Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Friday Funnies! (may offend)

Posted by on Feb. 13, 2009 at 6:16 PM
  • 11 Replies

by on Feb. 13, 2009 at 6:16 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
bjbaby1
by on Feb. 13, 2009 at 6:17 PM

Haha, the first one is funny..gross, but funny

 

jcsmummy
by on Feb. 13, 2009 at 6:23 PM

 

momgirlsx2
by on Feb. 13, 2009 at 10:36 PM


Two elderly women were eating breakfast in a restaurant one morning. Ethel noticed something funny about Mabel's ear and she said, ''Mabel, do you know you've got a suppository in your left ear?' 

Mabel answered, 'I have a suppository in my ear?' 

She pulled it out and stared at it. Then she said, 'Ethel, I'm glad you saw this thing. Now I think I know where to find my hearing aid.' 






When the husband finally died his wife put the usual death notice in the paper, but added that he died of gonorrhea. No sooner were the papers delivered when a friend of the family phoned and complained bitterly, 'You know very well that he died of diarrhea, not gonorrhea.' 

Replied the widow, 'I nursed him night and day so of course I know he died of diarrhea, but I thought it would be better for posterity to remember him as a great lover rather than the big shit he always was.' 









A funeral service is being held for a woman who has just passed away. At the end of the service, the pall bearers are carrying the casket out when they accidentally bump into a wall, jarring the casket. They hear a faint moan. They o pen the casket a nd find that the w oman is actually alive! She lives for ten more years, and then dies. Once again, a ceremony is held, and at the end of it, the pall bearers are again carrying out the casket. As they carry the casket towards the door, the husband cries out, 'Watch that wall!' 





When I went to lunch today, I noticed an old lady sitting on a park bench sobbing her eyes out. I stopped and asked her what was wrong. She said, 'I have a 22 year old husband at home. He makes love to me every morning and then gets up and makes me pancakes, sausage, fresh fruit and freshly ground coffee.' 

I said, 'Well, then why are you crying?'
 

She said, 'He makes me homemade soup for lunch and my favorite brownies and then makes love to me for half the afternoon.' 


I said, 'Well, why are you crying?'
 

She said, 'For dinner he makes me a gourmet meal with wine and my favorite dessert and then makes love to me until 2:00 a.m. '
 

I said, 'Well, why in the world would you be crying?'
 

She said, 'I can't remember where I live!'
 



Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades. Over the years they had shared all kinds of activities and adventures. Lately, their activities had been limited to meeting a few times a week to play cards. 

One day they were playing cards when one looked at the other and said, 'Now don't get mad at me. I know we've been friends for a long time.....but I just can't think of your name! I've thought and thought, but I can't remember it. Please tell me what your name is.' 

Her friend glared at her. For at least three minutes she just stared and glared at her. Finally she said, 'How soon do you need to know?'



THE SENILITY PRAYER
 

Grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway, 
the good fortune to run into the ones I do, 
and the eyesight to tell the difference.
 


Proud mom of 2 girls.
lulumomof2
by Bronze Member on Feb. 13, 2009 at 10:40 PM

laughing

 
Free Tibet! End the violence in Burma!

lulumomof2
by Bronze Member on Feb. 13, 2009 at 10:49 PM

shortnsweetisme
by on Feb. 13, 2009 at 11:03 PM

I need to see more funnys so BUMP

jaysmommy04
by on Feb. 13, 2009 at 11:14 PM

Quote:momgirlsx2

Her friend glared at her. For at least three minutes she just stared and glared at her. Finally she said, 'How soon do you need to know?'

Those were funny. But I have to admit. I know this is going to sound stupid but i did not get this one. I feel so stupid that I can't figur it out,Lol
burtney0921
by on Feb. 14, 2009 at 12:03 AM

Quoting jaysmommy04:

Quote:momgirlsx2

Her friend glared at her. For at least three minutes she just stared and glared at her. Finally she said, 'How soon do you need to know?'

Those were funny. But I have to admit. I know this is going to sound stupid but i did not get this one. I feel so stupid that I can't figur it out,Lol

she forgot her own name
judy_bug08
by on Feb. 14, 2009 at 12:25 AM

bump for later




steph1012
by on Feb. 14, 2009 at 12:50 AM


Stephanie 

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)