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Is this considered abuse?

Posted by on Apr. 8, 2009 at 1:43 PM
  • 69 Replies

So my SO and I kind of wrestle you know I guess play fight. Sometimes I'm just not in the mood and my SO will still mess with me and hit me and stuff. A couple of times he has really gotten rough and has even made me cry cuz he just doesnt realize his strength and I have called him on it and he just got upset and said fine we will just sit her like a bunch of lame asses and I wont ever mess around with you again. Well I just kind of brushed it of and just tried to let him know hes too strong and he has to realize his strength. Mind you he is 6'0'' 230-35lbs and I'm about 5'7 120lbs very scrawny. Bottom line he is just way stronger than me.

Well last night I was running up the stairs from him messing around and he grabbed my leg and pinched my Achilles heel (sp) so freakin hard. You know that muscle behind your ankle. And he didnt let go for a good 10-15seconds. I was in so much pain and I got teary eyed but I didnt let him see me cuz of the way he reacted last time. So I just hid it from him but I was really upset and he thought nothing of it. Am I just reaccting like a baby? Or should I sit him down and tell him how I feel when he takes it to far when we are messing around?

by on Apr. 8, 2009 at 1:43 PM
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Replies (1-10):
UpSheRises
by on Apr. 8, 2009 at 1:45 PM

Does he do it to control or punish you?

msmoody
by Ruby Member on Apr. 8, 2009 at 1:46 PM

I wouldn't mess around with him anymore if that's how he plays, for one.

cypris420
by on Apr. 8, 2009 at 1:46 PM

Anything that causes you pain against your will could be considered abuse.  You have to have a heart-to-heart with him on this, one day it could go too far and you could get really hurt.  He needs to know if you say 'stop' you mean it.  And he has to stop.  Definitely talk to him about it - tell him you love wrestling around and having fun, but he has to keep in mind that he's strong and you're fragile. 

I gotta say the part you wrote "still mess with me and hit me and stuff" sounds bad.  If you aren't into playing, he's got to stop doing that to you.  Sounds like maybe he has some insecurity issues if he gets all huffy when you won't play. 

Good luck.

Phenomemom
by on Apr. 8, 2009 at 1:47 PM

Yes...it sounds like he's playing and you're being a baby.

Don't wrestle around with him if you can't hang.



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Sirenabella
by on Apr. 8, 2009 at 1:49 PM

It depends on the intent. If he is really and truly playing and thinks you are playing too then I don't think it is abuse, however, if it is done in such a way as to be a punishment, a form of control, dominance, or superiority then yes it could be abuse. You need to sit down and talk to him about how you really feel. If he continues knowing how it makes you feel then yes it is abuse.

bluesky51201
by on Apr. 8, 2009 at 1:51 PM

I agree

Quoting Phenomemom:

Yes...it sounds like he's playing and you're being a baby.

Don't wrestle around with him if you can't hang.




Heathercurlz
by on Apr. 8, 2009 at 1:51 PM

If you've told him you don't want him to do this anymore and that it really hurts then your SO needs to grow up and respect you and your request!

retsillacam
by on Apr. 8, 2009 at 1:52 PM

um, no thats not abuse. Sounds like he just doesn't know when to quit. But I wouldn't go as far to say you are a "battered woman."

bethmoore71
by on Apr. 8, 2009 at 1:53 PM

Is this woman actually serious in her response? All I have to say is "wow".

Roxannroxy, communication is paramount in successful relationships. If his portion of play wrestling is so rough that you are injured, you need to tell him so. When he's all huffy over it, just try to let him know that you love goofing around and reconfirm that he's macho or whatever guys need to hear. Ask him gently to just tone it down some when putting muscle into his play.

Quoting Phenomemom:

Yes...it sounds like he's playing and you're being a baby.

Don't wrestle around with him if you can't hang.

 

 


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trist22
by on Apr. 8, 2009 at 1:54 PM

Quoting msmoody:

I wouldn't mess around with him anymore if that's how he plays, for one.


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