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how do i console a crying friend?

Posted by on May. 8, 2009 at 6:55 PM
  • 7 Replies

okay, for the past few months, my friend has been calling me asking for my opinion on her and her husband... first he wants her to quit her job b/c he says he barely knows her anymore (actually, he's mad b/c she makes more than him)... then he has women texting and calling the phone and he says its nothing (it was one sexual text and he says its a joke).... now she calls me in tears a minute ago... i dont know what to begin to say, but i know it's about hubby... so i first ask whats wrong... she doesnt really wanna tell me b/c she says she's tired of talking about it and crying over it.. but basically she says they are done.. i was like well it's kinda hard for me to give any advice not knowing the situation, but u know whats best for u and your family, so just do what u have to do... she says they fight way too much and he's telling her that she's too jealous, etc... i tell her, instead of calling it quits, just take a break for the night... maybe go to a hotel (she doesnt wanna be in the same room as him)... i then tell her to just come over... i dont know if i should've done this.. we live 3 hrs away and anything can happen while she's away... they do this all the time, so if it is just another simple disagreement, he may do something out of anger, i.e. cheat.. but this time she says is the final time...

she says they will both put in their two weeks notice at their job, leave the house they are purchasing (only in his name),  and move back to cali (where we are from, now in tx)... i tell her why quit ur state job to go back to nothing... just let him leave if thats what he chooses, get ur 2 kids a place, and put youngest in daycare while at work, and oldest is starting kindergarten... she says she just wants to be back with her mom...

i just dont know what else to tell her... do any of u ladies have any suggestions?... i feel like i should not let her come to my house, b/c i dont wanna butt in their business, but then again she has no fam/friends in austin and just needs to leave b4 it gets worse...

by on May. 8, 2009 at 6:55 PM
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Replies (1-7):
jakki21
by on May. 8, 2009 at 6:57 PM

forgot to add, he's abusive physically and verbally at times, so she just wants to leave.

Tygermommanikki
by on May. 8, 2009 at 7:01 PM

Continue being there as a sholder to cry on and offer advice when she asks. Sometimes the best thing you can do fo a friend is be there wether by phone, internet or in person.

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Shylie
by on May. 8, 2009 at 7:02 PM

It was sweet of you to offer your place for a bit. She needs it. As to their family matters, all you can tell her is to do what she thinks is right. She knows best what's really going on. Tell her to make two lists of things that piss her off. Count how many things she can do something about, and do it. If there are more things that she can't do anything about, she needs help and change. Tell her good luck.

 

 

Staceyymichelle
by on May. 8, 2009 at 7:05 PM

Maybe she doesnt wont to stay and keep her job because of her getting abused and such. I would let her come over and I would offer her a shoulder to cry on, just listen to what she has to say, and tell her to do what she feels right is best for her and her children. Good luck.

 

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jakki21
by on May. 8, 2009 at 7:08 PM

he's going back to cali... so if she were to stay the abuse wouldnt continue... as for tonight, she can come over... their isnt much i can do for a long term stay, i am overstaying my own welcome at my moms house... my mom said she could come for the night, but she works out in the heat 10 hrs a day and doesnt really wanna come home to screaming kids... btw... i have my own place finally, just havent quite moved in yet... cant lift so waiting for help with my things.

Quoting Staceyymichelle:

Maybe she doesnt wont to stay and keep her job because of her getting abused and such. I would let her come over and I would offer her a shoulder to cry on, just listen to what she has to say, and tell her to do what she feels right is best for her and her children. Good luck.

 


SharoninKy
by on May. 8, 2009 at 8:33 PM

These ladies gave you good advice.  You sound like a very good friend and I think you told her right.  Either way, she will be the one to decide and hopefully stay away from him.

jakki21
by on May. 8, 2009 at 8:38 PM

thanks ladies for replying... so far she hasnt called meback.. maybe their talking about it

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