I get so annoyed, that my stomach crunches into a big knot to where I feel like i'm going to throw up.
My MIL and FIL drive me nuts. They are so controlling, they make me want to scream. Here's an example. My FIL acts like he owns the place. Yesterday my MIL and I were going to go do the invitations for my wedding. We leave my FIL at the my house. Mind you, one time we left them here we came home and they rearranged my living room and set up my Christmas tree and all the decorations. They left nothing for Nick and I to do. Anyways, my MIL and I go do the invites and then she says, well, lets go to the dollar store and see what we can find for decorations. I already told her i wanted to do it myself because i knew she would just take over it all. Well, she did. Everything I liked she would just shoot down and pick something else out and start pushing it on me. I'd put things in the cart and come back 5 minutes later and she had taken them out and said "oh, I didn;t think they would look nice"! I mean, come on!! It's my freaking wedding already! So, after this going on in every store, we ended up leaving. Remember, these are just examples. This stuff is any everyday constant thing. So, we come home and my FIL had emptied out my refrigerator, taken all my vegetables out of their bags and put them on the counter (why? Idk, he's freaking weird. He decided I needed to use them up), set a fire in my back yard (what was he burning?), stocked my refrigerator with beer (we don't drink), mixed all my leftovers together and decided he was giving them to the dogs, cut down my bushes (what? Why?), and pulled things out of my freezer for me to cook them for dinner (what? I didn't know you were staying for dinner? My fiance wouldn't even be home for like 4 more hours!). My mother in law sat on the computer for the next 4 hours and picked out wedding dresses for me and my father in law laid out on my couch and went to sleep. Mind you, my family lives in PA so my mom bought me a plane ticket to come up so we could get a dress together. Karen is trying to convince me to buy one online before i go because she can't handle the fact that she can't control what wedding dress I get. So anyways, Nick gets home we have dinner, I do the dishes while Karen goes and gets the baby ready for bed (she decided that was how it was gonna go) and then they decide they're going to go home. So as they're leaving they go, ok well, we'll see you tomorrow. I was like "oh, your coming over tomorrow"? She said yes, we're coming to paint your house!! I'm not even going to freaking be here!! We're going to a b-day party for a 1yr old. I'm starting to feel like this isn't my house. Oh, and if your going to say tell her no, i already did. I even told her that Nick and I want to paint it together and she said, ok well we'll get the paint and start tomorrow and whatever we can't finish you guys can work on next weekend....So yeah, in one ear and out the other. If I pick one thing to get mad about, it would look petty. But, if I sit there and name all things that they do, they're going to think i hate them. i want neither. So, how do you tell someone to stop freaking taking over everything and trying to control everything without having an all out fight?
wow momma she has no respect for your boundaries. maybe DH needs to say something to her in a nice way. that way you can maybe avoid a fight. like saying that if you guys have plans to do something to not try to do it for you. i know my DF parents are kinda like that. i bought a flower girl dress for my daughter and then they went out and bought another one cause they liked it better and nowi have to use that one.... not nearly as bad but i still know the fustration
"One must live, not only exist; he must do, not merely be; he must grow, not just vegetate.
We must use our talents in behalf of our fellowmen rather than burying them in the tomb of a self-centered life."
Do they have a key? I would not be "available" when they wanted to come over. I can't stand that. My aunt came over everyday after me & my ex moved in here. My mom comes over & cleans, washes dishes basically & I appreciate it but don't tell me what I need to do in MY house. Hell I cleaned & she came in & was like "it lookls good BUT you could have done a better job". I would tell my fiance` he needs to tell his parents to back the hell off bcuz it would drive me crazy as well!!!
Ok I hear ya, sounds like crazy control freaks to me. I hear you say YOU have told them no and to stop, but where is your SO in all of this. HE is the one that needs to step up and tell them no and to stop. If he lets them control your lives like that now what make you think any of that will change once you're married?
Nick says things to them all the time. They don't listen. They said ok, when we told them we wanted to paint the house the first time. Then it was like that conversation never happened. They went and got the paint and made plans to do it anyways. Are you serious? I was so taken back, I was at a loss for words. I just walked away. Uggg... :(
Quoting sweetiepea22:
Oh my gosh! They went and made they're own keys and garage door openers!! They said they got them in-case of an emergency. The must have an emergency every day. It's insane. If they call and i don't answer, they come over anyways, put their key int he front door and walk right in. One of these times i'm going to stand there naked and give um a show as soon as they open it....lol :)
Quoting Young_Mommy89:Do they have a key? I would not be "available" when they wanted to come over. I can't stand that. My aunt came over everyday after me & my ex moved in here. My mom comes over & cleans, washes dishes basically & I appreciate it but don't tell me what I need to do in MY house. Hell I cleaned & she came in & was like "it lookls good BUT you could have done a better job". I would tell my fiance` he needs to tell his parents to back the hell off bcuz it would drive me crazy as well!!!
Oh, and I Nick asked them to stop coming over without calling, so they call from the driveway. I even had to ask my father in law to stop going in my bedroom because one day I opened the dorr and there he is sitting on my un-made bed watching tv!! I was shocked! I didn't even say anything and closed the door, i walked up to Karen and said "why is dave in my room"? So she goes in there and he's in my bathroom taking a pee! Nick and I pulled him aside and said "please, don't go in our room anymore". Now he asks first...
OMG I would tell your fiance` to ask for them back & say "there is no reason for you to have these, you are not using them for emergencies you're using them to come in anytime you please. If you can't respect our home & our privacy then you are not welcome here". It may sound mean but it may be the only way to get through to them. LOL yea just walk through the house naked, with a towel on your head so you can pretend you just got out of the shower!
Quoting jessicer421:
Oh my gosh! They went and made they're own keys and garage door openers!! They said they got them in-case of an emergency. The must have an emergency every day. It's insane. If they call and i don't answer, they come over anyways, put their key int he front door and walk right in. One of these times i'm going to stand there naked and give um a show as soon as they open it....lol :)
Quoting Young_Mommy89:
Do they have a key? I would not be "available" when they wanted to come over. I can't stand that. My aunt came over everyday after me & my ex moved in here. My mom comes over & cleans, washes dishes basically & I appreciate it but don't tell me what I need to do in MY house. Hell I cleaned & she came in & was like "it lookls good BUT you could have done a better job". I would tell my fiance` he needs to tell his parents to back the hell off bcuz it would drive me crazy as well!!!
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on Feb. 22, 2009 at 10:41 AM