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s/o...does delivering a baby make you mother?

Posted by on May. 8, 2009 at 1:09 PM
  • 30 Replies

I say no...that delivering a baby in itself does not make you a mother.

I think being a mother is more about the role you take from the day you find out you are pregnant. Mother is more than just what you did physically to bring a child into the world, but more about loving and caring for a child. I don't care if the child is a 12 week fetus that was lost to miscarriage or a thirty year old adult or an adopted child...if you mother that child, you are that child's mother.

I have some personal experience of women who delivered babies, but did not mother them. The other post made me realize that there are people out there that actually think that you're only a mother if you deliver a child, so it got me thinking.

What do you think? Is it solely about delivering a baby, or is it a lifestyle that you choose to live that makes you a mother?


  Miles Peyton, 7/18/07


                                                                          Jonas Alexander, 9/8/08



by on May. 8, 2009 at 1:09 PM
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Replies (1-10):
by on May. 8, 2009 at 1:11 PM

Delivering a child makes you the biological parent but its takes more than delivering a child to make you a mother.

by on May. 8, 2009 at 1:12 PM

I think the only thing that matters in these cases, is how the actual person "mother" feels about one else's opinion really matters.

by on May. 8, 2009 at 1:14 PM

birthing a baby may make you a mother, biologically, but that doesn't mean much if your a POS. Anyone can make/have a baby... not everyone can be a mom/dad.

I also don't think the fact that you were pregnant makes you a mother either.. If I didn't have Becka I wouldn't celebrate this upcoming mother's day even though I am 38 weeks pregnant. Pregnancy doesn't make a mommy either.

by on May. 8, 2009 at 1:20 PM

See this is one of the subjects that still baffle me a bit. The reason being is that my sister gave birth, but she is not really motherly towards my neice. My mom is more of a mother to her than my sister is. From day 1 my mom has had more hands on experiences with my neice than my sister has. Mind you my sister had her daughter at 17 and she suffers from bi-polar disorder and depression, but she chooses to not get the help she is supposed to be getting and keep up with her meds, so my mom has to step in along with myself and our other sisters who all take more care of my neice than her own "Mother". So is my sister a "mother" because she gave birth, Yes. Is she a "mother" because she takes care and is motherly towards her daughter, NO. Alright now I just made my head hurt. I really don't know, maybe it doesn't matter if you believe you are a mother than you are.

by on May. 8, 2009 at 1:20 PM

Is this because of the other post about the woman that lost her baby and is still celebrating Mother's day? Anyway, I think it takes more than just having a baby. There is so much more that make us moms. Most of us are the lucky ones. We get to see our babies grow to adulthood. We get up with them in the middle of the night. We play tooth fairy, Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny.  There is way more to list, but the bottom line is doesn't matter how they came into the world, it is what we do as moms that make us mommys. Happy Mother's Day to all of us!!!!

happy mothers day2

by Silver Member on May. 8, 2009 at 1:25 PM

I think it does to an extent. I also feel that it is how the mother sees herself, like maybe she made the best choice for her baby and put it up for adoption, she is till the mother. Or if her baby dies after childbirth, that woman is still the mother of that child. It is all individual perception really.

Proud Army Wife~SAHM~Pro Vaxing~America Love It Or Leave It~If You Don't Support Our Troops Feel Free to Stand In Front Of Them~The Army Isn't The Only Thing That Makes My Man Scream Hooah~

by on May. 8, 2009 at 1:26 PM

 Definition of a Mother....

mother (mut̸h′ər) noun a woman who has borne a child; esp., a woman as she is related to her child or children a stepmother an adoptive mother a mother-in-law the female parent of a plant or animal that which gives birth to something, is the origin or source of something, or nurtures in the manner of a mother

Its no ones place to really judge if I lost my baby and wanted to call my self that babys momma and someone thought I was wrong I would most likely punch them Right in the Ear because who gives a damn so You raise 1 2 3 4 5 12 kids who cares ... Thats how some people greive let them! There is no right or wrong in this

Single mother to Madison one crazy loving backsassing adventurous almost too yr old that I love to Pieces.


by on May. 8, 2009 at 1:27 PM

in the animal kingdom yes you're a mother

but not in the social sense of the term

pagan 2rayzensunpagan 1

by on May. 8, 2009 at 1:29 PM

etting pregnant and giving birth to the baby doesnt not make you a mother. its taking care of the child. putting that childs needs before yours, makeing sure they are healthy, happy, and safe. THAT to me is what makes a mother. you can be the "grandma" and be the child mother. or a foster person, aunt, cousin, or sister.  giving brith to a child might make you the biological mother, but i think bein a mother or mom goes deeper than that. thats my opinion

by on May. 8, 2009 at 1:31 PM

I'm sure everyone is going to love me.. here I go again....

I think there is a difference between being a MOTHER and being a MOMMY. I think (and I want to clarify before hand.. this is MY OPINION) that MOTHER is biological and MOMMY is the nuturer, loving, compassionate one who raises a child. I think I've mentioned this before, but I got my husband a shirt that says:

"Anyone can be a takes a real man to be a DADDY"

I think the same holds true to moms. Anyone can have a baby and be a biological MOTHER, but not everyone has it in them to be a real MOMMY who is able to put forth their own needs and wants to care for their child.

Hopefully that is not too general for everyone this time and I explained myself in my first post. :)

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