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how do I find the strength to leave? I'm so scared. UPDATE he's in jail

Posted by on Jun. 12, 2009 at 10:43 AM
  • 73 Replies

Its been really intense in my home these last few days. We've all been sick and feeling horrible. DDs father has been here the whole time. Things WERE going good in our relationship for a while, but now I'm scared to be around him. He is becoming more and more aggresive when we fight--he has hit me before, and though he usually keeps himself in check, he has been throwing things at me, screaming in my face, grabbing things out of my hands, and Im just scared. He's been belittling me, telling me Im a horrible mother and a cunt. I can't take this. He's reduced me to tears so many times in the last week its not even funny--and I'm not the kind of chick who cries easily.

I have to be quick because I don't want him to read what I am writing. He does not live with me, but won't leave my house. When he does, if I lock the doors and don't let him in, he bangs on all of my windows and screams at me. I can't take this, I can't take this.

How do I find the strength to do this?!?!?!?!?!?

I went outside to have a cigarette and he followed. I told him I was done being treated so poorly. That I refused to have him treat me like this. He had the phone, I told him to use it to call a ride, then I went inside and locked the door. He was banging on my windows telling me to give him his shit. I opened the door to give it to him--he pushed his way inside. I went in the kitchen to call the police and after one ring he unplugged the phone from the wall. I plugged it in, the cops called back and sent someone over. They found him walking up the street and arrested him for disturbing a 911 call. The officer took a statement--I did not press charges (because I'm an idiot and I don't want anything horrible to happen to him. I just want him to understand he can't treat me this way).

I need to stay strong. I need to keep him gone. Thank you for your support ladies--I have phone numbers from the polica officer on how to file for a protective order and to find out exactly what that means.

Please pray for me and my daughter. Thank you for helping me when I needed it.


The world is absurd, and beautiful, and small.

by on Jun. 12, 2009 at 10:43 AM
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Replies (1-10):
mamafor6
by on Jun. 12, 2009 at 10:45 AM

Honey take a deep breath and call the cops. They will make him leave and get you some help. Trust me you dont want your kids thinking that its okay to be an abusser or to be abussed. I will pray for you.

mrs.murphy06
by on Jun. 12, 2009 at 10:46 AM

the next time he leaves you need to lock the doors and call 911 that is the only thing he is going to understand

 

princessnyprnc1
by on Jun. 12, 2009 at 10:47 AM

 Im so sorry. All I can say is look at that little girl. She is all the strength you need. You dont want her to grow up thinking his behavior is okay....trust me. MY dad was abusive to me and my mom, mostly my mom. Luckily, I have no long term affects from it, but my brother...IS MY DAD. He will be 16, he beats his girlfriend, takes all her money. I actually do have something.... I yell alot...my dad yelled alot.

Please do you and dd a favor GET OUT NOW before you cant!

BrownEyedGirl86
by Platinum Member on Jun. 12, 2009 at 10:48 AM

call the cops and file a protective order.  ask the cops when they get there to help you and find you a new place. 


cdgoldilocks
by on Jun. 12, 2009 at 10:49 AM
1 mom liked this

I agree with the other posters.

2egbhgx.jpg Eleanor Roosevelt image by whatadollx3


A government big enough to give you everything you want is big enough to take everything you have. -Barry Goldwater

247mamaandwife
by Silver Member on Jun. 12, 2009 at 10:49 AM

get him to leave any way you can to go to the store ect, call the cops and put a resratning order on him NOW dont wait another mintue then see if you cant stay with someone over the weekend and let things cool off before you return home, change the locks on your doors and get deadbolts  good luck

Sportbominable
by Platinum Member on Jun. 12, 2009 at 10:50 AM

First, figure out where you are going to go. I would try to pick a place that he doesn't know about because he sounds dangerous. Then, when he leaves the house, lock the doors and windows, call the police and tell them you are scared for you and your children's lives (which you should be). The police should help you leave by protecting you and escorting you to your car. Pack up everything you'll need for 1-2 weeks and go to a safe place he doesn't know about. Then, when you need to go back to get the rest of your stuff, call the police again and request another escort/protection. Oh, and don't forget to file a restraining order against him.

bergencounty
by Bronze Member on Jun. 12, 2009 at 10:52 AM
Sirenabella
by on Jun. 12, 2009 at 10:53 AM

I'm sorry hun. Get a protective order and/or restraining order. Document everything. If/when he shows up do not let him in no matter what. If he yells and bangs on things call the cops. You do not have to let him in. When the cops are there you can ask them how to get things started or you can call your local courthouse. Hugs.

alithemklady
by on Jun. 12, 2009 at 10:54 AM

I agree!!!!

Quoting princessnyprnc1:

 Im so sorry. All I can say is look at that little girl. She is all the strength you need. You dont want her to grow up thinking his behavior is okay....trust me. MY dad was abusive to me and my mom, mostly my mom. Luckily, I have no long term affects from it, but my brother...IS MY DAD. He will be 16, he beats his girlfriend, takes all her money. I actually do have something.... I yell alot...my dad yelled alot.

Please do you and dd a favor GET OUT NOW before you cant!


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