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What do you think?

Posted by on Apr. 8, 2009 at 10:35 AM
  • 6 Replies

Ok so, my mom and dad are seperated right now, and have been since July 18 of last year.  My mom and dad went to austin for my dads birthday last year, and he ended up getting really drunk and may or may not have cheated on my mom, no one knows for sure. (my dad takes an anti depressant, which you are not supposed to drink while taking)  Anyways, they come home and a week later my mom leaves, and she wasnt sure what was going to happen.  Well, she ended up checking into a womens shelter (she went and stayed with her dad for a month but came back) and eventually got to rent her own apartment through them.  She found a job, and is almost on her own two feet, and is looking for her own apartment.  Well, Monday she called to tell me that she is going to go ahead and go through with the divorce (it was all verbal abuse, no physical).  The thing is, my dad (I am living at his house, and have been since mid January) has been trying to get me to convince my mom to come back to him, and that he has changed and all that right?  Well, he has changed, but only a little.  And, on top of that, I have very strong suspicions that he is seeing someone else, which pisses me off, cause he wanted me to get my mom to come back to him, and has been hounding me about her, and anything I know about her, and then would say stuff like "as soon as the divorce is final she will be dating someone else, who knows, she might already be dating someone else" and all sorts of rude stuff basically saying that my mom only left him to date someone else, and he is sure she is already seeing someone and probably was before she left and all that.

BUT, I think he is the one cheating.  Not my mom.  (I know they are divorcing, but when you are still hoping to reconcile, there is no reason you should be even thinking about dating anyone else, and I personally dont think either of them should date until the divorce is final). 

So what do you think?  Here are the signs:

Several months ago I was by my dads house, and I needed to pick up my mail, (this was before I lived there, but I had mail coming to his house) and he said that was fine, but to wait until he was done with dinner.  Unless he had someone over, there would have been no reason for us to wait, my dad is cool, and wouldn't care if he wasnt doing something he didnt want us to know about.  He usually would give me his dinner if I asked for it, so not letting me come over while he eats--weird.  I said ok, and just told him I would come at a different time. That was around Christmas.

Next, my husband overheard him talking and he was saying something about she was wanting something long term.  Well, I really cant think of any reason he would say something like that about anything but a relationship.

Then, my dad was answering some questions for his life insurance policy, and they asked him what medications he was taking and he said Cialis occasionally.  Well, wth would he need Cialis for?  He isn't sleeping with my mom.  I guess he could be watching porn, but I cant imagine taking that so you can jack off you know?

And lastly, yesterday, I came home at 6:15 and my dad wasnt there, and my husband said he hadnt seen him or heard from him since around right after lunch.  He wasn't working, because he sells insurance, and he has to have his computer for that (all the paperwork is online) and his computer was at home.  We texted him around 8:30 with no answer, I called him about 15 minutes later, no answer.  Finally he texted back and said he was ok, but that was to my husbands phone.  He never called or texted me back at all.  I dont even know what time he got home cause he wasnt home when I went to bed around 11.  Oh, and I had called my mom to see if by some off chance she had heard from him and she said she hadnt but she HAD gotten a text while she was in her exercise class saying "I'm so sorry" from my dad.  So that led me to think, guilty  conscience (sorry I know that is spelled wrong) becuase that would be weird to just text that out of nowhere.

Anyways, what do you guys think?  Is he seeing someone else?  It bothers me because he has been trying to get me to convince my mom to come back home, and if he really wanted her too, he wouldnt be seeing someone else AND my husband cheated on me and it broke my heart (we are working through it and doing well) but my dad knew about it and how much it hurt me and I think if he is seeing someone else before the divorce is final and especially while he was still trying to convince my mom to come back that it too would be considered cheating since they are still married, and my mom only last week officially filed the divorce papers because she really did want to stay married to him, but she needed him to change and treat her right, and he wouldnt. 

 My boys are my life!

by on Apr. 8, 2009 at 10:35 AM
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Replies (1-6):
by on Apr. 8, 2009 at 10:44 AM

typically with something like this I would just say to go with your gut. Maybe call your dad out and see what happens.

by Silver Member on Apr. 8, 2009 at 10:46 AM

I would just stay out of it.  Tell your dad to leave you out of it.  He is the parent, not you so he needs to act like ti.

by on Apr. 8, 2009 at 10:50 AM

If you really need to know, just ask him about it. But personally, I would stay out of it. They are adults making their own decisions. If your dad wants you mom back, he needs to work it out with her and not go through you. That is pretty chicken-sh*t and UNFAIR to you.

babys-first-easter01.gif  babys-second-easter1.gif

Stefanie~ Mom to Irish Twins Liam (7/07) and Molly (06/08)
by on Apr. 8, 2009 at 10:53 AM

 I think you just need to stay out of it.  They are adults and need to handle this themselves.  If you dad is bothering you for information about your mom or asking you to help him her get back just tell him you are staying out of it.

by on Apr. 8, 2009 at 10:54 AM

I would stay out of it.

by on Apr. 8, 2009 at 11:33 AM

I see most of you have said to stay out of it.  Well the thing is, I have tried.  I told my dad I dont want to hear about it, I cant tell him about my mom, and he just doesnt quit.  It doesnt matter what I say, he will not stop.  Which is why I am so pissed about the possibility of him cheating.  If he had left me out of it, that would be one thing, but the fact that he has been trying to use me to get my mom back, and the whole time he has been cheating?  That just brings me into it.  Its not like I would tell my mom or anything, thats his business to tell, but I am going to be really angry with him for being dishonest with me about the whole thing.  I just feel like I cant trust my dad right now. You know? 

 My boys are my life!

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