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I have 2 bio kids but I've never given birth.

Posted by on May. 8, 2009 at 8:32 AM
  • 45 Replies

 Vaginally that is. I had a csection both times. Sometimes I feel like shit bc I didnt have that "passage to motherhood". Any of you ladies feel like this?


Tyler Joseph ~ 09/26/03 & Aubri Stacia ~ 08/08/08


My heart, my soul, my life!


When you are happy, I'll love you with a joyful heart. ~ When you are sad, I'll love you with a heart made heavier by your tears. ~ When you are right, I'll love you with a heart filled with pride. ~ When you are wrong, I'll love you with a heart that has learned acceptance. ~ When you succeed, I'll love you with a cheering heart. ~ When you fail, I'll love you with a heart that rewards the efforts you made. ~ When you dream, I'll love you with an encouraging heart. ~ When you give up, I'll love you with a heart that is strong enough for the both of us. ~ And when you are simply you, in whatever mood or phase of your life, I'll love you with all my heart, and more than you'll ever know. 

by on May. 8, 2009 at 8:32 AM
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Replies (1-10):
exceptalilfish
by on May. 8, 2009 at 8:33 AM

you are still a mother who gave birth to your son! some people say i didnt really experience child birth because i had my epidural before i felt a single contraction and had no pain associated with birth.

hlewis
by on May. 8, 2009 at 8:33 AM

Heck no, I dont' feel that way!!  I've had 2 c-sections myself.  You are as much of a mother as anybody sweetie!  Don't feel that way!

ccoyle4
by Gold Member on May. 8, 2009 at 8:34 AM

nope, I don't feel like that.  It doesn't bother me that I had a csection..afterall, I was the one who carried ds for 37 weeks....

Loved4Sure
by on May. 8, 2009 at 8:35 AM

you gave birth because you nurished that baby and it grew in your body, then came out of your body.

That is birth.


First_One_8_18
by on May. 8, 2009 at 8:35 AM

I felt like that for about two seconds. There are some really good c-section support groups. What helped me was to make a 'top ten list' for the reasons I LOVED my c-sections. It really forces you to see the positive.

ETA- I just found the post I made about it.

So, when it happened I had a hard time accepting I would never go through birth, due to a concave pelvis and a small birth canal. He couldn't drop, and I had a scheduled c-section. Looking back, I can find all of the positive things with my delivery, and I wouldn't have it any other way.

1. I didn't have to feel ANY pain

2. I got to put on make up right afterwards, so I look pretty in all of the pictures from the hospital

3. I knew exactly when my little man was going to come, so I had time to prepare my house and plan everything out logistically

4. I didn't have to tell my whole family that I didn't want them in the delivery room. (we didn't even want visitors, and some got offended) DH was the only one allowed.

5. My son didn't have a funny shaped head

6. THE MORPHINE DRIP!

7. I didn't have to push out my 10 lb baby

8. I was able to stay awake and actually spend time with DH and DS after delivery, rather than being exhaused.

9. I didn't have to get out of bed to go take care of the baby for 2 weeks afterwards. DH did all of that for me during recovery

10. I didn't have to get out of bed to pee for 2 days ; )

Still, just thinking of his first cry and the whole experience brings tears to my eyes...

"I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ.” ~Mahatma Ghandi

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zianneaaliyah
by on May. 8, 2009 at 8:35 AM

So how should women who have to get surrogates feel?


Loved4Sure
by on May. 8, 2009 at 8:36 AM


Quoting exceptalilfish:

you are still a mother who gave birth to your son! some people say i didnt really experience child birth because i had my epidural before i felt a single contraction and had no pain associated with birth.

I never understood the people who associate pain as a prerequisite of birth.


celticreverie
by on May. 8, 2009 at 8:37 AM

It's not uncommon to feel that way, especially with unnecessary cesareans. I am NOT saying yours were unnecessary, I just know women who do feel like they got robbed of their experience because of unnecessary interventions that lead to a cesarean.

You are still a mom, and obviously love your children, no matter how they were birthed: whether vaginally or surgically.






mommatothree01
by on May. 8, 2009 at 8:38 AM

Nope, never.  Without my first csection, my dd wouldn't be here and that is not something I even like to think about.  I had two repeat csections and would have changed a thing honestly.  My kids love me the same no matter how they came out. 

JAN81
by on May. 8, 2009 at 8:44 AM

Why is it that people will feed someone B.S. Especially about child birth. NO Matter how you did it, it happened. You are still a mom, regardless. I had a c-section, it was an emergency, and I am very glad I did. And I will have my other children the same way. Like me, some mothers don't have a choice to give birth vaginally or surgically. These mothers who keep saying that c-sections are wrong, Why? Can someone explain to me? IF it was so unhealthy, they would not do them. Momma, don't worry about it, you did have "the passage to motherhood". The whole nine months you carried you Lil ones. The moments when you felt them move. Worrying about what they will look like, will they have 10 fingers and toes, etc. To me that is the "passage to motherhood". 

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