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HELP! I don't know what to do with him and feel like an awful mom...*PIOG*

Posted by on Feb. 13, 2009 at 4:08 PM
  • 5 Replies

My son will be 3 in May and is completely out of control.  I'm so tired of him hitting, biting, kicking, and clawing me, his dad, or his baby brother whenever he doesn't get his way.  He won't listen to anything and I'm tired of it.  I've tried timeout, sitting down and talking to him about his behavior, although I was totally against it, hubby has tried spanking.  We've also tried taking away priviledges, doing a reward system where if he does something we ask he gets some sort of reward (a Hot Wheels car or something like that), I've also tried taking away toys when he's being awful, but nothing works.  I thought maybe it was a jealousy thing, so I make sure to set aside some time every day to do something with just the two of us, either at home or I take him somewhere fun, but that hasn't made a difference either.  I'm tired of being a punching bag and I feel completely helpless.  His pediatrician was not helpful at all and just blew off my concerns like I was overreacting to his behavior.  I understand a few tantrums are normal, but not beating the living shit out of everyone around you constantly.  What am I doing wrong?  I feel like a complete failure as a parent.

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by on Feb. 13, 2009 at 4:08 PM
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Replies (1-5):
mom22gr8boys
by on Feb. 13, 2009 at 4:10 PM

maybe you need to see a different pediatrician..are there any problems in the family?do you trust everyone that he may come into contact with?

sapphiresoda
by on Feb. 13, 2009 at 4:13 PM

My family lives in another state, so he has only met them once when he was 3 months old.  My husband's family lives here, but we rarely see them due to schedule conflicts.  For the most part, I trust his family, but neither one of the kids has ever been alone with any of them.  I'm actually in the process of finding a new pediatrician for my kids because of our last appointment where I brought up my concerns and he brushed me off. 

Quoting mom22gr8boys:

maybe you need to see a different pediatrician..are there any problems in the family?do you trust everyone that he may come into contact with?


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iheartmyshaman
by on Feb. 13, 2009 at 4:16 PM

Forget a pediatrician.  Get a psychiatrist that specializes in child behavior.  They'll help you curb this kind of stuff.

When he hits you, honey, you put him in his room, shut the door, and hold it shut if you need to.  If he's going to throw a fit you don't give in and try to pacify him.  If he acts up, ignore him.  I do that with my daughter, and once she figures out what she's doing isn't getting her attention, she bucks up real quick.

Quoting sapphiresoda:

My family lives in another state, so he has only met them once when he was 3 months old.  My husband's family lives here, but we rarely see them due to schedule conflicts.  For the most part, I trust his family, but neither one of the kids has ever been alone with any of them.  I'm actually in the process of finding a new pediatrician for my kids because of our last appointment where I brought up my concerns and he brushed me off. 

Quoting mom22gr8boys:

maybe you need to see a different pediatrician..are there any problems in the family?do you trust everyone that he may come into contact with?

 


LauraKW
by on Feb. 14, 2009 at 9:38 AM

I would suggest a behavioral or developmental pediatrician.  My son was the same way - we suspected ADHD even at that young age.  We were stunned when he was actually diagnosed with PDD-NOS (on the autism spectrum).  I'm not trying to freak you out, but if there is something going on with your son it is better to find out as early as possible.  And if everything is fine, they should be able to help you find ways to curb the behavior.  Good luck.

FDNYwife
by on Feb. 14, 2009 at 9:40 AM

 I had similar issues with my son.  I have to say in all honesty watching super nanny has helped me.. Im not always perfect with this, but consistency and routine seems to be the key.  Time outs and taking away privileges seem to work.  Try to take him calmly to time out, explain to him once why hes there and then ignore him until his time is up.. I think timeouts are easiest for me in their bedrooms, however I did see a super nanny where she said its good to have timeouts where they can still see whats going on, what theyre missing out on.. If he keeps getting up, keep putting him back without saying a word.  It works for me now!! YAY!  Now that my son is older I take away his X-box controller, his leapsters and his DS until his timeout is over and he earns it back.. Now that hes in school  I work with the school psychologist and teacher to create a behavior plan.  Every day he comes home I check it.  If he has 5 perfect days at school he gets to choose anything he wants to do for the weekend. (For example bowling, movies) Its been working!  My son also has ADHD and Tourettes Syndrome. 

I would also take him to a different pediatrician if they are blowing you off and find a psychologist that is covered by your insurance.  Good Luck!!

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