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What would you do?-Need advice...please.

Posted by on Feb. 13, 2009 at 12:26 PM
  • 6 Replies

I'm trying to help my friend, but I have no idea what to tell her.  Her and her husband are recently divorced and he is minimally involved with the kids.  She has sole custody and is really struggling with a lot of things.  Her older son (6 years) is acting out and being destructive and violent.  Problem is, most of it is happening at school and the school hasn't been notifying her.  He has a behavior calendar that his teacher is supposed to mark everyday and she might mark it once a week..sometimes on a good day, sometimes on a bad, but there's never a description of the bad behavior.  The other day, the teacher sent home a note about him hitting and kicking other students and telling them he would do it harder if they complained...first thing any one has heard anything about anything specific.  Wednesday, he brought home his purple folder (which we have only seen once before...I watch him before and after school).  I was flipping through the old pages and there was something about him stabbing another student with a pencil!  No phone call home, no note sent home the day it happened...NOTHING.  Yesterday, for some reason, her ex-husband called the school.  Yes, he is the child's father, but the school knows they are divorced and that they are not to give him any information.  He's not even on the emergency contat cards, he's not allowed to pick the kids up from school or anything.  And the school told him everything, including issues that the mother was not even aware of.  Obviously, this caused problems with the two of them.  They work together and he just confronted her at work and bombarded her with all this information that she didn't even know.  She called the school to ask what happened and the secretary said "sorry".  Apparently, they lost his yellow card...AGAIN.  She filled it out when she registered her son at the school and then again after we had a lock down when there were armed bank robbers on the loose in the area.  Instead of trying to find the card, they just told the husband everything.  Do you think she has any recourse against the school?  What do you think she should do?  I have no idea what to tell her!  I'm not divorced, I don't have kids in school, I don't know what I would do.


by on Feb. 13, 2009 at 12:26 PM
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Replies (1-6):
mamaoftwins9197
by on Feb. 13, 2009 at 12:36 PM

BUMP


Expectingpeanut
by on Feb. 13, 2009 at 12:37 PM

She needs to go talk to the school board.  The fact of the matter has nothing to do with if it is right or wrong that the father be notified but that there was a HUGE safety policy breeched.  I would go raise hell with the principal and the superintendent.  My mom has done it before and lo and behold the person we had a problem with was fired.

thisloveofmine
by on Feb. 13, 2009 at 12:38 PM

I would take him out of that school.


mamaoftwins9197
by on Feb. 13, 2009 at 12:43 PM

Yeah, she did ask the secretary about that, the security policy, and the secretary just kept saying "sorry".  Should she talk to the principal first, or just by-pass and go straight to the school board?

Quoting Expectingpeanut:

She needs to go talk to the school board.  The fact of the matter has nothing to do with if it is right or wrong that the father be notified but that there was a HUGE safety policy breeched.  I would go raise hell with the principal and the superintendent.  My mom has done it before and lo and behold the person we had a problem with was fired.



mamaoftwins9197
by on Feb. 13, 2009 at 12:43 PM

I don't know if that's an option, but I will bring that idea up!  Thanks!

Quoting thisloveofmine:

I would take him out of that school.



mamaoftwins9197
by on Feb. 13, 2009 at 3:48 PM

bump


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