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How often should a child be with each parent?

Posted by on Mar. 8, 2009 at 3:02 PM
  • 9 Replies

My ex and I are trying to come up with some kind of plan for how often he can have our daughter. We already agreed that on Holiday's I will have her the night before and then I will bring her to him in some point during the day so she can see him as well. He obviously needs to see her more than that but we can't really agree on anything. Any ideas?

by on Mar. 8, 2009 at 3:02 PM
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Replies (1-9):
mommyof11050307
by Ruby Member on Mar. 8, 2009 at 3:06 PM

my moms gf and her ex are on good terms so they moved into the same school system and they each swap a week. They don't go an entire week without seeing the kids the kids come to my gfs house after school with their nanny. That way they see them equal time and they have switched weeks if they have something going on at work or vaction but they awlays try and arrange everything on their week.

Brooke501
by on Mar. 8, 2009 at 3:06 PM

How old is your daughter? Do you and your ex live close to each other? What about the ex's family are they close ? My step kids lived 25 miles away and the courts did the every other weekend deal and then alternated holidays except for Christmas. They spend Christmas Eve with us and Christmas day with their mom.

I know of a family that set up their own visitation. They only live 5 min. from each other so Dad gets the girls on Wed. night after school and Sunday night and every other weekend. The girls are 13.  

alananicole
by on Mar. 8, 2009 at 3:12 PM


Quoting Brooke501:

How old is your daughter? Do you and your ex live close to each other? What about the ex's family are they close ? My step kids lived 25 miles away and the courts did the every other weekend deal and then alternated holidays except for Christmas. They spend Christmas Eve with us and Christmas day with their mom.

I know of a family that set up their own visitation. They only live 5 min. from each other so Dad gets the girls on Wed. night after school and Sunday night and every other weekend. The girls are 13.  

She's 5 and we live pretty close to each other.

aarkat
by on Mar. 8, 2009 at 3:21 PM

when my parents divorced we moved far away, so we couldn't  do the holidays like you are planning.  also, i lived with mom, and dad had custody of my brother.  my brother and i spent all our vacation time together and split it between the parents.   for the big holidays, we took turns.  this year -mom, next year - dad.  summer break was half here, half there.  this worked out pretty well for us.

tln1
by on Mar. 8, 2009 at 3:29 PM

I would say since you live somewhat close to each other, try to have it to where she sees each of you equaly. If she is in school or day care and deepening on your schedules, maybe one of you could drop her off, and the other pick her up. Or one of you have her for a week, then the other have her for a week.

I think its important for a child to see both parents equaly (if possible).

I always hated the arrangement of one parent only getting the kid(s) every other weekend. That is really only about 4 days a month. I dont think that is fair at all.

milmiracle
by on Mar. 8, 2009 at 3:34 PM

Everyone's situation is different but for instance in my situation if I had that opportunity, he would probably have her every time he's home doing nothing and bring her when he leaves to do whatever.  Like I would take her when I went to do something and he would bring her, or at least coordinate about timing, wen he has to do something.  This way we would both get to do what we needed and share in the transportation.  Just a thought.   

Happy St. Patricks Day

NananRaysmom
by on Mar. 8, 2009 at 5:21 PM

I am too attached to my kids!  Luckily, my kids dad understands this.  He can come get the kids whenever he wants...if I am at work.  But, if I am not at work...they kids stay with me.  He can come visit whenever he wants...we all go do "family" stuff together...he is very involved.  Holidays the kids and I go spend time with his family as well as mine.  I would honestly hate it if I had to share the kids and let him take them for weekends/holidays. 

Dzyre1115
by Desiree` on Mar. 8, 2009 at 5:28 PM

No one has done it better than my son's best friends parents.  They live in the same school district and the child has a complete home setup at both houses and he goes back and forth as he pleases and has since he was three.  They never fight over this and the child is so happy he's sixteen now and there has never been an it's my day, your day showdown.  Alternate every other day when she is young and go from there!

texaswonder
by on Mar. 8, 2009 at 5:29 PM

That sounds like an excellent idea. 

Quoting Dzyre1115:

No one has done it better than my son's best friends parents.  They live in the same school district and the child has a complete home setup at both houses and he goes back and forth as he pleases and has since he was three.  They never fight over this and the child is so happy he's sixteen now and there has never been an it's my day, your day showdown.  Alternate every other day when she is young and go from there!


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