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Would you want this situation left up to you as the parent, or would you be ok with someone else stepping in?

Posted by on Jun. 21, 2009 at 2:02 AM
  • 20 Replies

 

Poll

Question: After reading the details below, would you prefer that the police be called immediately, or that you be called first to deal with the situation how you see fit?

Options:

I prefer to be called first

I prefer that the police are called first

other, explain


Only group members can vote in this poll.

Total Votes: 87

View Results

Another obvious post got me to thinking. However, when answering this poll PLEASE do not mix it in with the conversation in that is going on there.

If you had a teenager mixed up in illegal activity would you prefer that, if your child got caught by another parent, that parent call you or call the police? Now, I'm not talking about illegal activity that hurts someone else. I'm talking about things like getting caught smoking pot or doing drugs, drinking, stuff like that. Would you prefer to be the first in line and make the decision to call the police regarding your childs behavior or would you prefer that whoever caught them call the police on them? (And I'm talking high school aged teenagers.)

by on Jun. 21, 2009 at 2:02 AM
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Replies (1-10):
steph2884
by on Jun. 21, 2009 at 2:09 AM

I would rather punish my teenager as I see fit, instead of my teenager having a record. If punishment doesn't work, and they keep doing it and getting caught, maybe a little wake up call would be in order... and they should get tossed in jail for a while. Obviously if my teenager was hurting someone I would rather the police be called.

chiquis
by Diamond Member on Jun. 21, 2009 at 2:12 AM

I am her parent so I should be the one to deal with it. I'd apprecaite the heads up of course lol.

 




LauraEK
by on Jun. 21, 2009 at 2:14 AM
Quoting chiquis:

I am her parent so I should be the one to deal with it. I'd apprecaite the heads up of course lol.

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Jafra_mommy
by on Jun. 21, 2009 at 3:11 PM

*bump* I didn't get many responses last night and I think it's a good question.

mama2mycuties
by on Jun. 21, 2009 at 3:15 PM

this is my feeling as well, i would give my child a chance to start making right decisions if they chose to continue in the behavior after that i'd have no qualms w/ sending them to spend some time in a jail cell and see the reality of where their life could be headed.......but as this posted too if my child were hurting someone, police of course.

Quoting steph2884:

I would rather punish my teenager as I see fit, instead of my teenager having a record. If punishment doesn't work, and they keep doing it and getting caught, maybe a little wake up call would be in order... and they should get tossed in jail for a while. Obviously if my teenager was hurting someone I would rather the police be called.


RmeWifey01
by on Jun. 21, 2009 at 4:40 PM

Actually I was put in this position once. When my oldest son was 13 we moved to Germany for almost 5 years. When he was 14 we lived in military housing along with another certain military mom who was roughly about 24 y/o and had 2 small toddlers of her own. Both of our husbands were deployed to Iraq and this certain other woman didn't miss a beat. As soon as our husbands were gone she started having parties with nothing but teenage boys one being my own ds (absolutely NO other females). He would always tell me he was going to his friends' houses (2 boys and a girl that he hung out with regularly). I trusted him, and had no reason at that point not to. Well my downstairs neighbor came to me on the 4th of July once and asked me to go for a walk with her. So as we were walking she asked if I noticed that 'Tracey' always looked stoned and ALWAYS had a beer in her hand even with her 2 toddlers around. I said yes and that she was a lousy mother and should not do that stuff around them but it was not my place to say. She then went on to tell me that she was present once when Tracey had offered a joint to my son and also gave him a beer, and that he was at her apt. right at that moment. Let's just say I FLIPPED! I turned my ass around and started almost running toward the complex to grab him and HUNT HER down!! Yeah I was beyond mad! I got to my apartment and my ds had come home and gone to bed AT 7PM. (keep in mind he was 14 and normally would stay up until midnight or so, so this was VERY odd!) So he had locked me out and I had to keep ringing the doorbell and pounding until he opened the door. When he did he would not look me in the eyes nor would he speak directly to me, kept covering his mouth. He went to get back in bed and I had to physically hold his chin and force him to look at me and breathe in my face so I could smell him. As my neighbor suggested, there was a distinct smell of pot on his breath, his pupils were dilated, and his clothing STUNK, and there was a beer smell on them too as if he had spilled one. So I harrassed him until he gave up the person who gave it to him and then I went after her. Thankfully my neighbor went too or else I would have killed this chick! I seriously reemed her and then called my brother who is an MP and he told me to go to CID the next day. Thankfully my good friend in the next building worked for them and she took care of it and this chic got sent back to the States and lost her kids. Just an FYI, she was also molesting these boys (my ds included) but no one would do anything about THAT! Apparently the hickies on their necks were not proof enough. They sent her back for just the drugs and giving them to minors.

So yes I would rather the person tell me first and let me handle it!

junebug624
by on Jun. 21, 2009 at 4:54 PM

 I know as a teenager, I think I shoulda had the cops called on me... maybe then I wouldn't have been such a pothead.  It has taken me years to overcome an addiction, cuz my parents (like most) thought it was a phase and I wouldnt do it again.  Had I gotten in legal trouble as a minor, I would have def learned my lesson, and what happens with drugs and alcohol as a minor cant be brought up later.  My dh was in trouble for 2 underages and possession when he was younger, and his record was sealed cuz he was under 18, but the lesson he learned lasted longer.  His mother never punished him either cuz "it was no big deal"  Kids need to realize that actions have consequences and if you're not ready to really punish a teen for what they did, maybe the cops should be called to help you out.

~June

I'm a vaxing, circing, disposable diaper using, bf switched to ff, CIO sometimes, pushed 1hr before a c-section (and don't regret it), college attending, loving my soldier, loving my son, can't wait to have another baby, trust your own judgement, kind of mom.

abbynzachsmommy
by on Jun. 21, 2009 at 4:58 PM

If my child is doing something illegal, something they KNOW is illegal, I have no issues with another parent calling the cops. I would appreciate that parent calling me as well, but I certainly wouldnt be mad if they called the cops first.

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ElijahsMommy58
by on Jun. 21, 2009 at 5:00 PM

If they were going to call the police I'd like a heads up because drinking or doing drugs COULD potentially hurt someone. Like, my step bro tried drugs once and had a baaad reaction to it & had to be taken to the ER. In a case like that, call 911 first, THEN contact me. But yeah, if the cops werent called & it was up to me there'd be some serious consequences.

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cjsmom0206
by on Jun. 21, 2009 at 5:00 PM

Me too, especially if it's pot or drinking...let me make the first attempt before you feel the need to notify law enforcement.

Quoting chiquis:

I am her parent so I should be the one to deal with it. I'd apprecaite the heads up of course lol.


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