Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

A tough questn about abortion

Posted by on Jun. 9, 2009 at 3:40 PM
  • 41 Replies

 This is sorta long, please please bear with me. My heart is torn!

I have a friend who is considering abortion. I myself, do not agree with abortion, but I have never been the type to be pushy or rude with my opinion.

She wrote me a message in email saying she is worried that I will "turn on her" (something her boyfriend who is a baby making loser told her) if she doesn't have the baby and decided to get an abortion.

I don't think I would turn on her, but I would loose a lot of respect for her. I know its her choice but this girl is really fragile and emotional and has told me on many occations she doesn't agree with abortion. I worry that she would have it and fall apart. She even said herself she would need "pills and counsoling" if she had an abotion.

I really don't know what to tell her or how to be supportive. 

What would you do?
 

 

to sum it up, I am asking HOW to support her since even she doesn't want to have the abortion nessisarily. Not IF I should because of my own beliefs. HOW.


 

by on Jun. 9, 2009 at 3:40 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
kgsharber
by Gold Member on Jun. 9, 2009 at 3:43 PM

Tell her what you just told us. That she is fragile & you think this would be too much for her to bear. That is not an insult. Ask her if she has considered adoption. 

lovemy2boyz08
by on Jun. 9, 2009 at 3:43 PM
I would tell her not to have one. If she is against it, she will end up resenting the boyfriend.

        

Crazy-Steph
by Ruby Member on Jun. 9, 2009 at 3:43 PM

Tell her that no matter what she decides to do, that you will still love her and be there for her.  Tell her that you understand this is a very personal decision that only she can make, and while you may not agree with her decision, as her friend you would never not be there for her in a time of need.  And then follow through with what you tell her.

alleykatt28
by on Jun. 9, 2009 at 3:45 PM

all that i can say... is be there for her... in whatever she decides and make sure you know you are there... but don't pretend to be there. if she does it and you are going to loose respect in her... you need to be honest to her.... I wouldn't want a friend out of pity or being fake.. i am sure she wouldn't either. she probably just needs a shoulder to cry on... you need to decide if you can offer that shoulder.

Good luck in whatever happens.. i hope comfort to her heart which ever way she decides to go.

soldier-2_thumb.png i love my soldier image by leosgirrl

Do you play MafiaWars on MySpace? Need more mafia? Come join in on the fun!! http://www.cafemom.com/group/102762

aka_speezolove
by on Jun. 9, 2009 at 3:46 PM


Quoting kgsharber:

Tell her what you just told us. That she is fragile & you think this would be too much for her to bear. That is not an insult. Ask her if she has considered adoption. 


she said she couldn't bear the thought of giving up her baby to be raised by someone else. But I find that ironic because she can bear the thought of not even giving the child a chance. I dunno. I am just so torn.


 

jeskaM
by on Jun. 9, 2009 at 3:46 PM

tell her that it is something that she will live with it for the rest of her life..and is she prepared for possibly feeling guilty for a long time. Offer her some counseling. Every woman considering abortion should have some sort of counseling from a doctor and i was never offered that option. Support her even if you dont agree  and just be there for her...and if shes on the fence on wether or not she wants an abortion then she really doesnt want to have one and tell her to reallly consider having the baby.

  Lindsay 06.14.2008


Pregnancy ticker


 



         
JJones02
by on Jun. 9, 2009 at 3:48 PM

If she needs counseling, she should get it now. She needs someone to help her decide what's right for her at this time in her life. Being her friend doesn't mean that you have to agree with whatever her decision is, only that you are there for her in her time of need.

raine.arnesen
by on Jun. 9, 2009 at 3:49 PM

From what you've said it sounds like she doesn't actually want an abortion. Is her boyfriend trying to talk her into it?

Daisypath Anniversary Years Ticker

Lilypie 1st Birthday Ticker

SGJsmom
by on Jun. 9, 2009 at 3:49 PM

It is her life her decision. If you really are her friend you will be there for her. Maybe that strength alone from you will help her.

JulyBabies
by Platinum Member on Jun. 9, 2009 at 3:49 PM


Quoting aka_speezolove:


Quoting kgsharber:

Tell her what you just told us. That she is fragile & you think this would be too much for her to bear. That is not an insult. Ask her if she has considered adoption. 


she said she couldn't bear the thought of giving up her baby to be raised by someone else. But I find that ironic because she can bear the thought of not even giving the child a chance. I dunno. I am just so torn.


No offense, but I think it's selfish of you to be "torn". This is your friend and her baby and her issue. The last thing that she needs is to worry about the state of a friendship. This has nothing to do with you.

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)