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some advice needed, please...

Posted by on May. 8, 2009 at 7:29 PM
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ok, me and dh have been married for 4 years (in july).  we've known eachother for 7 years.  when we 1st got together, he was very sweet.  he always thought of the right things to say or do.  i couldnt compalin about him at all.  he would always buy me roses, or write sweet letters to me (which i still have because i treasur ethem deeply).  i couldnt ever tell him i was sick or had a migraine because right away he would send me balloons and a rose and a get well card.  :0) always did everything for me and always put my feelings ahead of everyone else's.

as soon as i got pregnant and started living with him, it all changed.  :0(  no more roses, no more balloons, no more sweet letters.  nothing! 

my very 1st mother's day, i was sooo excited because i was finally a mom and because i finally had a family to call my own.  what did i get?  nothing!  not even a happy mother's day hug, kiss, nothing!  in fact, HIS dad was the first to congratulate me.  HIS dad was the one who took me for breakfast.  i was so heart broken and what made it worse is that he didnt care how i felt. 

4 yrs have gone by, and not one yr has he done anything for me on mother's day.  i stay at home, so i dont have any money to spend just for the things i wanna buy.  but every single year for father's day i do something special for him.  i sneack 20 dollars here and there from when i go grocery shopping and get him something with that.  last yr, i bought some paint and i painted my sons footprints and handprints on a white shirt that said number one dad.  and guess what?  HE HAS NEVER EVER WORN THAT SHIRT!!! :0(

this yr is the same thing.  ive been telling him all week that mother's day is coming up.  has he thought about doing anything for me?  no!  i started bitching at him today about it and he said "well i was thinking about taking you out to eat, but now im not gonna take you anywhere!"  and i said "oh where?  CARL'S JR!!!"  uggh im not appreciated for everthing that i do for him.  i never get a thank you or good job, nothing.  i cook for him, i wash his clothes, i take care of our son, i give it to him whenever he wants it, i try to be the perfect lil wife he wants me to be, and still i get nothing from him!  sooooo, i told him im not gonna wash his clothes or clean the house until i see that he starts appreciating the things i do for him.  am i overreacting?  what should i do?  what i can i do to open his eyes?  he thinx this is a joke and that im getting mad for no reason.  am i?


by on May. 8, 2009 at 7:29 PM
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saralouise
by on May. 8, 2009 at 7:34 PM

I personally could care less about mothersday from my hubby. BUT I do thing you are doing a smart thing by cutting off the things you do for him to show him how much you actually do. just keep your ground and let his clothes pile. you could even separate the dishes that he has used and dont wash those and when he wants you to get him something to eat? make an exception get him food in the dirty dishes (that's way gross but I would find it hilarious)

crysjuls
by on May. 8, 2009 at 8:01 PM

i guess its cus i was so used to him always being so sweet and thoughtfulr to me.  mother's day is a big deal for me and it means alot to me.  i'm soooo happy and grateful to be a mother.  i think it's the best thing i've ever done.  i love my son to death and i wouldnt change it for anything.  dh knows that.  he knows how much being a mother is special to me and still he doesnt give a crap and that hurts me. :0(

i've already let him know, for now on till he changes his attitude towards me, i will no longer wash or cook for him.  i will no longer have intimacy with him, its gonna be hella hard, lol, but i'm up for it.  lol  we'll see what happens.  thnx!

Quoting saralouise:

I personally could care less about mothersday from my hubby. BUT I do thing you are doing a smart thing by cutting off the things you do for him to show him how much you actually do. just keep your ground and let his clothes pile. you could even separate the dishes that he has used and dont wash those and when he wants you to get him something to eat? make an exception get him food in the dirty dishes (that's way gross but I would find it hilarious)



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