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Is it cheating?

Posted by on May. 24, 2009 at 7:45 PM
  • 43 Replies

I am having a horrible time trying to deal with this.

My husband and I just had twins two weeks ago and i know I'm emotional anyway. But Friday night/Saturday morning I was up after feeding the twins. He was passed out in other kids' bedroom after drinking half a bottle of Southern Comfort. His cell phone was sitting in front of me while I pumped. On a whim I picked it up to read his text messages.

Nothing interesting at first in his inbox until I came upon a message from someone I didn't know saying "I wish I was with you." What? Who is this and why are they saying that? Next message I see says "I really need to get laid Johnathan." Excuse me? So I go to the out box. The getting laid message was only answered with, "well then you should try to get birthday sex." But the other message, " I wish I was with you" was answered with, "i would give you everything".

WTF!! Why are you saying this to anyone besides me? I went into our children's bedroom and woke him up right away. I wanted to know what the hell was going on. This female lives about 500 miles away from here but it's the fact he said he would give someone else everything. He swears he has never cheated and meant the statement to her to try to make a friend having ahrd time in her relationship feel better.

I don't know. I am very sure there are other things to say to someone to make them feel better. I feel so hurt right now. After everything we've been through and the fact we have just had 2 more children together. A planned pregnancy in case anyone wonders.

by on May. 24, 2009 at 7:45 PM
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Replies (1-10):
by on May. 24, 2009 at 7:47 PM

What a jerk! I would be pissed as hell, but I'm not sure it can be considered cheating since she is like 500 miles away and he can't really have sex with her or anything. Unless you consider it emotional cheating. I really don't know what I would do in that situation. I'm sorry dear!

by on May. 24, 2009 at 7:48 PM

Wow...I am sorry. My opinion is that it is just like cheating. My DH would view it the same way. Just ask him how he would feel if the tables were turned the other way! Good luck!

by on May. 24, 2009 at 7:48 PM

Wow. I am sorry! Good luck!

by on May. 24, 2009 at 8:13 PM

I'm so sorry to hear that. I hope he isn't cheating, but there's no excuse for those types of messages. He's not in high school anymore and if it is true that there's nothing going on, then he needs to stop playing the mind games. I wish you the best of luck.


by on May. 24, 2009 at 8:17 PM

that is horrible.. he tells you she lives far away but i would always wonder if thats a lie after seeing text messages like that.. i qould be so pissed at my husband and it would cause a huge fight in our household..

by on May. 24, 2009 at 8:18 PM

I think it is cheating whether it be emotional or physical cheating is cheating he shouldn't be saying things like that to another woman.

by Kayleen on May. 24, 2009 at 8:19 PM

I would be so hurt too. He has no business talking like that to another woman! I wouldn't consider it "physical" cheating, but emotional cheating yes. She obviously has feelings for your dh and he is obviously very aware of that because of what she's saying to him. It doesn't sound like this is the first time they have talked this way with each other. Not saying he has cheated on you..but if he has, its unlikely he would just come out and admit it. And you said she's someone you don't know right? Well where the heck does he know her from? Who is she?

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by on May. 24, 2009 at 8:21 PM



by Platinum Member on May. 24, 2009 at 8:21 PM

Was her # a different area code? How does he know her well enough to talk like that if they in fact were not in the same place at one point? I would really wonder if she was really living 500 miles away.

I am sorry you are dealing with this but if you do not put your foot down now it will continue. He will think that it is ok to do things like this and to treat you badly. He will think that he can get away with things like this!!

by on May. 24, 2009 at 8:22 PM

It may not be physical cheating, but it is emotional cheating.  And if he isn't emotionally cheating, that even makes him more of a bastard for leading a girl on.

You need to tell him to break it off with this girl immediately or you are out of there.  This is an ultimatum that needs to be made known.  You don't do that kind of shit.

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