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Haha..having a bad day/night??...

Posted by on Feb. 13, 2009 at 4:46 AM
  • 5 Replies

Ok so i was reading threw my old post and seen this one that i had posted a long time ago. i never posted it in this group..some of you may have read it already.but it still cracked me up! lol iv'e been having a horrible past couple of days..so please post anything you'd like that is funny...lets try to keep this post going..((i suck at keeping post alive! LOL))



When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on someone you don't know. The other day I remembered a phone call I'd forgotten to make. I found the number and dialed it. A man answered, saying "Hello." I politely said, "This is Dick. Could I please speak with Chuck?" Suddenly a manic voice yelled out in my ear, "Get the right f***ing number!" and the phone was slammed down on me.

I couldn't believe that anyone could be so rude. When I tracked down Chuck's correct number to call him, I found that I had accidentally transposed the last two digits. After hanging up with Chuck, I decided to call the 'wrong' number again. When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled, "You're an asshole!" and hung up.

I wrote his number down with the word 'asshole' next to it, and put it in my desk drawer. Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or had a really bad day, I'd call him up and yell, "You're an asshole!" It always cheered me up. When Caller ID was introduced, I thought my therapeutic "asshole calling" would have to stop.

So, I called his number and said, "Hi, this is John Smith from Verizon. I'm calling to see if you're familiar with our Caller ID Program." He yelled, "No!" and slammed down the phone. I quickly called him back and said, "That's because you're an asshole!"

One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking spot. Some guy in a black BMW cut me off and pulled into the spot I had patiently waited for. I hit the horn and yelled that I had been waiting for that spot, but the idiot ignored me. I noticed a "For Sale" sign in his back window which included his phone number, so I wrote down the number.

A couple of days later, right after calling the first asshole (I had his number on speed dial) I thought That I'd better call the BMW asshole, too. I said, "Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?" "Yes, it is", he said.

"Can you tell me where I can see it?" I asked.

"Yes, I live at 34 Mowbray Boulevard. It's a yellow house, and the car's parked right out front."

"What's your name?" I asked.

"My name is Don Hansen," he said.

"When's a good time to catch you, Don?"

"I'm home every evening after five."

"Listen, Don, can I tell you something?"

"Yes."

"Don, you're an asshole!" Then I hung up and added his number to my speed dial, too.

Now, when I had a problem, I had two assholes to call.

Then I came up with an idea. I called Asshole 1.

"Hello."

"You're an asshole!" (But I didn't hang up.)

"Are you still there?" he asked.

"Yeah," I said.

"Stop calling me," he screamed.

"Make me," I said.

"Who are you?" he asked.

"My name is Don Hansen."

"Yeah? Where do you live?"

"Asshole, I live at 34 Mowbray Blvd, a yellow house with my black Beamer parked in front."
He said, "I'm coming over right now, Don. And you had better start saying your prayers."

I said, "Yeah, like I'm really scared, asshole." and hung up.
Then I called Asshole 2.

"Hello?" he said.

"Hello, asshole," I said.

He yelled, "If I ever find out who you are….."

"You'll what?" I said.

"I'll kick your ass," he exclaimed.

I answered, "Well, here's your chance. I'm coming over right now."
Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying that I lived at 34 Mowbray Blvd. and that I was on my way over there to kill my gay lover. Then I called Channel 9 News about the gang war going down on Mowbray Blvd.

I quickly got into my car and headed over to Mowbray. I got there just in time to watch two assholes beating the crap out of each other in front of six cop cars, an overhead police helicopter and a news crew.

NOW I feel much better. Anger management really works…..

Lilypie 2nd Birthday Ticker



by on Feb. 13, 2009 at 4:46 AM
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Replies (1-5):
brice08
by on Feb. 13, 2009 at 4:50 AM

Haha...too funny... I don't have anything funny right now though lol.. i just got off the phone with you an hour ago and showered and my ass is about to crash!! I do have funny ones saved in my e-mail so I will def. post them when I wake up !! Night Momma

iluvmybaby175
by on Feb. 13, 2009 at 4:57 AM

hehe alright i'll be looking for them in the morning! i also have a few more saved somewhere else..just gotta find them too! LOL ...maybe this post will make it?? but seeing as both of us  "post killers" are on it ...it might not go any farther LMAO..I'll be up for another hour or so ((seeing if i get a call from korea! [[army friend]] so i hope more people reply and keep me entertained! lol......Goodnight

Quoting brice08:

Haha...too funny... I don't have anything funny right now though lol.. i just got off the phone with you an hour ago and showered and my ass is about to crash!! I do have funny ones saved in my e-mail so I will def. post them when I wake up !! Night Momma


Lilypie 2nd Birthday Ticker



milmiracle
by on Feb. 13, 2009 at 5:02 AM

I learned so many years ago, don't even remember how many since it seems like ages, that there is never a bad day or night.  There are bad situations and I make the best of them.  U can always take an extremely bad situation and make it into a good one, learn from it, be grateful it's not as bad as our neighbor's etc. etc.  Personally bad situations are my specialty and after careful consideration I make so much good of it people don't want to leave my side, or want to be my best friends forever, im the picky one, LOL.  Soooo, make the best of it like I do.  Take care and enjoy.

iluvmybaby175
by on Feb. 13, 2009 at 5:04 AM

thanks,i know it can always be worst.iv'e never once doubted that.it's just stressful,so i'd like to have a good laugh to be able to relieve some of that stress??

Quoting milmiracle:

I learned so many years ago, don't even remember how many since it seems like ages, that there is never a bad day or night.  There are bad situations and I make the best of them.  U can always take an extremely bad situation and make it into a good one, learn from it, be grateful it's not as bad as our neighbor's etc. etc.  Personally bad situations are my specialty and after careful consideration I make so much good of it people don't want to leave my side, or want to be my best friends forever, im the picky one, LOL.  Soooo, make the best of it like I do.  Take care and enjoy.


Lilypie 2nd Birthday Ticker



iluvmybaby175
by on Feb. 13, 2009 at 3:48 PM

bump

Lilypie 2nd Birthday Ticker



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