousing weight. ive been working out everyday and only drinking water and eating healthy... well because i cant eat or drink anything unhealthy or im in pain. like now. sometimes, i just want to hide in a corner and cry. i want everything to be okay. i want to be healthy for my daughter. i hate to have my daughter see me cry everyday because of some sort of pain. my 2 1/2 year daughter tries so hard to help me out that i cry because she doesnt want me to get up with out her helping me. she cries everytime im in the hospital.  its horrable. and i also now have to see a rhumatologist sp? they think i have arthritis cuz of joint pain. now that all this health crap is going on im depressed. so very depressed. but i should be happy. even though im in all this pain, i work two jobs with two ladies who have cerebal palsy and have to deal with so much more then me and they still smile everyday and make it threw. i need words of wisdom or encouragment or just something. maybe a nice joke to make me smile or tell me your health issues, so i know im not alone.

i also just want to say that i dont want to kill myself, i dont want anyone to take it that i want kill myself.


I love my baby girl Jasmine Rose. blowing bubbles

by on Jan. 27, 2009 at 11:59 PM
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Replies (1-10):
MikeysMom51108
by on Jan. 28, 2009 at 12:01 AM

Wow--that's a lot to have to deal with. I'm sorry.

I don't even really know what to say to make you feel better....Good luck.

JAX_Mami
by on Jan. 28, 2009 at 12:04 AM

i'm sorry mama. sending lots of hugs and prayers your way. here's a video that always makes me laugh...hopefully it will do the same for you.=)


                          

BUT

mamapotter
by on Jan. 28, 2009 at 12:05 AM

I belong to a couple of groups here of mom's living with chronic diseases or debilitating conditions.  I'm not sure if I'm allowed to link you or tell you the name, because I am not an admin for them.  However, if you search under groups, you could probably find one.  I've gotten some great support there. I am a cancer survivor, heart attack victim, and am recovering from quadrple bypass, among other things. 

Dr. Phil said that the secret to inner peace was to finish everything you started.  So I looked around the house, finished the book I wanted to read, my old Prozac prescription, the rest of the cheesecake, and a bottle of Jack Daniels.  You wouldn't believe how calm I am now.
Sharon300
by Sharon on Jan. 28, 2009 at 12:06 AM

I am sorry you are having to go through this. Nothing I can say will make it better, so here is a hug.

foreverdream105
by on Jan. 28, 2009 at 12:11 AM

thanks, i will look it up. must of been hard having all that.

Quoting mamapotter:

I belong to a couple of groups here of mom's living with chronic diseases or debilitating conditions.  I'm not sure if I'm allowed to link you or tell you the name, because I am not an admin for them.  However, if you search under groups, you could probably find one.  I've gotten some great support there. I am a cancer survivor, heart attack victim, and am recovering from quadrple bypass, among other things. 



I love my baby girl Jasmine Rose. blowing bubbles

nikieis
by on Jan. 28, 2009 at 12:12 AM

you really have a whole lot on your plate. i know how you feel i have fibro and it causes everything to hurt so damn bad  i have to drag myself out of bed . i have bladder issues ,bowel issues,back issues,female issues that i just had a hysterectomy for besides all the other things that go along with the fibro. the fibro has robbed me from a normal life with my family. i feel your pain . please just remember that there is always someone to talk to.

foreverdream105
by on Jan. 28, 2009 at 12:12 AM

lol thanks!

Quoting JAX_Mami:

i'm sorry mama. sending lots of hugs and prayers your way. here's a video that always makes me laugh...hopefully it will do the same for you.=)



I love my baby girl Jasmine Rose. blowing bubbles

bphockeymom20
by on Jan. 28, 2009 at 12:18 AM

 OMG, I have had the same pains in my stomach and it has gone undiagnosed for almost 2 years now. I wake up in pain every morning and throwing up. I actually just stopped having pains like 10 minutes ago, but I feel like I'm gonna throw up. I am in and out of the hospital all the time for this, IDK they need to figure it out. Having kids really does damage your body. I had my gall bladder out 2 months after my daughter was born, but I still feel like I am having the gall bladder attacks when I have the pains. I don't understand it. And I have been to many doctors who have been unable to diangnose what the hell is wrong with me. If you ever want to chat about all of it with someone who feels some of your pain I am here to listen. I hope you start feeling better soon.

BDolphins82
by on Jan. 28, 2009 at 12:24 AM

i know what your talking about.  I have Crohns Disease which affects your whole digestive system and there are days when I am on the toilet all the time.  Sometimes with not much warning.  Although when i was pregnant the disease went into remission for the 40 weeks and i was able to eat anything i wanted and enjoy it.

about2beamommy
by on Jan. 28, 2009 at 12:28 AM

hi hun i dont really have any advice other than stay strong i know its hard and that ur in alot of pain but pray about it and God will take care of it hope u feel better and ur in my thoughts and prayers

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