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I quit taking my birth control...more worried about his mom IF I get pregnant...

Posted by on Jun. 21, 2009 at 9:40 PM
  • 15 Replies

This may be long and jumbled so you are forewarned and anyone who makes it through this all and understands. THANKS! lol  SO and I have been together since DD was 4 months old. Haven't talked to her bio dad since I was 2 months pregnant. It will stay that way. She has my last name and SO is her daddy. Him and I were engaged up until last October. The second we started planning our wedding it was no longer our wedding. It was his moms. I wanted it to be in April and here in Texas where we live. It ended up being on a boat in June in NY where his family is. Don't ask me how that happened but that woman is good. Next thing I know she is putting her granddaughter in my wedding. It would have been different if she would have asked SO or me but she just kinda slid it in there. I wanted my DD to be the only child in the wedding. I wanted her to have the spotlight. A LOT more wedding drama happened and I freaked and broke up with SO. It was sooo much to handle and at the time I was about to get out of the military and start a new career and I was so stressed and SO quit his job of 13 years to move down here with me when I transferred and his new job kept him away for 2 months at a time. Anyway, in April we got back together. Slowly reconnecting and its been amazing. Funny things is that we didn't have any problems before. IMO we were the couple that everyone wanted to be. Now, I don't want to get married. He has my engagement ring and I told him I just want to spend the rest of my life with him and don't need a piece of paper. I know its a little hurtful but you have no idea what that wedding drama was like. And honestly I would marry him but I would plan the wedding and MIL would simply get an invite. Nothing else. I don't need her help. So on to now...I kinda want another baby. I'm not going to be lost if it doesn't happen because I'm happy with one but I would like another. My worry is about MIL. Her and I haven't spoken since Oct. It puts SO in the middle and I hate it. I want another but will she accept him/her? Will she get mad at SO because her and I don't get along? Will she be pissed cause were not married and she's all about only having a baby if your married? I've been stress free for months now but I feel it coming on lately. I honestly think it will take a miracle for me to get pregnant because of some female problems but I still want to try. I think thats why I'm not getting my hopes up because a part of me feels like it probably won't happen. I'm always so calm and collective but all of a sudden I feel like a little mess. Why do I let this woman do this to me? I want to be close with his family but I feel like it will never happen. At the same time this woman is a control freak and maybe I don't want to be a part of that. I don't even know what I'm asking I'm just kinda getting thoughts out. Thanks for reading if you made it this far.

Mommy to human girl Ella born 10-14-06, my big beautiful brown eyed girl...mommy to 3 doggie furbabies Molly (10), Charley (16) and Cooper (2) and foster mommy to many furbabies. And caretaker, mentor and friend to the wonderful children in my in home daycare!


I  do not have to answer the question 'Why do you  have so many animals?' from people who will never have the joy in their lives of knowing they are loved unconditionally by someone as close to an angel as they will ever get..

by on Jun. 21, 2009 at 9:40 PM
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Replies (1-10):
sassyscorpio85
by on Jun. 21, 2009 at 9:44 PM

I don't see where its her choice if you have another baby or not. You should talk to your SO and see what he says!  Good luck!

Mommy_2_Ella
by on Jun. 21, 2009 at 9:47 PM

I'm worried that she will want nothing to do with the baby and that would kill SO. He says well cross that bridge when we get to it but I'm a planner. lol And I know he is worried about it too but doesn't let on much.


Quoting sassyscorpio85:

I don't see where its her choice if you have another baby or not. You should talk to your SO and see what he says!  Good luck!


Mommy to human girl Ella born 10-14-06, my big beautiful brown eyed girl...mommy to 3 doggie furbabies Molly (10), Charley (16) and Cooper (2) and foster mommy to many furbabies. And caretaker, mentor and friend to the wonderful children in my in home daycare!


I  do not have to answer the question 'Why do you  have so many animals?' from people who will never have the joy in their lives of knowing they are loved unconditionally by someone as close to an angel as they will ever get..

sassyscorpio85
by on Jun. 21, 2009 at 9:48 PM

Is she that horrible of a person to deny her own grandchild??

Quoting Mommy_2_Ella:

I'm worried that she will want nothing to do with the baby and that would kill SO. He says well cross that bridge when we get to it but I'm a planner. lol And I know he is worried about it too but doesn't let on much.

 

Quoting sassyscorpio85:

I don't see where its her choice if you have another baby or not. You should talk to your SO and see what he says!  Good luck!

 


ohmybaby
by Silver Member on Jun. 21, 2009 at 9:52 PM

In all honesty?  I'd recomend patching things up with your MIL before you throw another child in the mix.  You SO may be fine for years without his mom's interference but then again things can begin to fester as time goes by and a whole lot can go wrong.  General things don't just "get better" all by themselves.  Work things out and everyone will be happier in the end, especially the children.

x_sabine_x
by on Jun. 21, 2009 at 9:53 PM

Who cares what she thinks?? Do what you want, do what makes you happy! If you want another kid, go for it! You are letting her control you by being all worried about what she'll think. She doesn't get an opinion, it's not her life, it's yours and your SO's. If she wants to be close to you then she'll have to suck it up and realize she can't control everything. I don't have any empathy for people like that. My mom is kinda like that I'm barely talking to her anymore cause I don't need to deal with that bull.

-Ellen-

x_sabine_x
by on Jun. 21, 2009 at 9:54 PM

I agree with sassy!!! wth is wrong with that woman??

Quoting sassyscorpio85:

Is she that horrible of a person to deny her own grandchild??

Quoting Mommy_2_Ella:

I'm worried that she will want nothing to do with the baby and that would kill SO. He says well cross that bridge when we get to it but I'm a planner. lol And I know he is worried about it too but doesn't let on much.


Quoting sassyscorpio85:

I don't see where its her choice if you have another baby or not. You should talk to your SO and see what he says!  Good luck!




Mommy_2_Ella
by on Jun. 21, 2009 at 10:18 PM

I think she may be that horrible. Not really sure though. My own mother doesn't have anything to do with DD because she is half mexican and my mom thinks all mexicans are rapists and child molesters. She makes comments about DD's tan skin and dark hair. She's a little crazy though. Luckily my mom lives in Ohio so she's far away. I guess a big part of me wants her to be a part of their life because my mom isn't. And because my grandmother raised me and she was the most important person in the world to me. Even now and she passed away 8 years ago.

Quoting sassyscorpio85:

Is she that horrible of a person to deny her own grandchild??

Quoting Mommy_2_Ella:

I'm worried that she will want nothing to do with the baby and that would kill SO. He says well cross that bridge when we get to it but I'm a planner. lol And I know he is worried about it too but doesn't let on much.

 

Quoting sassyscorpio85:

I don't see where its her choice if you have another baby or not. You should talk to your SO and see what he says!  Good luck!

 



Mommy to human girl Ella born 10-14-06, my big beautiful brown eyed girl...mommy to 3 doggie furbabies Molly (10), Charley (16) and Cooper (2) and foster mommy to many furbabies. And caretaker, mentor and friend to the wonderful children in my in home daycare!


I  do not have to answer the question 'Why do you  have so many animals?' from people who will never have the joy in their lives of knowing they are loved unconditionally by someone as close to an angel as they will ever get..

Mommy_2_Ella
by on Jun. 21, 2009 at 10:20 PM

That was my plan to patch things up first. However I'm premenopausal and I'm only 27. By the time we patch things up chances are it will be too late.

Quoting ohmybaby:

In all honesty?  I'd recomend patching things up with your MIL before you throw another child in the mix.  You SO may be fine for years without his mom's interference but then again things can begin to fester as time goes by and a whole lot can go wrong.  General things don't just "get better" all by themselves.  Work things out and everyone will be happier in the end, especially the children.


Mommy to human girl Ella born 10-14-06, my big beautiful brown eyed girl...mommy to 3 doggie furbabies Molly (10), Charley (16) and Cooper (2) and foster mommy to many furbabies. And caretaker, mentor and friend to the wonderful children in my in home daycare!


I  do not have to answer the question 'Why do you  have so many animals?' from people who will never have the joy in their lives of knowing they are loved unconditionally by someone as close to an angel as they will ever get..

Mommy_2_Ella
by on Jun. 21, 2009 at 10:21 PM

That's what SO says when I tell him I'm worried about her. He knows she is a control freak but he's used to it. I've never had anyone in my life like that.

Quoting x_sabine_x:

Who cares what she thinks?? Do what you want, do what makes you happy! If you want another kid, go for it! You are letting her control you by being all worried about what she'll think. She doesn't get an opinion, it's not her life, it's yours and your SO's. If she wants to be close to you then she'll have to suck it up and realize she can't control everything. I don't have any empathy for people like that. My mom is kinda like that I'm barely talking to her anymore cause I don't need to deal with that bull.

-Ellen-


Mommy to human girl Ella born 10-14-06, my big beautiful brown eyed girl...mommy to 3 doggie furbabies Molly (10), Charley (16) and Cooper (2) and foster mommy to many furbabies. And caretaker, mentor and friend to the wonderful children in my in home daycare!


I  do not have to answer the question 'Why do you  have so many animals?' from people who will never have the joy in their lives of knowing they are loved unconditionally by someone as close to an angel as they will ever get..

azn_ladie82
by on Jun. 21, 2009 at 10:23 PM

Well all I can say..is live YOUR life and screw everyone else. If you, your daughter and your SO are happy..nothing else matters. If you keep on thinking about what if MIL likes or dislikes..you won't be truly happy. I say have a wedding and plan it yourself and just send her an invite. If she gets mad oh well, not her wedding.


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