Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

crazy mean and loud 5 year old. ADVICE NEEDED

Posted by on Jun. 21, 2009 at 4:43 PM
  • 8 Replies

My son just turned 5 years old in may. He will start school this year. Within the last month he has become so mean to his siblings(2 and 1 (girls)). He will hit and bully them around spec the 2 year old. I baby sit 3 kids and he is a sweet heart to them but his siblings no way.

He has also started to talk back at u when u tell him something. . To yell at u. To hit u if he trips and gets hurt . I think he does that out of instinct. He is hurt so if u pick him up he is hitting up a storm until his pain goes away.

He does not listen AT ALL. We have tried rewards chart, getting him a new game if he listens a whole week and all that kinda stuff. We have started giving him big boy time at night where he stays up 1 h longer then his little sisters and it helped at little. My boy has ADHD and we are taking him to the doc in a week to talk about what kind of medicine to get him on for school.So I don't know if this is all ADHD talking or his personality.

 

The thing is that one month ago we had a new baby. a little boy.  so now he is not our only boy anymore. He adores his brother but I am wondering if deep down he is feeling sad.

I have spanked and smacked his mouth(only when he raises his voice at me or his dad) so many times right now I am done. I don't know what to do. I am loosing it. I start crying when he acts up cause I AM used to very well behaved kids and don't know how to deal with this. Time out don't work toys being taken away don't work. No tv don't work. And if u give him a spanking 5 min later he is doing the same thing again...

I am fed up.. Where is my little angel boy? the boy every one would brag about? At his sitters house he is perfect she says. he is only there like twice a month but still why there and not here?

I feel like I am giving up on him. and I am now just letting him do whatever he wants to leave me alone because when he is around me it is all just conflict. either he is yelling or not listening or  fighting with his sisters or running in the house(big NO NO).

PLS SOMEONE GIVE ME SOME ADVICE

 




 




 Mother of 4  Nicholas Andre',Cerina Renee,Emma May and Benjamin Blaze

by on Jun. 21, 2009 at 4:43 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-8):
foreveryoung84
by on Jun. 21, 2009 at 4:53 PM

bump

 




 




 Mother of 4  Nicholas Andre',Cerina Renee,Emma May and Benjamin Blaze

Jennifer_236
by on Jun. 21, 2009 at 4:56 PM

If he cant wait to go to school this is what I do......My son hits me and himself all the time and I tell him that if he does that then he cant go to school they wont let him in....it works with my son GL

sondamom0828
by on Jun. 21, 2009 at 4:58 PM

I don't know what to say, did all of this start happening after your son was born?  He might be reacting to that.  Some kids take it out on the baby, others the older sibling and some the parents...or any combo of them or even all of them.

Is there any way you can get a break from him (or all of the older kids)?  Sorry I don't have more advice.

 

 




 




Cafe GroupAdmin
by Head Admin on Jun. 21, 2009 at 10:17 PM

 

wave

Hi foreveryoung84
,

You may also want to visit these CafeMom Groups:

Advice for Moms

ELEMENTARY MOMMIES

 
To search for other groups, click on Find Groups.

 

If you have a question or would like to share advice with other moms, just click the "Answers" tab at the top of every page on CafeMom.

You can use the search bar at the top of every page to search for specific information.

 

Enjoy the site!

\\ The Cafe Group Admin Team

 

 





Please join:
 Advice for Moms        The CafeMom  Newcomers Club The CafeMom Newcomers Club
Kids, Fun & Photos! Kids, Fun & Photos!    Current Events & Hot Topics Current Events & Hot Topics
The Cafe                        CafeMom Hollywood

Lauriemom
by on Jun. 21, 2009 at 10:25 PM

I am sorry momma,. what a tough situation to be in

The only advice I have for you is in regards to the rewards system you had in place for him

If he is incapable of making it an entire week to gain a reward, then you need to make a shorter term goal.  I think many 5 year olds would be hard pressed to make it a full week (or maybe I am just thinking of MY kids, LOL).  Set smaller goals, such as listening for one day. once he's mastered that, make it for 2 days, and keep upping the time till the reward.  Also, make the expectations very clear. 

If he is hitting, make the focus on that ONE behavior, (no hitting) and when he is successful at that, reward him.  Eventually, you can broaden it but in the beginning focus on the most concerning behavior.  My older DD has some behavioral concerns, and we began something like this, and the only requirement we had for her to get her reward was to not physically harm anyone ("have a safe body").  The key to success is achievable, short term goals to build off of

GL momma

Laurie

elleinad
by on Jun. 21, 2009 at 10:26 PM

DHA supplements, and get rid of gluten. Helps a TON for ADHD kids who don't listen. And the best thing for him, absolutely: martial arts.

"...Only the doing of justice is a good enough excuse to be born."

 

meddling_kids
by on Jun. 21, 2009 at 10:57 PM

Hang on, what might work for SOME ADHD kids doesn't mean that it will work for ALL ADHD kids as far as supplements & diet changes are concerned. I have an autistic son, so I know full well that these diets & supplements don't work for EVERY person with a certain type of disorder. And as for martial arts, I'm not so sure.....he may benefit from some type of organized, structured activity, but maybe not martial arts. If he's already hitting people, you may not want to teach him how to hit BETTER. Yes, I know martial arts is very structured & teaches them not to use it on just anybody, but people with ADHD have impulse control issues, & until you have that part of it under control, he may not be able to learn that lesson. What about some type of sport - maybe something with lots of running? I'm sure he has LOTS of energy! I wish you the best of luck!

Quoting elleinad:

DHA supplements, and get rid of gluten. Helps a TON for ADHD kids who don't listen. And the best thing for him, absolutely: martial arts.


foreveryoung84
by on Jun. 24, 2009 at 2:32 AM

Sorry I did not get back to this post earlier, the days just kinda slipped away from me lol. But u are right and I will try it starting tomorrow. Today it took us 2 h just to  get him to bed he would not stop coming out screaming and yelling at his dad. but he never raises his voice at me so that is kinda weird. I am soo tired of this so tnx for ur suggestions

Quoting Lauriemom:

I am sorry momma,. what a tough situation to be in

The only advice I have for you is in regards to the rewards system you had in place for him

If he is incapable of making it an entire week to gain a reward, then you need to make a shorter term goal.  I think many 5 year olds would be hard pressed to make it a full week (or maybe I am just thinking of MY kids, LOL).  Set smaller goals, such as listening for one day. once he's mastered that, make it for 2 days, and keep upping the time till the reward.  Also, make the expectations very clear. 

If he is hitting, make the focus on that ONE behavior, (no hitting) and when he is successful at that, reward him.  Eventually, you can broaden it but in the beginning focus on the most concerning behavior.  My older DD has some behavioral concerns, and we began something like this, and the only requirement we had for her to get her reward was to not physically harm anyone ("have a safe body").  The key to success is achievable, short term goals to build off of

GL momma

Laurie


 




 




 Mother of 4  Nicholas Andre',Cerina Renee,Emma May and Benjamin Blaze

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)