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I guess im a bad mom and selfish. poll added

Posted by on May. 8, 2009 at 1:26 PM
  • 25 Replies

 

Poll

Question: is it selfish for only wanting one child?

Options:

yes it is selfish. (please explain)

no its not selfish

other (because there is always an other)


Only group members can vote in this poll.

Total Votes: 95

View Results

ok i was just on the phone with my aunt and she asked me if we were planning on having another child soon so my dd could have a playmate. i told her that my dh and i weren't planning on having another child. and she called me selfish and that i only thought of myself. when i told her why she said that i was denying my dd a real childhood without a sibling.

my reasons for not wanting another child is i am happy with only one bio child. i have a 9 yr old sd and i love her like my own. when i went into labor i couldnt deliver vaginally. i had to have an emergency c-section because my dd ended up getting stuck in my birth canal. when they gave me my local anastesia it didnt work. it actually wore off after my dd was taken out and they were stitching me up. they had to completely knock me out. and i didnt take to the anastesia very well. i didnt get to hold my dd right away after birth. i got to hold her the first time 3 hours after she was born. i didnt get to hear her cry. and i had to have an emergency surgery almost 4 hours after i had her becuase i was bleeding internally.

i dont feel selfish about my choices. i would rather be here with one child than have my dh taken on 2 children without me. and i am happy with my dd. am i being selfish or are my reasons justifiable? i am angry at my aunt for what she said and i just ended up hanging up on her. what a way to make a mommy feel 2 days before mothers day huh

by on May. 8, 2009 at 1:26 PM
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Replies (1-10):
peanutsmommy1
by on May. 8, 2009 at 1:28 PM

gosh I hope not, my 3 1/1 year old son will be an only child. I would rather have one child than I can take care of well than 2 that I can't 

 


Becky

Proudmommy312
by on May. 8, 2009 at 1:32 PM

How awful of her to say that to you! I think she is being selfish because she is obviously the one that wants you to have another child! Having one child ensures more time with you and daddy, more money for activities for her, etc.

RissaBusch
by on May. 8, 2009 at 1:32 PM

 I'll never understand why people with only children are viewed as selfish.  I don't think you're selfish at all. 

Crazy-Steph
by Ruby Member on May. 8, 2009 at 1:34 PM

It doesn't matter what your reasons are.  If you only want one child, that is up to you and your husband.  You should not have to justify how many children you want to anyone!

Momitee
by on May. 8, 2009 at 1:35 PM

Selfish are those who wants a couple or few children but can not afford to.  Before having my 2 I had hope to have 5.  I am thankful and gradeful for just having 2. 

Some thinks that financial status should not matter.  It Does.

Now if by some miracle I win the lottery, I will work on having 3 more children.

 

Joanna_M
by on May. 8, 2009 at 1:35 PM

We're choosing to have only one and I don't feel selfish about it at all. He's going to have alot more opportunities then I did growing up and we have alot of plans and goals that work out better with just one child. Plus he gets spoiled like crazy from my mom cuz he's the only grandbaby right now so I don't think he feels like he's missing anything.


MommaVee
by on May. 8, 2009 at 1:36 PM

not at all! its your right and decision to make if you want one you want one. i know many people who only want one baby. there is nothing selfish about it. 

my family is my everything
myfoursonsks
by on May. 8, 2009 at 1:36 PM

Nope, everyone should do what feels right to them.  I, personally, would love to have kids forever.  But, I realize not everyone is like that and see no reason to judge them for it.

celticreverie
by on May. 8, 2009 at 1:36 PM

I don't see it as selfish at all. Many people only want 1 child. I want 3, for my own reasons.

I am sorry you were told you were selfish. But I wouldn't allow a past birth experience to stop you, if you want kids but are afraid.







rayzensun
by on May. 8, 2009 at 1:38 PM

no its not selfish

but as an only child I always wanted a sibling

pagan 2rayzensunpagan 1

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