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Drinking Problem...

Posted by on Feb. 5, 2009 at 10:54 AM
  • 7 Replies

So my fiance and i talked last night and he finally told me he had a drinking problem. I've known, its not like it was a big secret but time and time before i've asked him to stop drinking and he didn't. I guess last night was it, when HE decided to quit drinking. I told him i'd be there for him and help him as much as i can and to support him. We talked about different ways to sort of ''trade in'' the habit for another one but he said he had tried them before. He's not totally against AA classes but he doesn't see how the whole ''hi my name is blah blah and i'm a alcolholic'' works. DOES ANYONE HAVE ANY IDEAS?! ANYTHING WOULD HELP!

I'am a vaccinating, co-sleeping, once breastfed now formula feeding, swear word user, disposable diapering, tattoo'd, school going, fast food eating, ear piercing, hair dying, stay at home mother of 1 beautiful little girl!!


by on Feb. 5, 2009 at 10:54 AM
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by on Feb. 5, 2009 at 10:56 AM

There are other programs other than AA out there.  AA doesn't work for everyone.  My best advice is to do some online research and see what you can find.  Good luck to both of you!  As a child of an alcoholic I know how hard it can be.


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by on Feb. 5, 2009 at 10:57 AM

AA is so much more than just introducing yourself. You have other alcoholics there who know what you are going through and that can be a big help. While you are there to help him I think it would make a better difference if someone who knew what it was like to be there. Ya know? Also, it's not just about getting sober but making your life better in general. Good luck to the both of you. It will be a long hard road. He's lucky to have you sticking by him!

by on Feb. 5, 2009 at 11:04 AM

My ex-fiance was an alcoholic, unfortunately he also felt that AA was not going to help either. He passed away January,18th 2008 trying to cross the street after being at the bar most of the day. He was trying to catch the bus to go to his girlfriends house and was killed from blunt force trauma to the chest. The bmw that hit him was going 45 miles an hour and the driver was not licensed and was speeding, he should of been going 30 miles an hour. The impact threw my ex 125 ft. and he was still alive after but the people who watched this happen just stood there and waited to call 911. Sadly it is no ones fault but his own for being in the street however it takes just one second to loose everything. Your fiance really needs to see how bad drinking actually is and he has to want to stop for himself before anything. AA can help him meet other people who have the same feelings he will be going through and frustrations of learning how to start a new life. Those people can help him if he lets them but most men cannot put aside their pride long enough to share their feelings in a group.

by on Feb. 5, 2009 at 11:09 AM

My EX was a major alchoholic. I went to meetings with him and therapy with him and did everything besides stand on my head to help him, but he didnt really want to quit so none of it worked. I would say that even if he decides not to go to AA (which might seem cheesey but it is all about support), then he needs to maybe find someone he knows who has battled the same problem and have that person be someone he can call and meet for coffee when he is struggling. Mainly he needs support, and dont be hard on him if he doesnt succeed ther first time, it is a process and he will battle this for a long time. Let him know that you see a positive change in his bahvior and that it helps you to be closer, so he can see the positive affect he is having on all of you. Good luck, and like I said try to just be supportive whenever he needs it.

by on Feb. 5, 2009 at 11:09 AM

I've been sober for almost 5 years. I didn't do AA, my husband did. I guess for me, after being sober for about a week, I realized I liked myself sober. You might want to look into a treatment center. I believe that most states have state funded ones. I would make sure to tell him how proud of him you are for realizing he has a problem. That is the first step and the hardest.
He is going to have to change his playground completely. Once I quit drinking, I realized I didn't have any friends. I always had drinking friends that would buy me a drink, but I would rather have been friendless, than put myself back into that place again. Sorry this went so long, if you need anything let me know. Good luck!

by on Feb. 5, 2009 at 11:12 AM

I am an alcoholic. Quitting is not easy... TRUST ME! For me, AA does not work.... but I know it does for MANY MANY people. Personally, I just had to quit and resist the urge... and it's not easy sometimes... especially when going to a concert or a nice dinner... but it's worth it... there are times I have fallen and had a drink or two... but I have to focus on my kids and my husband and know if I keep drinking I will kill myself!


by on Feb. 5, 2009 at 4:14 PM

 Thank you everyone! For all of your advice!

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